I read an article the other day on the Huffington Post where women in their 40s share with women in their 20s the wisdom they gained from terrible breakups. The words of wisdom are great — “Like yourself more than you need someone to like you.” “Jealousy is not a form of love, it’s a form of control.” “Don’t confuse attraction with love.” — but do women really need to reach 40 before they can dispense, let alone gain, wisdom like that? I think not, otherwise my career as an advice columnist in her mid-30s is pretty screwed. No, I think regardless of your age, there are lots of lessons to be learned from messy — and even not so messy — breakups, and I’d love it if you would share some of the lessons you’ve learned. Please email me or share in the comments what those lessons are and I’ll do a roundup of the best responses in a future post. To get things started, here are the top three things I’ve learned from breakups past:
1. Being in a lonely relationship is far lonelier than just being alone.
2. Knowing exactly what I want and exactly what I’m worth makes it much harder to settle for anything less.
3. The end of sex in a relationship is usually the last thing to go and it’s always a symptom of something that’s wrong.