Last week I threatened to phase out the Weekend Open Thread, but amid protestations, it’s here and staying.
So, what’s new? How was your week? Mine was exhausting. Jackson refused to nap, which you carefree, childless people may not realize is such a big deal (I didn’t until I had a kid), but those of you who have traveled this course know it’s a really rough one. Not only does it make for a super cranky baby, but I count on those precious two to four hours a day that he’s conked out to get my work done, so when he doesn’t sleep, it’s brutal. So I had a mini meltdown this week. I even considered shutting this site down. I know! But Drew talked some sense into me and said that no one would think less of me if I cut back on posting some days when I just don’t have time to work (you wouldn’t, would you?), and I’m also thinking it’s getting close to that time when I need to find some childcare help. Two mornings a week would make a huge difference in our lives — and in my mental well-being. I’ve been avoiding this issue because it’s an expense that’s hard to justify when I’m not making big bucks, but I guess there’s no shame in admitting`1 I feel overwhelmed and I need help. Now, to find that help…
Oh! and Jackson rolled over (a full 360 roll) for the first (and second and hundredth — he would not stop!) time this week. It was sooo cute. He just kept trying and trying and when he finally did it, the look on his face! Oh wow. Sheer pride.
Do I sound like a mommy blogger? Someone (in my real life) referred to me as that the other day and it totally threw me. I was like, “Well, I’m not really a mommy blogger…” I’m not, right?
I might be having a bit of an existential crisis this week.
Anyhoo. How you doin’? Who’s watching the Superbowl this Sunday? We’re going to a Superbowl party (leaving J with a babysitter for a couple of hours), but I’m just going for the food and company (not even staying for the whole game). I know the Giants are playing, but I’m not even sure whom they’re playing against. Wait, the Patriots, right? Someone pass the short ribs…
[photo via this isn’t happiness]
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mertlej February 3, 2012, 5:05 pm
I am EXHAUSTED. i’ve been working from 8:30-midnight all week, and i’m going to have to work all weekend. Downside to that (please, working all weekend is a downside in and of itself, but additional downside)? I’m co-hosting a superbowl party where at least 20 people are coming, and i’m in charge of all of the food (meatball sliders, bacon wrapped cream cheese filled jalapenos, taco dip, wings, etc etc)
help meeeeeeeeee
JK February 3, 2012, 5:24 pm
Couldn´t everyone take a dish? Catering for so many people after working so much sounds like so much trouble.
mertlej February 3, 2012, 5:31 pm
Yeah, I’m regretting that we didn’t ask everyone to bring a dish when we first sent the invite out, but at the time I had no idea i’d be this busy at work, and i love to cook. And now… i feel like it may be a bit too late in the game (ha, see what i did there?). At this point, I’ll be happy if i can 1) make it and 2) bring pre-made food. le sigh.
JK February 3, 2012, 5:34 pm
I would definitely go with easier things (then again, I have no idea what Super Bowl parties are like). But there are so many options for finger foods: maybe you can find less time consuming options.
jlyfsh February 3, 2012, 6:01 pm
I would say find a store or restaurant to do the work for you and buy an extra large bottle of wine for yourself 🙂
Wendy February 3, 2012, 6:42 pm
Do you have a Trader Joe’s in your area? They have wonderful party foods that I’m sure are featured this weekend in easy-to-see places. They’re cheap, too. And tasty!
mertlej February 3, 2012, 7:50 pm
They actually JUST opened one pretty close to my apartment! Thanks guys, i was feeling a wee bit guilty about shortcutting. but seeing as how its 7:00 on a friday and i’m in the office for the foreseeable future… trader joes cheese plate it is! 🙂
amber February 3, 2012, 8:07 pm
i second trader joe’s! they have this terrific spinach artichoke dip in the frozen food section. it’s amazing and only takes like 3 minutes in the microwave to make. i’ve taken it to a number of potlucks and everybody loves it. the frozen orange chicken is also delicious. i have to stop now, i’m making myself hungry!
lets_be_honest February 3, 2012, 5:10 pm
Oh man. I feel for you. I wish there was a way we could chip in and give you a week off while still getting letters to comment on. However, I noticed (yesterday?) there were less postings I think the past couple days, but all that did was make people comment like crazy on another letter. So I hope you see that too and give yourself a break. If there’s only a Your Turn letter on any given day (football reference! go me!), no one will mind, we’ll all understand, and you will get some rest! Not that I want to give you any crazy ideas, but even taking a week off and leaving us with an open thread wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, right guys? I’d be stunned if you lost any of us daily readers.
Best wishes for a relaxing, well deserved weekend.
lets_be_honest February 3, 2012, 5:11 pm
p.s. Thank you thank you thank you for keeping the open threads!!
Iwannatalktosampson February 3, 2012, 5:21 pm
Your comment just made me think of another good idea for days Wendy’s busy with Jackson! Wendy – I remember a while ago you mentioned that you get some really train-wrecky letters that are just too ridiculous for you to answer – on days when you can’t post a lot you should just make those really riduclous ones “your turn” because it seems like the really ridiculous letters tend to lead to really ridiculous comments and tangents by people.
Or you could just have a thread about abortion, religion, or politics and really watch the claws come out in people! 🙂
Rachel February 3, 2012, 5:43 pm
Oh gosh, please not abortion. I’ve been arguing with people about abortion this whole week due to the Komen/PP fiasco.
iwannatalktosampson February 3, 2012, 5:45 pm
Haha my husbands whole family and I are polar opposites on that issue and makes for some really interesting drunken conversations!
How are you liking the snow yo?!?
Rachel February 3, 2012, 6:04 pm
I’m not the biggest fan of winter, but if it’s going to be cold, it might as well be pretty!
I shoveled about 8″ at my house this morning – how much did you get down there?
Aya February 3, 2012, 8:32 pm
I was in Colorado Springs for work this week, and made it out just in time before they shut down the Denver airport. I haven’t been home in two weeks, so I’m greatful that I didn’t get stranded.
