Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread: Did Someone Say ‘Mimosas’?

As you might imagine, this little game keeps us — well, one of us — entertained for hours on end. Jackson likes it too.

Happy March, everyone! Whew, February is the shortest month, but it always dragggggs on, doesn’t it? But we’ve made it through the other side and now it’s March and in a few weeks it will be spring, oh happy, happy spring! I am looking forward to wearing skirts with no tights, shoes with no socks, and taking Jackson outside without fighting him for twenty minutes to get his coat and hat and mittens on first (by the way, another woman made a comment this morning at the playground about Jackson not wearing mittens. Never mind that her child was literally the only kid in the whole playground wearing mittens today, she still had to make a point of telling me I should be covering up my child’s hands. Um, thanks?

Anyway, onto help that is actually quite helpful — thank you for your generous donations! Thank you, thank you, thank you. As I write this, several dozen of you have already contributed to the DW donation drive and I’ve collected enough money to pay for several months of hosting fees so far. That will make such a difference. Knowing there’s money in the pot for the next bill or the next time I have to hire someone to help with tech issues frees up some mental space and will allow me to redirect that energy toward creating quality content and enhancing the overall experience here. So, thank you. Your support obviously means a lot in a financial sense, but more than that, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy knowing so many of you value this community enough to invest in it (and invest in me). It really does.

Ok, before I get too mushy, let’s switch topics. Let’s talk about… I dunno. Oh! How could I forget! I wanted to cordially invite all of you to the first annual DW Community Picnic to be held three months from today, June 1st, in Central Park. More details here. I figure three months is enough time for everyone to plan accordingly. Secure your vacation time, get your plane tickets or train tickets or ride from wherever, and come meet us in the park for Mimosas and such. I’m bringing my hula hoop.

68 comments… add one
  • BriarRose March 1, 2013, 4:28 pm

    He is so precious! And what is with the obsession with mittens in NYC? You should carry a pair around with you to throw at people.

    Has anyone ever had a colposcopy before? My pap was irregular so they’re bringing me in to do this test/procedure and it doesn’t sound entirely pleasant. Please tell me it’s not awful!

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    • kerrycontrary March 1, 2013, 4:39 pm

      I had….2? When I was in college. They’ll put you in stirrups like normal, and then they’ll shine a special light to spot the irregular cells and take a sample. My doctor actually showed me the screen (I’m not squimish, but it was kind of odd to see inside of me). The one time I had a resident who had a really poor disposition and she was like “this looks serious!” and I was so freaked out. After the first one they said wait until your next pap, and then I had a second one and they called back and said everything was fine and I didn’t have to worry. So it all went away on it’s own. I had already had Gardasil so it wasn’t a high-risk strain of HPV. Also, I was smoking occasionally at the time which increases the risk for irregular cells and takes your body longer to recover from HPV. Yours will most likely turn out fine and won’t be anything to worry about.

      About the procedure: It hurts a mild amount. When they take the sample, you will feel a big cramp. Just breathe through it. And for about half the day afterwards it will feel like bad period cramps (they just snipped off a part of your body! of course it hurts). The next day the liquid bandage they use will…fall out. It’s really gross looking. But they will warn you about it and it’s nothing to be concerned about.

      I hope this helps!Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about HPV, including your doctor. It’s super common.

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      • BriarRose March 1, 2013, 4:48 pm

        They made no mention of HPV to me, but I suppose that’s what caused the abnormal pap? I’m glad to hear you survived! My cervix is crazy sensitive, and I have ectropin (cervical cells on the outside of the cervix) so I imagine there will be a fair amount of bleeding, yay. Thanks for the feedback, that definitely helps!

      • kerrycontrary March 1, 2013, 4:52 pm

        Oh ok, usually it’s HPV but sometimes it can be tampons or smoking or what have you. Sorry for assuming! If you’ve had new sex/hookup partners lately that could explain it (not to get too personal!)

