Yes, we’re going to talk some more about wedding gifts, the topic that just keeps on giving and giving. On Monday, an editor-in-chief of a local newspaper received a letter from a reader asking for advice on how to handle a situation involving “a wedding gift, the recipients’ reaction and the rapidly escalating conversation that followed.” The LW had recently attended a former co-worker’s wedding with a plus-one and brought as a gift a “a wicker box with a hinged lid, filled with food items, most of them PC Black Label, including: tri-color pasta, salsas, Balsamic vinegar and Olive, Gourmet croutons, Panko Breading, Pesto, some baking ingredients, Biscuits from Godiva and a few ‘Fun’ items like Marshmallow Fluff, Sour Patch Kids and Butterscotch sauce.” On the card, she wrote: “Life is delicious….Enjoy.” Cute, right? Well, apparently the brides did not think so. In fact, they had a few choice words to say about their basket of Fluff, which resulted in a heated exchange of texts, the full transcript of which you can read below.
Bride #1:
“Heyyy I just wanna say thanks for the gift but unfortunately I can’t eat any of it lol I’m gluten intolerant. Do u maybe have a receipt”
I mean, can you even imagine??
Gift-Giver, who watched both brides eat plates of gluten-filled pasta just weeks earlier at the restaurant where he works:
“Ahh shit! Really!? We had a great time. Thank you again for allowing us to be a part of the celebration.”
Translation: Go fuck yourself.
(Next morning) Bride #2:
“I want to thank you for coming to the wedding Friday. I’m not sure if it’s the first wedding you have been to, but for your next wedding… People give envelopes. I lost out on $200 covering you and your dates plate… And got fluffy whip and sour patch kids in return. Just a heads up for the future 🙂 “
OH. SNAP.
Gift-Giver’s head explodes, he emails this reply:
“Hi , I want to tell you how incredibly insulted I am in both of the messages you have sent me over the last two days. (Bride 1), I am sorry that you have intolerance to Gluten, I am sure that makes life difficult at times. However, to ask for a receipt is unfathomable. In fact it was incredibly disrespectful. It was the rudest gesture I have encountered, or even heard of. That is until you, Laura, messaged me today.
Laura, the message you sent to me today was by far the most inconsiderate, immature, greedy, and asinine thing I have ever had the displeasure of seeing.
This is not even close to being the first wedding I have attended, and actually I have done a lot of research on wedding etiquette, a step in the process the two of you clearly skipped over (clearly displayed by Laura chewing gum, like a cow does hay, while walking down the aisle). Here is some help for you..just a heads up for the future.
The Bride’s Etiquette Guide: Etiquette Made Easy, Second Edition.
Too bad you didn’t read this, or any other etiquette guide prior to your “big day”. In respect to this particular topic, I would turn your attention to pages 147-149. I am sure you will not bother to follow this link, so I will fill you in. Not only is it wrong to have an expectation of any sort of gift, it is the ultimate insult to your family and friends to mention a gift of monetary value at all, let alone be so boorish to message someone with your disappointment in said gift. Also, you should never host a party that you cannot afford, or expect your guests to pay for it. On that note, I seriously doubt that you had an expense of $100/plate. If you did, you were taken for a ride.
In retrospect, this is the exact style of behavior I should have expected from the two of you, when you used the gift card donated to your doe and doe for a personal date night, then had the gall to ask your server for the “friends and family discount”.
I’m sure that one, or the two of you will mature, and grow into adults who will take a different, more respectful, LOVE based approach when you invite guests to your next wedding.”
DAAYUMMMN. He said $100 a plate for that shit they served at the wedding was a RIP OFF.