Wendy February 3, 2012, 6:44 pm
Yeah, I purposefully try to keep politics off this site (for the most part). I am pretty staunch in my views as I’m sure are most others, but political views are too polarizing for a healthy debate in this kind of forum where I really try to foster an atmosphere of camaraderie.
GatorGirl February 3, 2012, 6:17 pm
I second your comments and idea! Wendy take a breather when you need too! If you’re taking a whole day off maybe let us know? I think the DW community would be very worried!
JK February 3, 2012, 5:11 pm
Hang in there, Wendy, I know those weeks are awful but they´re just phases!
He´s rolling over already? Precocious little thing!
I don´t live in the US, but if I did I would definitely watch the “Puppy Bowl” on Sunday, I didnpt even know it existed until the other day, apparently on Animal Planet at the same time as the Super Bowl they have a bunch of puppies (from shelters) running around a stadium with toys and things – all supervised by vets. And the halftime show is kittens. It sounds so cute.
iwannatalktosampson February 3, 2012, 5:41 pm
I’m sure I should know th
slamy February 3, 2012, 5:41 pm
I can’t wait for the puppy bowl!!
iwannatalktosampson February 3, 2012, 5:41 pm
Is but where in Canada are you from? I recognize the spelling stuff.
JK February 3, 2012, 5:44 pm
Haha, I´m actually from NZ (that´s why the nonUS spelling), but living in Argentina.
iwannatalktosampson February 3, 2012, 5:47 pm
Oh whoops I just assumed Canada, haha. I want to visit Argentina so badly!!! So pretty!
JK February 3, 2012, 5:50 pm
It is truly a beautiful country. If you come let me know and I´ll clue you in on the best places to visit! And we can do a Dw meetup! There are several of us that live here!
painted_lady February 3, 2012, 6:01 pm
Send me wine! I’ve totally fallen in love with Argentinian malbecs!!!
katie February 3, 2012, 6:46 pm
malbecs are awesome! they also pair absolutely perfectly with lamb, if you have already tried that… its heaven.
painted_lady February 3, 2012, 7:20 pm
Ooh, and they’re not bad with pork, either, if it’s seasoned right. I’m cooking dinner (alone!) while my boyfriend’s at work. I may make my ex-roommate’s recipe and pick up a bottle. I don’t miss her creeper boyfriend, but anytime she and I had free weekends, we’d hit up Central Market and spend all weekend cooking and watching Star Wars or LOTR, and I do miss that a lot. Maybe I’ll turn on Empire Strikes Back in her honor.
katie February 3, 2012, 7:41 pm
they work well with almost any light meat, but for some reason, they are magic with lamb. my boyfriend’s wine professor told him that, and we have always found it to be true.
aw, yea me and my roommate in college used to do that stuff to. we had a secret grocery store we went to that none of our friends knew about, and we would make such good dinners! and we found out an amazing recipe for guac. ahh, cooking with friends.
JK February 3, 2012, 7:28 pm
I don´t drink but they do say they´re very good. Was it you I was telling in another thread that I went to the wine country last Summer? Amazing place. And my husband loved the wines. 🙂
painted_lady February 4, 2012, 8:57 am
I think so. In the fall then-roomie and some friends of ours took a Napa trip (I had to teach – boo) and brought back several cases of wine. As much as I hates missing the trip they at least shared all the wine with me!
Iwannatalktosampson February 3, 2012, 5:18 pm
Thank you for keeping the open threads!! And I would seriously cry if you closed down the site. I think if it ever got to that point all the DW readers would band together and help you out. At least I think so. I have started purchasing all my amazon stuff through here though, so that’s a start!
I understand the whole – I need help but we can’t afford it thing all too well. This month I have decided to splurge on a house cleaner because I am studying for the bar and I can never concentrate when the house is dirty because I’m a little OCD like that, but I don’t have time to do it either, so it’s this weird thing that stresses me out WAY more than it should. But then since I don’t have a job yet and have a bunch of student loans I feel guilty spending money excessively like this. But my mental health won this particular battle for now.
Anyway that’s great you are getting out of the house for a while!! I am cheering against Tom Brady. Like I don’t really necessarily want the Giants to win, but I want the patriots to lose. Tom Brady and Giselle are Blech. But i’m mostly watching for the chance to drink beer and the excuse to make pot roast in the crock pot.
It snowed 10 inches in Colorado last night and another 3-5 tomorrow…so i’m loving the snow day. Even though i’m still studying and doing stuff it is just so nice to do it in the peace and quite of my home with some candles burning and the fireplace on! And “snow light” is my favorite. Like when it’s really bright in your house and it’s white light as opposed to sunshine. I don’t know it might be a weird Colorado thing.
katie February 3, 2012, 6:30 pm
oh the snow!!!!!! lol. i get to leave work way early tonight. yay!
Wendy February 3, 2012, 5:27 pm
Thanks, you guys. Today was better (I wrote the open thread post last night). Jackson took a long nap this morning and I was able to get a bunch of stuff lined up for next week (though posting may still be a little less than usual as I am also doing behind-the-scenes marketing stuff) and then we spent the afternoon with our neighborhood mom and baby friends. And now Drew’s home and it’s the weekend, so yay!
iwannatalktosampson February 3, 2012, 5:34 pm
Yay!! Assuming the mommy friends are equally awesome – it always so nice to have people to go through the same things as you at the same time. And don’t worry about us, no one will judge you if once a day you have a “talk amongst yourselves” post. Sometimes the random conversations are good bonding times between us all!
By the way are you still accepting personal essays?
Wendy February 3, 2012, 6:46 pm
Definitely still accepting personal essays (see the submissions tab in the menu bar at the top).
JK February 3, 2012, 5:36 pm
I am so jealous that you have mummy friends in your neighbourhood!!! I have several close-ish friends with babies a couple of months on either side of mine, but the closest one lives like 20 mins away. I would love to be able to get together on a regular basis with people going through the same thing I am!!!