      • BriarRose March 1, 2013, 4:59 pm

        No, it’s fine! That’s probably what it is…I’m too old to have gotten the shot and it seems most people do end up getting HPV, even with safe sex.

    • Wendy March 1, 2013, 4:48 pm

      I’ve had one. It’s unpleasant but not awful. Ask your dr for a Rx for a painkiller if you’re worried.

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      • Wendy March 1, 2013, 4:58 pm

        Wait, I was thinking of a biopsy, since I had to have a couple of those during the colposcopy. The colposcopy itself didn’t hurt. The biopsy was painful, but nothing’s prescription strength Tylenol couldn’t take care of.

      • BriarRose March 1, 2013, 6:35 pm

        They said they’ll do a biopsy if needed, so thanks for the tip on the Rx!

    • Addie Pray March 1, 2013, 4:53 pm

      I bad one and it was awesome because my doctor was super hot, like whoaaaaaaa, and he answered a lot of ransoms questions I had about the female orgasm. Maybe you should go to my doctor. And the. The actual process! Not bad at all.

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      • Addie Pray March 1, 2013, 4:54 pm

        My thumbs don’t type GOOD.

    • Fabelle March 1, 2013, 4:55 pm

      I’ve also had 2! I personally barely find them uncomfortable, but I know reactions vary wildly from person to person.

      Basically, your doctor will insert the speculum, open it up so they can see your cervix (as they do in a PAP) & then rub something on it so the light they shine in there can pick up anything that looks funny.

      If they see something, they’ll cut it out. Which sounds horrifying, I know, but the doctor will probably say it feels like “a pinch” & to me, that’s exactly what it feels like. You know how your period cramps feel? Imagine an intense cramp, but only for like a milisecond. That’s how felt for me, at least!

      I did not experience the liquid bandage (or pain afterwards) the same way kerrycontrary did, but now that I think about it, yeah—my gyno did warn me that the liquid bandage might look icky (it’s black in color) Also “liquid bandage” is not quite as bad as it sounds—they basically just dab it on your cervix to seal off the cut.

      Hope this helps! You’ll probably have to go to the gyno every 6 months, like I’ve been doing the past 2.5 years!

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    • othy March 1, 2013, 5:02 pm

      Also, think of it this way: they can actually prevent cervical cancer from forming by doing regular pap smears/colposcopies. They can remove cells that might turn to cancer several years down the road because you are doing this procedure. A few minutes of discomfort is much better than the alternative.

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      • BriarRose March 1, 2013, 6:30 pm

        I totally agree, othy! I have no issue with having it done (appointment is already scheduled), was just curious about other people’s experiences. So glad I asked, everyone definitely put me at ease.

      • chicotia March 1, 2013, 9:48 pm

        I have had a few and had to go to the gyno every 6 months for a year or 2. It’s not too bad. It takes like 2 minutes longer than a pap and then it is over.

      • Trixy Minx March 1, 2013, 10:16 pm

        My sister had that done! She had a bunch of precancer cells and got them removed asap.

  • cdobbs March 1, 2013, 4:41 pm

    wish i could go to the dear wendy meetup…i’m off to cuba this week…so instead of a mimosa i will have a few mojitos!…thats it for my vacation time this year 🙁

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    • Addie Pray March 1, 2013, 4:47 pm

      oh fun! tell us why and what you’re going to be doing and then tell us how it goes!

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      • cdobbs March 2, 2013, 11:05 am

        heading to veradero, cuba for vacation with my mom and dad…just need to get away from the freezing canadian weather…we leave tomorrow afternoon and will be there for a week…veradero is supposed to be one of the top ten beaches in the world…so really looking forward to being there…and also going to havana to see the classic cars!

  • bethany March 1, 2013, 5:05 pm

    I’m planning on coming up for the Meetup!! If anyone in the Philly area wants to Amtrak it up there with me, looks like it’s about $100 roundtrip. Septa/NJ Transit is cheaper, obviously, but such an annoying hassle… I’d rather pay to ride in style!