Bride #1 texts:
Again… Out of 210 people at a wedding… The only I gift I got from all was yours… And fluffy whip and sour patch kids. Your Facebook message had nothing to do with the gift. Weddings are to make money for your future.. Not to pay for peoples meals. Do more research. People haven’t gave gifts since like 50 years ago! You ate steak, chicken, booze, and a beautiful venue. To be exact the plates were $97 a person… But thanks again for the $30 gift basket my wife can’t even eat. If anything you should be embarrassed for being so cheap and embarrassing yourself walking in with a gift basket probably re gifted cheap ass. Again.. Out of 210 people, you were the talk and laugh of the whole wedding!!!! Worst gift ever story Is being passed along to everyone!! How about you tell people what you gave as a 2 person gift to a wedding and see what normal functioning people say about it!! Do a survey with people u know… And tell me what 100% of them tell you!! Wake up dude
Got it, everyone? People “have not gave gifts since like 50 years ago!” You serve steak, chicken and booze in a beautiful wedding and you deserve cold hard CASH to start your future. EVERYONE KNOWS THIS! Just survey the people you know. You’ll see!! Chicken and booze = CASH IN AN ENVELOPE. Marshmallow fluff my ass.
Gift-Giver:
it’s obvious you have the etiquette of a twig, I couldn’t care less of what you think about the gift you received, “normal” people would welcome anything given, you wanna have a party, you pay for it, DON’T expect me to, I don’t care what you or anybody thinks, you should just be happy your sham of a marriage is legal dude!
Well, that’s not cool.
Bride #1:
Lol. Your an idiot. Go research more on life
You should have been cut from the list.. I knew we were gunna get a bag of peanuts.. I was right
Well, that’s not fair. She got gourmet croutons, too…
Gift-Giver:
Never argue with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. – George Carlon.
You just proved this to be true.
Oh, I fucking love George Carlon. Nice.
Bride #1:
Thanks for the fluffy whip :). Have a good day
Well, that was polite.
[via The Spec]
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kerrycontrary June 20, 2013, 12:42 pm
“Weddings are to make money for your future.. Not to pay for peoples meals. Do more research. People haven’t gave gifts since like 50 years ago!”–so THIS is why Elizabeth Taylor got married a bajillion times. I would love to know how much money they “made” off of that charity gala, excuse me, wedding.
theattack June 20, 2013, 1:31 pm
I always think that’s a ridiculous statement on a practical level. Weddings are expensive, and people don’t give gifts that are generous enough to make up that tab, and they absolutely shouldn’t either.
Full disclosure: We ended up spending probably about 18K on our wedding. We received a very generous $1500 in cash, and most of our physical gifts were in the $30-40 price range per family. We definitely did not come close to making money off of our wedding, and even if we did, I can’t use my new crockpot to pay the DJ.
6napkinburger June 20, 2013, 1:33 pm
but imagine if you could! barter your way to a cheap wedding!! I’m going to make millions!
theattack June 20, 2013, 1:42 pm
Haha, I love it.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 1:38 pm
I wonder the stats on weddings that make a profit v. those that don’t.
katie June 20, 2013, 1:42 pm
and then those stats vs. divorce rates
theattack June 20, 2013, 1:45 pm
I bet very few weddings make a profit. Realistically even if your friends and family are wealthier than mine and spend more on gifts, it’s hard to compete with $18k. For a wedding with 150 guests, every guest would have to spend $120 just to come out even. That’s per person, not per family. I don’t know many people who can afford that. And most weddings that are less expensive have fewer guests to give gifts.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 1:49 pm
My close friends who have married (4 of them) ALL made a profit. I think in my area though, gifts are much bigger than in yours. Generally, each guest seems to give at least $100, so if it were a couple, $200. When I bring Peter and the kid, we’re up to $300 minimum. That seems to be the going rate around here.
It also depends on if parents are helping pay or not. If your wedding cost $20k, but your parents chipped in half, its be unlikely you wouldn’t profit around here. Some of my friends have profits in the 10s of thousands, believe it or not.
theattack June 20, 2013, 1:53 pm
Holy crap… Clearly I’m living in the wrong part of the country. I’m going to assume that your area is probably on the extreme end of profiting though. That’s a lot.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 1:56 pm
Well to be fair, 2 out of the 4 had parents chip in for at least half, but that seems to be very common here, so I guess its another reason most end with a profit. I mean, if your parents are paying for 100% of it, its impossible not to make a profit.