Wendy February 3, 2012, 6:48 pm
Well, I started a new moms’ group when I was 8 months pregnant otherwise I would not have nearby mom friends with same-age behbehs.. I joined a neighborhood listserv and then made a post asking if anyone was due in the Fall and might want to get start a group to sort of support each other (especially though these early months). There are about 20 of us! (But I’m getting close with about a handful of them). Maybe you could do something similar in your area?
JK February 3, 2012, 6:57 pm
Thanks for the tip, I have to be one of the least technological savvy people there is (at least in my age group).Plus I think things here are a bit different in the US (could just be due to my ignorance though!)
I am networking a bit more now thanks to the eldest´s kindy, one of the other mums has a baby that will actually bein the same class as my baby when they start kindy, unfortunately her eldest is a boy, so he and my daughter don´t play that much together.
jlyfsh February 4, 2012, 8:54 am
Wendy I also thought more about the fact that your friend called you a mommy blogger. And I mean I get that you are a Mom AND a blogger, but I don’t feel like you only write about being a Mom. I guess that’s what I would equate being a Mommy blogger to. And I think I speak for most of the DW community when I say that we love the posts about Jackson and parenthood just as much as the the other posts.
I honestly didn’t even notice the fewer posts because the comments/discussion boards were so active. Another great testatment to the wonderful community you’ve developed here 🙂
painted_lady February 4, 2012, 5:22 pm
I agree – I haven’t for a moment thought of you as a “Mommy Blogger.” I don’t know if the person who said it reads DW, but if they don’t, how very presumptuous of them to jump to that conclusion, as if, now that you’re a mom, that’s the only thing you could possibly want to write about. And if they do read it, how is it that “mom” cancels out the rest of your identity. Ridiculous, I say!
Katie February 4, 2012, 11:03 pm
i agree-
i would think that a “mommy blogger” would just talk about parenting and diapers and stuff.. and you havent done that! i think that you have just integrated this new chapter of your life into DW just like you would have done had it been anything else… i mean, when you took your trip to paris we got updates on that, just about in the same frequency that we get jackson updates, i think.
AKchic_ February 3, 2012, 5:43 pm
I’m shoveling this weekend. Going to try to watch the game, but I’m not 100% if that will happen. Going to get some cleaning done if I can too.
landygirl February 3, 2012, 5:51 pm
Does it cound that if my husband doesn’t get a nap that he’s a big baby? I suppose not.
jlyfsh February 3, 2012, 6:06 pm
sometimes when my husband is sick I swear he regresses and it feels like I am baby sitting.
Rachel February 3, 2012, 5:55 pm
My week was stressful. I’m kind of afraid that all of my weeks will be this stressful until I defend my phd in July, and I’m kind of afraid of what that will do to my sanity. And I have so much work to do and instead of doing it, I decided to have a snack and check DW. sigh :/
Oh well, enough complaining. I am looking forward to the super bowl. I love football, but hate both teams, so I’m getting excited about all the food.
TaraMonster February 3, 2012, 6:02 pm
I am SO EXCITED to see the Giants beat the Patriots AGAIN!!!!!
And that’s all I have to say for now because it’s time to get the heck out of this office.
Go defense!!
jlyfsh February 3, 2012, 6:11 pm
My excitement for the week was getting an iPhone! I wish the weekend would last longer because I’m helping host a workshop next week and I hate public speaking! Also its weird because my name tag says expert, I do not feel like an expert!
slamy February 3, 2012, 6:15 pm
My week was good for the most part.
Bad news first: I have a fungal infection from my yoga mat (GROSS, I KNOW). Never have I felt lamer than when my doctor told me that. And I can’t reach the spot where it’s at, so my roommate has to put it on there for me twice a day. So dang cool, this girl.
Aside from that – I got my tax return this week, which is good. I always do my taxes right away because I don’t own anything so it’s super easy for me to file. I went and saw one of my favorite bands, They Might Be Giants, last night, and it was freaking incredible. It was sold out and I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to go, and my friend got me in for freeee. Oh, and at the end I was standing outside waiting for my friend, and I talked to this cute guy and we ended up exchanging numbers and we have a lunch date tomorrow. I’m trying not to think about it because I’m just gonna make myself nervous.
I’m going home to enjoy some weed and start my weekend. I will be watching the puppy bowl on Sunday. 🙂
Rachel February 3, 2012, 6:19 pm
omg, I bet They Might be Giants would be so fun to see live!
GatorGirl February 3, 2012, 6:26 pm
I’ve had a train wreck of a week. I work from home, but for the next two weeks I’m heading up to PA to do the year end paperwork, meet with the accountant, etc. (So I may be MIA for a little while if anyone notices) So I’ve spent this week going nuts tying up loose ends and trying to prepare for a week in a contruction trailer surrounded by dust, men and power tools. It also means I have to leave the BF and my kitty for two weeks which I’m not thrilled about. I still have to pack and clean the apartment and go on a date with the BF tonight. Did I mention I’m driving 900 miles over the next two days?
I’m also completely unprepared to deal with winter. Living in Florida this year has spoiled me.
I also spent an hour at the bank today trying to figure out opening a new account to escrow my rent payments I’m not paying on my leased apartment because we’re probably going to court over the landlords breach in contract. I’m really looking forward to it. Not.