    Ooh!! And I’m doing something fun this weekend that I wanted to share! I’m in a Wine Club with my parents (naturally…), and some family friends, and this weekend we’re going on a Wine Tour! We went last year, but just for a day trip. This year we’re going out all day Saturday, staying overnight and then going to more wineries on Sunday! It should be a lot of fun. Unfortunately, PA/MD wines aren’t the best, but it’ll still be a blast. The tour runs the whole month of March, I think. For those who might be in the area (South Central PA and Northern Maryland) and be interested in going sometime, here’s some info:

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  • GatorGirl March 1, 2013, 5:35 pm

    Oh, I want to come to the meet up! Hmm, I wonder what state ill be in on June 1…

    So, I’m an thrilled to see this week come to a close. It was a seriously crappy and cold one that culminated in about an hour and a half long panic attack at work. It was terrible. Luckily the fiancé just arrived in PA and rescued me from the office early. We’re currently supposed to be napping but I’ve way to much on my mind. My soon to be in laws are coming up for the first time to my parents farm and its nerve racking. Also I have a million (it feels like) wedding appointments this weekend and my last wedding shower. Then home to FL Monday!!

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    • theattack March 1, 2013, 5:38 pm

      I’m sorry you had such a crappy week and a panic attack at work. That’s a real bummer… I know it’s not much consolation, but soon enough it will be warm, and all the wedding stuff will be over, and all you’ll have to do is be married and hang out and do fun summer stuff on the weekends, and sometimes after work too because the days will be so much longer. I hope things get better for you!

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    • Trixy Minx March 1, 2013, 10:19 pm

      Is the wedding planning almost over?

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  • theattack March 1, 2013, 5:35 pm

    That meetup sounds really fun! I wish I could go, but I’ll be using all my vacation days on a honeymoon the month before.

    Wish me luck, guys. I’m going to visit my parents’ this weekend so I can tie the stupid bows around all our stupid invitations so we can get them sent out, and I really don’t want to go because I have not been getting along with my mother this week at all. She’s been so condescending and crazy about wedding stuff this week that I’ve cried most days over it. Maybe I’m just slipping into depression again, because everything just really sucks right now. Also, this government sequestration thing most likely means I’m out of a job soon, or at least by next year, so everything just seems pointless right now. I’m going home and cracking open a bottle of wine. Sorry to be such a downer.

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    • CatsMeow March 1, 2013, 6:12 pm

      I’m sorry. 🙁

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    • call-me-hobo March 1, 2013, 7:55 pm

      UGH- thattack, I’m so sorry. On the bright side, the wedding is almost here which means that soon the craziness (at least partially) will be all over.

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    • painted_lady March 1, 2013, 8:12 pm

      Oh no! I think you need to institute a fairly firm if-she-does-this-or-says-that policy where you give yourself permission to get the hell off the phone ASAP without setting her off further.

      I’m so sorry – you’re almost there. Maybe come up with a mantra to repeat at her when she pulls that shit? “Thanks Mom, I’ll think about that,” or “Mom, the important thing to remember is that, at the end of the day, if we’re married, it’s a success.” Meaning, “I will think about how that is absolutely NOT what I want to do,” and “Wow, that’s really fucking petty.” She just doesn’t have to know that.

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      • theattack March 2, 2013, 11:22 pm

        I LOVE your ideas!! I wish I had had a chance to read them before she gave me the cold shoulder today because she didn’t like where I planned on putting the buffet table at our reception. Ugh. I think I’m going to write your ideas down and keep them in my wallet or something, because this shit happens way too much.

      • painted_lady March 3, 2013, 2:03 pm

        Oh my god. I am so sorry. People get so petty about weddings. I think I will have some sort of backup elopement planned, and then yank out the brochure every time my mom starts acting crazy.

    • GatorGirl March 1, 2013, 8:48 pm

      🙁 sorry you’re having a bad week. If I can help in any way Facebook me! (Thanks for the lovely words above!)

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    • Trixy Minx March 1, 2013, 9:47 pm

      I’m so sorry theattack.

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  • TaraMonster March 1, 2013, 6:02 pm

    I got really excited about the meetup just now and wrote it in my calendar immediately (in all caps). Everyone come to NY and join us if you don’t live here! Let’s tear the Great Lawn UP! (not literally… Whatevs! I’m excited!)

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    • TaraMonster March 1, 2013, 6:06 pm

      Sorry, it’s on Sheep Meadow not the Great Lawn! Don’t let me confuse you all this early on! I didn’t read the forums too closely because I was SO EXCITED.

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      • Fabelle March 1, 2013, 6:11 pm

        I am super fucking excited too 😀 WHOO

  • painted_lady March 1, 2013, 6:04 pm

    I will still be in school 🙁 And I will be headed to Japan a few days later, on the 5th, so I really shouldn’t complain.

    I’m very glad the week is over. It was a rough one. A friend of the family died Wednesday of cancer. It wasn’t completely unexpected, but it was sooner than anyone anticipated. In fact, he texted my mom on Monday, “Talk to you soon.” They were planning for him to come visit. And then yesterday one of my favorite students got a call that her father had been shot…it turned out, after lots of tears and not being able to get ahold of anyone in her family, that someone had stolen her mother’s phone and made a prank call. People are fucking awful. But I am SO GLAD it was a false alarm. She had apparently been trying to get out of class all morning to come find me to tell me everything was fine, but I found out thanks to another faculty member before I even got to school. And then, not that this is nearly as bad, but I basically have to re-learn how to skate because I’ve been doing it wrong for two months and no one bothered to say. It’s frustrating and embarrassing, but I’m spending tomorrow morning practicing before rehearsal up at school.

    This weekend should be fun – aside from rehearsal, I’m going for drinks and then to see Avenue Q with friends, and then the derby league formal is tomorrow and I have a SUPER hot dress. And Sunday is the first day off Walter and I have had at the same time since Christmas break, so we’ll get to do more than just say good morning and good night.

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    • Fabelle March 1, 2013, 6:10 pm

      Avenue Q is HYSTERICAL; you will definitely enjoy it (if you haven’t already seen it? If you’re a theater geek, I won’t rule out the fact that you’re going for a 2nd/3rd time :))

      I’m sorry to hear about your week though, damn. That sounds rough & I’m glad you have a fun weekend planned after all that.

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      • painted_lady March 1, 2013, 6:17 pm

        I can sing all the music, but I’ve never seen it. It’s at the theatre in my neighborhood that I work at regularly, and my mom is actually playing Lucy the Slut and two of my good friends are playing Nicky and Mrs. Thistletwat. I’m excited! Plus, cast party after!!!

    • call-me-hobo March 1, 2013, 7:53 pm

      PL- where are you going to be in Japan?

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      • painted_lady March 1, 2013, 8:05 pm

        Flying into and spending the night in Tokyo, then ten days in Niigata learning to make Taiguruma, these gorgeous fish-lantern-cart things.

      • call-me-hobo March 1, 2013, 8:50 pm

        Wow! You’re going to be WAAAYY up north! Are you excited? Is it your first time in Japan?

      • painted_lady March 2, 2013, 2:57 am

        I am SO excited about going! I’ve never been to Japan, or anywhere outside the US and Europe. Niigata is our sister city, and it’s a small group of us going from school so we can bring all of this back and teach it to our students.

      • Addie Pray March 2, 2013, 6:30 am

        That sounds like a blast! Have fun. When exactly will you be gone so we can brace ourselves for less frequent (or, gasp, zero?) commenting from you on DW?

      • painted_lady March 2, 2013, 2:46 pm

        I’ll be gone June 5-18. I’ll have my iPad, and I imagine wifi is pretty common, so hopefully I won’t be totally off the grid.