On a good note I had the windows open all week 🙂 and am going with the BF to see our favorite bartender tonight. Oh, I probably won’t be watching the Super Bowl. After 16+ hours of driving sandwhiching a night out with college friends and having to be at work at 8am Monday…I’ll be taking a shower and going to bed! Have a good weekend everyone!
katie February 3, 2012, 6:45 pm
three words for long drives: chocolate covered pretzels.
painted_lady February 3, 2012, 6:28 pm
Omg, STRESSFUL WEEK. Different kind of stress, but I had a rough one as well. So I’m running around like a crazy person right now, doing my standard two-schools-three-subjects thing, and rehearsing after school with my theatre kids for their competition show, plus rehearsing with grownups in the evenings. That was already getting to me, and then I was asked to “throw together a skit” for Black History Month, which is, um, THIS MONTH, and I kind of lost my shit with the woman who asked me as 1) we don’t have a script and those don’t appear at will out of my ass, 2) I would have two weeks to throw together costumes and props without having any time to do it, 3) the lady who asked me is one of the last in the building in the morning and manages to get away with leaving early so that, as she told me, no one will ask her questions when she just wants to get home, and 4) we have plenty of opportunities to showcase our talent – the SHOWS that we produce that exactly five teachers attended last time, and this lady wasn’t one of them! So you want me to do you a favor? Fuck that noise. Then to top it all off, I was informed last-minute that the auditorium is being rented Saturday, and so I have to be at work at 8 am on Saturday. No “Will you?” No “Did you have something going on?” RAAAAAARGH!
And then it’s occurred to me, as much as it sucked to drive an hour one way for the last two years to get to school, it guaranteed me two hours of uninterrupted alone time. And now I live five minutes away, but I have no me-time. My boyfriend, who is wonderful, hasn’t picked up a whole lot of hours at work and hasn’t made the sort of friends yet that he can just go grab a beer with. He’s wonderful – he’s made dinner almost every night, and he listens to me rant, but he’s always there, which doesn’t give me a whole lot of time to decompress. Last night, I went upstairs to take a shower and was just about to turn on an audiobook and enjoy twenty minutes of being in a room by myself when he poked his head through the door and asked if he could join me.
I can’t remember exactly when I started crying, but I sort of lost it. I get that he’s alone and bored all day, and I get that he’s lonely, and I get that he’s only here because of me. So I feel terrible, but I JUST WANTED TO TAKE A SHOWER. I have people up my butt all day, and I didn’t want one more.
But we talked, and I explained, fortunately, that I need some alone time every day. Not much, necessarily, but some. He understands, and he promised to be a little more independent. And also to find something to do all day that gets him out of the house.
And then I found out today that there’s a nearly guaranteed possibility that next year I will be at only one school, and I won’t be teaching theatre. I never wanted to teach it; I hate after school rehearsals, I don’t like all the construction that goes into a production, and to be perfectly honest I don’t deal well with kids who are ambivalent about it, and I’m OCD enough that I want to do it perfectly or not at all. I hate teaching theatre. And I may not have to do it much longer.
katie February 3, 2012, 6:41 pm
dang girl! you need a drink!!
iwannatalktosampson February 4, 2012, 2:16 am
I need a drink just hearing about your stress!!
Eagle Eye February 4, 2012, 11:44 pm
I’m about to jump into bed now so I can’t write out a long reply (I will do so tomorrow!) but I went through the exact same thing with my bf when we moved in together but reversed…
In either case, we did establish some ground rules so that everyone stays sane, I promise to elaborate tomorrow…
painted_lady February 5, 2012, 1:09 pm
Thanks, ladies! Honestly, once I heard that I probably won’t be teaching theatre anymore, it was like a 200-pound weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I didn’t realize exactly how much I hated it because I’d been spending all school year trying to convince myself that I wasn’t miserable, but man, do I hate every facet of that part of my job. It would be like being a fully trained chef and having a job where all you were allowed to do was teach kids how to bake chocolate chip cookies. And you had to start so early in the morning and end so late in the evening that you had to give up cooking for yourself or anyone but these kids and all you could do was bake chocolate chip cookies with kids who hate cookies and just want to throw cookie dough at each other. That’s what teaching theatre is like for me.
Anyway, thank you for letting me vent. Also, Eagle Eye, I’d love your tips. I don’t want to come off as heartless, but I know he’s not happy either, and having a 6’4″ shadow when I come home is making me claustrophobic.
Eagle Eye February 5, 2012, 2:25 pm
Haha, yeah no worries sorry, this weekend has kind of gotten out from under me but here goes…
So, long story short, I’m the first person he’s ever actually lived with, even in college he essentially had his own place, so, for him, solitude is how he kept himself sane with the crazy amount of work heaped upon a ChemE major. Additionally, he had just started grad school for Chem and it was brutally kicking his ass, so solitude was even more necessary. I, on the other hand, had a job that basically had me working in a windowless warehouse by myself for 7hrs a day, 4x a week, also, it was the end of college and following a falling out with my friends at the time, needless to say I was starved for company and basic human interaction.
In the end, we came up with a couple of ways to keep both of happy, as well as some more major life choices that have also been helpful.
The key for me was to not take his need for solitude to heart, and to understand that when he needed time alone to work or just sit by himself, I needed to respect that and go into another room. I eventually got that his need to be alone did not mean that he didn’t love me, but that we’re just different people.
For me, and my need for human interaction, he learned that when he came home I needed to be greeted with a smile and kiss, something happy, even after a long day. After that, I would feel better about leaving him alone.
Now, that was all generally short term bandages for issues, the bigger changes came later. One of them involved moving into a slightly bigger apartment so that we actually have a small office where he can go and close the door. I also just started up in grad school and made up with my old friends so that I’m not nearly so starved for company like I used to be.
Hope this helps!
painted_lady February 5, 2012, 8:32 pm
Thanks! This helped, definitely. I think I’ve been trying so hard to give him my full attention the whole time I’m home, but I’m so stressed out right now that I’m doing a terrible job of it. So yeah, if I can give him a few minutes of undivided attention before I go chill out upstairs, that would probably be better than the entire hour I’m home wishing I were somewhere by myself.
Fortunately our apartment is pretty spacious, and he’s starting school in June, so he will be far busier (and I actually won’t be since it’s summer). I think we’ll probably find a good happy medium by then. We did have a really long talk today about how unhappy he is, which I empathize with, and how he’s not doing anything to help himself, which is where I’m frustrated. There are a million different places to volunteer in our town, plus a really nice free recreational center and gym, which I would kill to have the free time to use, and nothing else, my dog loves a good long walk, which I do when I can, but I work way too much. Plus there’s a beach less than a mile away!!!! Get out of the house!!!!
Eagle Eye February 6, 2012, 10:14 am
yeah, I remember being that unhappy, its almost a light depression in which doing anything seems like such a big deal, even though I knew that I would be starting school in the fall (or in the summer as the case may be) and that things would probably pick up then.
My bf actually made a real effort to provide some pressure to get me out the door, like when he instituted a 4pm run for me on my days off from work, and he would ask me questions about how the run went when he came home, so he would know whether or not I had actually left the house…
But yeah, the five minutes of niceties when he came home probably made the biggest difference, I got a bit of genuine positive human interaction and he wasn’t roped into giving me lots of (less genuine and positive) attention.
katie February 3, 2012, 6:43 pm
well… i hate football. there, i said it. go ahead and tear me apart.
if my boyfriend was off of work i would watch the game with him, but of course one of the other guys requested sunday off just to watch the superbowl, so my boyfriend will be working all weekend. so, i have deemed this weekend the Scrapbowl weekend. or Superscrap weekend. i dunno, im still coming up with the name… but im gonna freaking scrapbook!! i am so lame, i have pictures printed from my birthday that was last october, all the way back to my birthday the year BEFORE that one. yay 2 days of scrapbooking! oh, and a 1 year old’s birthday party on saturday. with Nepali food. im way excited for that one to!!
painted_lady February 3, 2012, 6:55 pm
I hate football too!!!!!! I will be in grownup rehearsal Sunday night, though, so I don’t have to worry about it.
CatsMeow February 3, 2012, 11:00 pm
I despise football. I didn’t even know the Super Bowl was this weekend. Actually, I don’t like any sports. My boyfriend doesn’t either, but he sometimes pretends that he does when he’s around other guys.
Brad February 3, 2012, 11:32 pm
I feel his pain. It can be annoying sometimes being a guy that’s not into sports. If only I had a dollar for every time I’ve have to answer the question of why I don’t like them, haha!
iwannatalktosampson February 4, 2012, 12:22 am
My husband isn’t really into sports either. Which is weird because I set my alarm for college gameday every Saturday. I then make him watch games all day even if my team isn’t playing and the teams playing aren’t even in the big ten. He is thoroughly confused by it but I’m slowly teaching him why teams not in our division still affect us. Anyway I always joke with his dad that I’m like the son he never had because both my husband and brother in law could care less about sports. Like they’ll watch the broncos if it’s convenient, but their day doesn’t depend in it. He has to pretend like he cares around other guys too. 🙂
Valerie February 4, 2012, 11:13 am
I love College Gameday too.
Big Ten! What’s your team? I’m an Illini and my husband is a Badger. 🙂
iwannatalktosampson February 4, 2012, 11:34 am
I bleed husker red. Unfortunately as of late, haha. What can ya do?
Rachel February 4, 2012, 4:42 pm
Penn State here 🙂 Woo Big Ten!
CatsMeow February 4, 2012, 11:51 am
I’ve tried to get into it for the sake of my boyfriends (past), but it just didn’t work. One thing I did like was that it gave me an excuse to day drink. And I did go to a Cardinals game last summer when my boo got free tickets. So I’m not, like, ANTI – I just don’t get the appeal.
iwannatalktosampson February 4, 2012, 12:34 pm
Yeah I think it’s a combination of if you grew up in a family that love sports and if you went to a college with a good or big sports team. Like I grew up in Lincoln Nebraska and the whole town shuts down on game day, like literally mall closing. So you can’t not be a fan. Plus my dad and brother were always into sports so there is now way I could have grown up indifferent. Although at least for football – I know I have gotten a few girl friends into the game just by explaining the rules and strategy.
trix February 6, 2012, 1:16 pm
Had to thumbs up a Husker fan!
katie February 4, 2012, 1:29 am
I get asked that too! I hate that question!
L February 4, 2012, 11:07 am
Soooo Brad…why don’t you like sports? 🙂 Ha.
I’m personally not all that into sports myself, except for baseball! I’m a huge Minnesota Twins fan. My boyfriend is a huge sports nut and is ALWAYS watching ESPN’s SportsCenter. I personally find ESPN pretty boring — seriously, how many times can you recap a game?? My dad on the other hand doesn’t understand sports at all, and whenever he is watching football or baseball he has to ask my mom what’s going on. It’s rather entertaining.
Valerie February 4, 2012, 11:29 am
I’m really not into any professional sports either except for baseball (I do love college sports though). I grew up watching baseball–I’m a HUGE White Sox fan! I’ve always had a lot of respect for the Twins though too (LOVE Joe Mauer!). Beautiful new stadium you all have–I’ve had the pleasure of visiting twice. 🙂
L February 4, 2012, 2:12 pm
You’re a White Sox fan? I guess we can’t be friends… I kid, of course — love a good rivalry! 🙂 Joe Mauer is my favorite both as a player and as a major celebrity crush. He’s such a hunk. Even though he’s engaged, I’m still convinced I’ll marry him…he just doesn’t know it yet!!! Ha. If only. Le sigh. I agree about our new stadium. I LOVE going to games there. Now if only they can actually WIN some more games this season. And when they do get to the playoffs this season, here’s hoping those damn Yankees don’t knock us out of the playoffs in the first round…again. I hate the Yankees.
cookiesandcream February 4, 2012, 1:30 pm
You’re definitely not alone with your football hate! I never got into the sport and I don’t understand the fuss surrounding it. I’m much more into tennis, and I was super bummed that I missed the Nadal/Djokovic Australian Open final. I wish the US broadcast the Australian Open because Federer and Nadal met up and I would have loved to see that. Oh well…. At least there are three more slams!