    • Trixy Minx March 1, 2013, 9:55 pm

      My coworker’s wife died sat and the day before I went to drop off some flowers at hospice. I had met her a few times and she was a beautiful lady who died way too young. I didn’t know she was so close to passing. 🙁 She was very frail but still looked alive. I’m just really happy I was able to bring flowers before she passed. I just had a feeling i needed to do it asap when i normally procrastinate everything. 🙁

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      • painted_lady March 2, 2013, 2:58 am

        I’m so sorry to hear she passed away as well. Fuck cancer.

  • Fabelle March 1, 2013, 6:13 pm

    Also, the thumbs look good! (I don’t want Wendy to think we only have a voice when complaining, haha) I noticed them after the page loaded, & they brought me no distress (a high compliment?)

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  • Taylor March 1, 2013, 6:20 pm

    Happy March indeed! I call February one of the armpits of the year (the other one is November).

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    • Anna March 2, 2013, 1:07 pm

      Agreed. I have always hated that my birthday is in February because my dream is to have a warm birthday. There’s a much better chance of that for my 30th next year in NC!

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      • Copa March 2, 2013, 3:48 pm

        Although I hate February, I have an early June birthday (same weekend as this meetup — and by pointing this out I’m *kinda* sticking to the original topic) and although it’s usually warm and nice out, it’s been problematic because: I used to have finals on my birthday through high school, in college I was always back home for the summer and couldn’t celebrate with my college friends (I didn’t grow up where my parents lived sooo I only had a couple people around), and now that I’m past those stages, I’ve consistently had weddings taking over my birthday the past few years.

        Just trying to make you less envious. 😉

  • call-me-hobo March 1, 2013, 8:02 pm

    I wish I could say that I was having a good weekend- I’ve been ordered on bed rest, which means lots of DW, tumblr, and facebook!

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    • painted_lady March 1, 2013, 8:13 pm

      Oh no, how come?

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      • call-me-hobo March 1, 2013, 8:48 pm

        I went to the ER two nights ago for back pain. Apparently I had bladder spasms? Didn’t know that those existed. It also ended up spraining some of my back muscles, so I spent some time in the hospital. It just sucks, because the doctor wants me to miss almost 6 days of class total for this stuff.

      • Addie Pray March 1, 2013, 9:55 pm

        call-me-hobo?! i had no idea. you’re one of my favorites! so take care of yourself, for my sake, k? 😉

      • Rachel March 2, 2013, 1:24 am

        Yikes, that sounds awful! Listen to your doctor, classes will sort themselves out. Hope you feel better soon!

      • painted_lady March 3, 2013, 2:05 pm

        That’s terrible! I second what rachel said, though. Classes will take care of themselves. Just focus on feeling better.

  • Addie Pray March 1, 2013, 9:54 pm

    Wendy, is Jackson turning into a lil’ red head?! His hair looks red. Can it be true? Swoon!!! Oh my god the little girls are going to go nuts.

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    • Trixy Minx March 1, 2013, 9:59 pm

      You like redheads? lol I have a cousin who is half Irish/mexican. He’s got the brightest red hair and really tanned skin and green/blue eyes. Its kinda weird cause most of the redheads are super pale but it works for him. lol

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      • Addie Pray March 1, 2013, 10:05 pm

        yowzers is he single? i love red heads. i’ve had 3 redheaded boyfriends which, statistically speaking, is RARE! and i’ve covered the red head spectrum, almost. see, i think of red heads as being either: auburn, “red” red, “orange” red, or strawberry blond. I’ve dated an auburn red, orange red, and strawberry blond redhead…. It’s this theory I have, that there are 4 types of redheads. I think “red” red is really rare – that dark red hair and pale skin and dark eyes. …. I have run this redhead theory by friends and they think i’m weird. but whatever, i get it. My favorite redhead boyfriend was Frank. He has auburn hair.