MissDre February 4, 2012, 2:38 pm
I hate football too! I think it’s the dumbest sport ever. That and baseball (sorry fans, it’s just how I feel). I like basketball but don’t really follow it. I used to LOVE hockey but I lost interest after the NHL strike a while back. I’m into UFC now, although I wouldn’t watch it without my bf. I don’t mind watching tennis. I suck at playing all sports though, so I participate on the couch 🙂
Ally February 4, 2012, 5:57 pm
That is my kind of participation! 🙂
Poicelle February 4, 2012, 7:07 pm
I also hate football!! I have tried a few times to get into it but…I’m sorry…I just do not get the appeal!!
Katie February 4, 2012, 11:00 pm
im really happy i am not alone in my hate of football!
i hate having to explain it to all of my coworkers, who are all almost all men…. they seriously treat it like a religion. one of the guys told me that has NEVER missed a superbowl. like, in his life. i dont even know how that happens! there is nothing i have never missed… and to do that for football?? lol i just dont get it. it is funny though, when they have bad days after the broncos lose badly… haha. i just laugh at them.
im super excited about my scrap-erbowl though! i just set up all my stuff on my kitchen table… yay!
MELH February 3, 2012, 7:40 pm
I’m super excited about the super bowl! Go Pats!
I’m from Cincinnati, and I have an uncle that lives in Indianapolis, so my husband and I are driving there tomorrow to experience all the super bowl madness. I’m really excited!
We’re not staying for the game, I have to go to a baby shower early Sunday afternoon. Then I’m going too go to my aunt and uncles for their sper bowl party. I’m hoping being around my family will prevent me from turning into a slightly too intense person. Last time the pats were in the super bowl I may have yelled at like 3 people who were taunting me about being nervous.
I will update if I see any celebs tomorrow!
LadyinPurpleNotRed February 3, 2012, 11:57 pm
yeah…I already warned my friends that I’m watching with that things could get intense…don’t mind any ferocious yelling that may come from my side of the room…nothing to be alarmed about!! I’m super jealous though, my dad’s cousin and great uncle are going to the game…sigh…maybe someday I’ll get to go…
Valerie February 4, 2012, 11:17 am
I live in Indy and things have been crazy around here!! We went to the Super Bowl madness on Tuesday and had a great time. We’re also going to try to brave the crowds today too. We’ll see how it goes! There have been celebrities all over the place, but I haven’t seen any up close (I did go to a live taping of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon though…). Definitely update if you spot any!!
As for the Super Bowl, I’ll be watching from the comfort of my neighborhood that is 6 miles north of downtown and all the insanity. 🙂
LadyinPurpleNotRed February 4, 2012, 11:19 am
I am SO JEALOUS!! I love Jimmy Fallon.
Katie February 4, 2012, 10:57 pm
i was totally watching that jimmy fallon! im assuming, i guess. i saw the one last night!! haha
MELH February 6, 2012, 10:08 am
Indy was awesome! It was crazy packed, I’m still amazed we managed to eat dinner at an actual restaurant! I did catch a glimpse of Jessica Simpson with her fiance, we almost got run over by the golf cart that was driving them through the crowds!
It was nice to be at my aunt and uncle’s for the super bowl, I was much less destructive after this game (no yelling at people, I didn’t break a TV remote…). Still not very happy with the outcome! I did enjoy seeing my cousin’s daughter, she’s in the repeat everything people say phase. My mom said “Sorry, dude” to my dad and she picked that up right away. I couldn’t get a go patriots out of her, but I think patriots might be too hard for her to say. So I managed to get a “defense” out of her and got her to say “gronk” with me.
Brad February 3, 2012, 11:30 pm
I’ll be on an airplane on Sunday. Assuming it leaves on schedule I will land roughly 30 minutes before the game starts, but I’m not into football so I don’t really care about it. I’ll probably be unpacking stuff into my hotel on Sunday night.
MissDre February 4, 2012, 8:48 am
I couldn’t care less about football but the man and I will hopefully be watching UFC 143!!! (if we can find it online on Sunday… definitely won’t be paying $60 for PPV)
Listen Wendy, we all love your site. That’s why we’re here everyday! Dear Wendy fans, if you love this site, help Wendy out by clicking the “share” buttons for Facebook/Twitter etc. or post links to your favourite articles. The more traffic Wendy gets, the more she can charge for ads and the easier it will be for her to make a living. So, tell your friends and share those links!
natasiarose February 4, 2012, 9:49 am
I’m going to Mario Batali’s restaurant “Babbo” on Sunday. Haha, I’ve been trying to get a reservation forever and because everyone will be watching the Superbowl I finally got in! I’m soooo excited!
jaybro February 4, 2012, 12:50 pm
OMG Mario Batali’s!?!?! I cannot express how jealous I am!!
cookiesandcream February 4, 2012, 1:33 pm
This Peanuts comic reminded me of this site:
http://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/2012/02/04
Elle February 4, 2012, 3:28 pm
Guys, I need a little pick me up.
A few months ago I dated a guy, A, and we were introduced by his coworker and my friend, J. J is having a super bowl party tomorrow, and both A and I are invited. A and I didn’t work out because he just got out of a relationship, he needed to get his shit together, and he did something that made me not trust him anymore. He didn’t try to restore the trust at all. We’re in the “friends zone” now, and last time we saw each other, before Christmas, we politely ignored one another. Now, I fell hard and fast for A. For the first time in a long time, I felt really attracted to a guy, and it broke my heart to cut things off, but I had to. While we were out last night, J mentioned that A will come to the party with his girl. I felt like I was punched in the stomach…. First thing that came into my mind was ‘why is he man enough for her, but couldn’t do it for me, just a few months ago?’. Since I’m really good friends with J, I want to go to his party. The thought of seeing A with another girl though, is not something I’m looking forward to (is she smarter than me? is she hotter than me? Knowing A she must be pretty great for him to date her….). Another thought I had: ‘A found someone else to deal with his bullshit’…. How do I focus on only the (very few) negative things about A?
To top things off, I have been dating another guy in January, but he wasn’t all there (he’d only see me on Wednesdays, and he wasn’t contacting me during weekends at all, only to tell me on Monday that he just stayed around the house all weekend. Really? Couldn’t take 2 minutes out of your lazy weekend to send me a text? I’m not even asking much, since we’re getting to know each other and all…). As of Thursday, this guy is history, and I found out about A yesterday!