      • Trixy Minx March 1, 2013, 10:15 pm

        Oh he’s probably only 20 lol

      • Addie Pray March 1, 2013, 10:16 pm

        and the problem is? …. j/k

      • Trixy Minx March 1, 2013, 10:18 pm

        I need to find a picture of him cause its soo freaking weird! He has zero freckles and a surfers tan. lol

  • chicotia March 1, 2013, 9:54 pm

    I would love to come to the meet up but I probably won’t be back to New York that early in the summer. My cousin is due at the end of May so I’ll probably wait a month or two to head back east.
    This weekend is pretty exciting for me and my husband. We are getting a dog on Sunday! We were supposed to get him tomorrow but the rescue couldn’t get him a vet appointment until Sunday. I can’t contain my excitement!!!

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  • Trixy Minx March 1, 2013, 10:14 pm

    There’s a very small possibility I could attend the meetup. I am applying for positions within my company in the corporate north Carolina offices and crossing my fingers that I get it come May which means I could easily attend since I could take a train/plane there. Though, I might freak out if I met Wendy. Not in a weird way just like I meet her and I probably wouldn’t know what to say. lol. Or what if she doesn’t like me? I’d be so sad.
    My week has not been good. My mom had a backward slip and needed to be rushed to a behavioral health center. The doctors allowed her to go home but she’s VERY convincing at pretending to be okay. So I had to pick her up from the hospital at keep watch until my stepdad came home. All of that just added onto my stress since I had two major tests this week and I had to miss one (thankfully was able to make up) and didn’t have time to finish my homework and prep for the other test. Now my computer is down and I am waiting on a new laptop charger to come in the mail so I can get back to obsessively watching Scandal. Which btw I got Hulu Plus so I could watch all the episodes but nooo I can only watch the second season. Damnit. Need to fill my addiction.
    On the Plus side.. I went into Goodwill to see if they have any laptop chargers and I walked out with some really nice high end purses for crazy cheap. Some of them still had the tags on! Whoopie!

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    • Anna March 2, 2013, 1:16 pm

      Barring some unforeseen circumstance, I’ll be in NC by June. If you are too, we should ride together! Plane tickets would be super expensive but trains might be affordable. Road tripping it would be even more affordable, actually. When I drove from Cleveland to Raleigh and back, I only spent $120 round trip for gas. Plane tickets would have cost $300. According to Google maps, it’s 506 miles from Raleigh to NYC going straight up the east coast. At 30 mpg in my Jetta, it would cost about $65 each way. It would only take 8 hours. Hmm, really makes me want to go on a trip to NYC.

      Hope your mom is ok!

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  • canefan March 2, 2013, 7:15 pm

    This meetup sounds like so much fun. I know I don’t comment much, but I do lurk like nobody’s business and I would be totally psyched meeting all of you in person 🙂 Amtrak alll the wayyyy!

    My weekend is kinda bleh. I have midterms next week, plus a significant chunk of my thesis is due, so I’ve been a hermit for the most part. BUT I’m also excited that its midterms, because that means I am so so so close to graduating! I love Philly, but I’m definitely looking forward to living with my husband in DC again. Its been a long/lonely two years! The only downside is that I’ve been kicked out of my apartment multiple times a day for the past week because they’re showing it to new tenants so I haven’t been terribly productive… First world problems, amirite? hahah

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  • Skyblossom March 3, 2013, 1:06 pm

    How about making a sarcastic joke when someone tells you Jack should be wearing mittens. Something like – It is illegal to glue them on.

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    • katie March 3, 2013, 2:49 pm

      “alas, CPS frowns on the use of duct tape on children..”

      haha, i like this idea

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  • Trixy Minx March 3, 2013, 3:42 pm

    Anyone see the YouTube video of the toddler planking in his crib?

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  • shanshantastic March 4, 2013, 9:30 am

    I want to come!! But that’s two weeks from my due date, so no travel for us. Have an awesome time!!

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