I know I’ll be ok a while from now, but how do I deal with tomorrow? I’ll stay at J’s party only the first half, and go to my co-worker’s party for the second half. I made this plan before I found out about A’s new girl, and I’ll stick to it. Plus, at the other party there’s this guy, super funny, pretty cute, that I’ve liked for a long time and who seems to like me back, but who’s here until May, so he’s not looking to date seriously. At least I’ll get an ego stroke 🙂
My question, (btw, writing this has been very therapeutic, I feel better already), is that these guys, whose shit I’m not willing to tolerate, at least in the first month of dating, have had and will have long term relationships. Is there something wrong with me? How come other women are willing to put up with these guys’ BS? Do I need to change something about myslef? I don’t think that’s going to happen, or I would have done it by now. But I can’t help but wonder
(btw, A told me I’m intimidating…. asked to elaborate, he specified smart and self-assured. Now I’m insecure!)
Ally February 4, 2012, 6:29 pm
If you know what you want then that is a great thing. Plenty of people stay too long in relationships because they don’t know what they are and are not looking for. If you have this pinned down then you’re a step ahead of a lot of people. Don’t lower your standards or settle for less than you deserve because you haven’t met the right person, just keep looking! And for the record I really don’t think wanting to see the person you are dating more than once a week (and only on a weeknight!) is being demanding!
As for the intimidating thing, I have a friend who has been described similarly and in her case I understand, she’s gorgeous, intelligent and lovely too (in fact I might hate her on principle if I didn’t love her). She appears to be so confident that I think sometimes guys worry about approaching her, or being able to keep up with her, but she can’t understand it. You’ll find a guy who values these things about you, and he’ll be a keeper! In the meantime have a great time with the cutie at party #2, and smile and enjoy the company of friends at party #1 and don’t give ‘A’ a second thought, best reaction is to have a great time!
Elle February 4, 2012, 7:45 pm
Ally,
Thank you so much for reminding me. I got into a bit of a slump, with Valentine’s day two weeks from now, and I’m still single!!!! I find it’s so much easier for guys – they just have to ask a girl. (J’s got it down to a science – I think he has the phone number of half the girls in this town! And that’s why I will not date him haha).
January guy – I would have been (albeit reluctantly) ok with seeing him once a week, if he would have called me every once in a while, to make up for the other time we were not meeting. He never did. And the last week, I haven’t heard from him at all. Nothing. How are we supposed to get to know each other if we spend 4-5 hours a week together? The second week we were dating, I told him I declined a date with another guy, because I do these things one at a time (and usually guys expect a kiss at the end of the date, and I just can’t kiss a guy on Tuesday, and another on Wednesday!). So this Thursday I just sent him a text to let him know that I’m out.
I would think that people put forward their best behavior, at least in the first few months (I don’t know how many “few” is – I don’t seem to make it past one month 🙂 ). I will put up with a guy’s BS, eventually, but not a lot, and certainly not at the beginning.
On a fun note, the cute co-worker said something about going to Somalia to do some research. My first question was: can I come? I LOVE travelling, and I’ve wanted to go to Algiers since I was 14, after reading Camus, but I’ll swing by Somalia since it’s close by :). Ally, thanks for making me think happy thoughts about my very smart and funny co-worker!
FireStar February 4, 2012, 10:48 pm
I was told I was intimidating too – meh. My position was that if that was true then the guy was not man enough for me. I never toned my personality down or lowered my standards even though friends told me to. I’ll grant you that I had to end relationships because of it but I’m not someone who believes in settling. I ended up married to my husband – who is is not the slightest bit intimidated and would be all shades of confused if someone told him he should be. Being smart and self-assured is wonderful – surely you don’t want to be dumb and wishy-washy? And if that is who your ex would rather then good luck to him and his new girl. You need to not compare yourself to anyone though. He is not with her because she is prettier or sweeter or smarter than you. It actually has nothing to do with you. There was something missing between the two of you. There are a lot of men that would be perfect …if only he would change that one or two things…. but sadly almost perfect for you isn’t good enough. Enjoy flirting with the boy at the second party and don’t give the ex another thought – he clearly wasn’t the guy for you.
SpaceySteph February 5, 2012, 5:40 am
Any guy who will tell a girl she’s intimidating like its a bad thing is a total douchenozzle. Period. Its 4:30 in the morning and I’ve been at work since 11pm, so maybe that’s why I’m feeling beligerent (and not very eloquent besides)… but yeah. Calling a woman intimidating is a lie to cover up how pathetic and unfulfilled you are by your own life, so that having an awesome woman makes you feel badly about yourself. By the way, if awesome women intimidate him, then she’s probably not as awesome as you are building her up to be, or else he would have called her intimidating and run away.
As for the other question, I am of two thoughts:
1. There’s a match for every person. You two didn’t match, maybe they do. And if a guy is not your match, good for you for not hanging on to him.
2. Or, he really is a douchenozzle and she just hasn’t figured it out yet.
Elle February 5, 2012, 11:57 am
Steph, I don’t think he told me I’m intimidating like it’s a bad thing. I took it to mean that I’m a bitch (initially), but I know that I’m not. I did turn bitchy after he failed to keep his promise, so give me a reason and I’ll show you bitchy!
During the “break-up”, he would tell me that I’m amazing, that he’s happy he had the chance to meet such a great person, and I was like, WTF? Why won’t you keep your promises to me then? Honestly, I don’t trust him with my sandwich at this point. I think he actually meant that he’s intimidated by me, not that all men forever and ever will find me intimidating :). So yeah, it bothers me that he’s choosing to keep his promises to other people but not to me. Actually, I shouldn’t be so sure of it! Maybe other people let him get away with it! Oh well, I hope there’s someone else out there like me, who only makes promises he knows he can keep.
FireStar, you made me chuckle with your comment: “There are a lot of men that would be perfect …if only he would change that one or two things…” I learned the hard way that people don’t change. Either take them as they are (deal with their BS), or move on if you think you can’t put up with their BS. I’ve been MOAing quite a lot, but no regrets.
Thanks for your kind words, girls, I woke up smiling this morning. Wendy, thanks for keeping the Weekend Open Thread!
painted_lady February 5, 2012, 12:58 pm
As someone who talked herself into dating below her standards once, trust me, it ISN’T worth it. It’s easy to feel like you’re being too picky, what with guys telling you you’re intimidating – whether he meant it “nicely” or not, the thing that ultimately boils down to is “If you were quieter about how pretty, successful and smart you are, you’d have more dates.” – and friends who are willing to excuse bad behavior on the part of the men you date – if I heard “Maybe he’s just busy” one more time about a man who was canceling dates, not calling back, or just didn’t seem all that interested in actually spending time around me, I was gonna scream. Seriously, unless you are letting guys go the first week out based on the behavior you mentioned, or you’re guilty of finding other silly “flaws” in a man’s personality, like doesn’t enjoy sushi or favorite band is Primus, you are NOT being too picky. My mom had, for several years, hinted that I was both intimidating and too picky, and so more or less to prove her wrong, I started dating The Vegan, and I kept dating him despite the fact that I was only sort of a fun option when he happened to be free, sober, not tired, and in the right mood. My mom saying I was too picky had convinced me that I was being silly for having things like needs and standards, so I quit listening to all my instincts. When he dumped me, my self-esteem was completely destroyed. Trust your instincts – you have them for a reason.
Elle February 6, 2012, 1:28 am
Follow up – I made it! I got to the party early, so it was just me, J and another guy for a while. Then people started showing up. My heart did jump a couple of times when there was a knock on the door, but there were other people, so by the time A came with his girl, I was alright. I couldn’t look at them for a while though, and I kept sipping beer and chuckling with the guy sitting next to me. A girl brought 2 brownies on a plate, and put them between the guy next to me and me. I didn’t want a brownie, and that’s when A said I should get one. I said I don’t mix beer and sweets (BS, but he’s the last person whose suggestion I’d take), and I don’t know if I heard it right, but I think A made them.
Now the girl…. she’s nice. A bit skinnier than me, different body type, but similar to me in attitude (I think). No make-up, seemed unpretentious and outgoing. I had the advantage there, as I already knew almost everyone. I was probably rude that I didn’t introduce myself to her, but she didn’t either, although we talked for a tiny bit.
And my funny co-worker didn’t make it to the other party (long story, but totally legit). But I was so happy when I left J’s place! I don’t know if it was because I was proud of myself for handling it (it had to happen sooner or later, and sooner sounded better), or if it was the pot some girls were smoking in a corner :).
And now the weird part: 3 years ago I dated 4 guys. With each of them I had 3-4 dates, and now, three years later, they’re still with the girls they met right after they dated me. Two couples are married, one of them is still going strong (FB!), and I don’t know about the 4th one, since he’s not on FB, but they were still going strong about a year ago, when I last saw them. My last LTR is still with the girl he started dating right after me – about a year and a half. And then I stopped adding on FB the guys I briefly dated :). I’m a good omen, apparently (/sarcasm – i know correlation and causation are different things). I can’t say “I don’t meet guys ready for commitment”, it’s just that I wasn’t feeling it with any of those guys (except for my LTR, at the time – now I see it was a good choice, and I’m glad it happened, although it hurt so bad back then).
Need to get some sleep now, but I wanted to thank you again for putting me back on track – I’m sure I’ll start tomorrow smiling as well!
SpaceySteph February 6, 2012, 3:53 am
Haha you’re Good Luck Chuck!
Kidding. Glad you survived. And I’m not sure if you can get a second-hand high… someone should do an experiment!
sarita_f February 6, 2012, 2:55 pm
I call the phenomenon you describe in your second-to-last paragraph as “husband-fluffing.”. We’ve ALL been there, you’ll pass the torch soon enough!
And glad that you made it through the party :-).
Elle February 6, 2012, 11:38 pm
haha, sarita_f, promise I’ll pass the torch? yeah, I know my guy is right around the corner, I have yet to find the corner 😉
@steph – it could have also been the beer! too many variables 🙂
Jillie Z February 4, 2012, 4:10 pm
Thank you for keeping Open Thread! I think the number of things you post is amazing, Wendy, and frankly i struggle to keep up some weeks, so if you slow down because you need to take a break, go for it and don’t feel guilty or stressed – you obviously have more than enough going on. I hope you’re able to get the PT childcare… it seems like it’s such a huge help for my mom friends. As some others have mentioned, getting cleaning help when you can fit it in the budget is huge too – i think it’s saved my marriage because i like a clean house but when no one’s home to clean, that cat hair builds up!!
I am SO excited for the Superbowl! i love eating a ton and this year i am rooting against Tom Brady and for Eli since i’m a Colts fan and he’s Peyton’s brother. i had a crazy week too – started a new job and worked a bunch of overtime already, so it’s nice to chill out this weekend. i made a bunch of dishes for this coming week, am going to see my 4 1/2 mo niece (who just started rolling over also, Wendy!), and going out with the girls tonight for Ethiopian food.
Our Chicago DW meet up is coming up soon too, and i’m stoked!!
evanscr05 February 6, 2012, 8:13 am
Why, hello, fellow Colts fan!!! How much did you love last night??? 🙂 The combined power of the Mannings + Indy could not allow a Pats Super Bowl win! Though, my Pats fan husband was none too pleased.
Jiggs February 5, 2012, 2:13 pm
No Wendy, you’re definitely not a mommy blogger. Daring to have a child and not completely ignore his existence in your blog doesn’t make you a mommy blogger. Rest assured. 🙂
cdubs February 6, 2012, 11:54 am
I just want to say, I’m so excited the Giants won! Go Giants!!