I have to assume my area is in the high end of the scale. It was surprising to read most of your gifts were in the $30-40 range. Just goes to show how different things are from region to region. I definitely believe that most couples in my area factor in that they will have a LOT of money after their wedding for a house or whatever.
mandalee June 20, 2013, 2:27 pm
$100/person sounds about right. When I was younger and a student, I definitely gave less, but that seems to be the average where I live too.
GatorGirl June 20, 2013, 1:49 pm
What we experienced was a few VERY generous guests and most where more in the $80 to $100 cash range. So if you take out the few wildly generous gifts- we’d be more inline with you.
theattack June 20, 2013, 1:59 pm
We did have several gifts in the $80-100 range too, but probably more in the $30-40. All the shower gifts were probably about $30 too.
Also, now that I’m thinking about it, we had several guests who didn’t show up and left us with about $1000 in uneaten catering, so I guess if you subtract that cost, we really “made” $500.
mandalee June 20, 2013, 2:06 pm
Yeah, I don’t get how people make a profit for their wedding. Our wedding was 18K and we made about 10K. Our guests were extremely generous, and we didn’t even come close or plan on coming close. And even if guests “cover their plate” (I hate that phrase, that doesn’t cover all the additional costs, photography, cake, etc.
I jsut can’t even how either of those brides thought their actions were okay. Public shaming a guest’s gift and then harassing them over it? I mean, WOW.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 2:14 pm
Re cover the plate. But isn’t that all they should be “covering?” Like, you want the pictures, not them, so if someone’s going by the cover your plate rule, then I can’t think of other expenses like photography that they would cover. The rule isn’t supposed to cover the entire expense of the wedding, its only supposed to cover the part that they benefited from. Cake I guess would be one, haha.
mandalee June 20, 2013, 2:26 pm
I worded it wonky the first time, but I hate the term “cover your plate” because it assume the guests should re-pay the bride and groom for hosting them.
And as a separate thought, that even if your guests are really generous and cover their cost of the plate, like these brides assumed their guests should do, you still have all these other costs to cover so I mean you shouldn’t approach your wedding as a money making event. Does that make sense? l’m running on no sleep but there’s a coherent thought in there somewhere I swear lol
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 2:29 pm
Totally makes sense!
kerrycontrary June 20, 2013, 2:32 pm
They’re also benefiting from the DJ, venue, setting (i.e. flowers). And then drinks if those aren’t included in the per plate cost. BUT I hate the idea that a guest should have to cover the cost of their attendance. If you can’t afford for someone to come to your wedding without them paying you back then don’t invite them.
muffy June 20, 2013, 10:33 pm
yeah – unless it’s a charity event people shouldn’t be paying for a ticket so that they can celebrate the greatness of you and your new spouse. seriously I think if brides/grooms said “you can give us all the money we spent to recoup our costs or you can not come to the wedding” most people would choose not coming – I sure would!
bethany June 20, 2013, 2:13 pm
Our cash gifts ranged from $30-$4000. Most were in the $75-200 range.
I was blown away by how generous people were.
**the 4K was from my parents. They said that whatever was leftover in the “wedding fund” was ours to keep as a gift.
muffy June 20, 2013, 10:30 pm
not to mention the fact that a lot of guests have to incur expenses in order to attend the wedding – if they are from out of town they have to fly in, pay for a hotel etc… and if they’re a bridesmaid well forget it lol. I’m a bridesmaid in a friends wedding coming up and not only have I had to contribute to a bachelorette party (which I could not attend) but I’m expected to pay for part of her bridal shower (which again I cannot attend), on top of the dress, shoes and then flying in and staying at a hotel. Oh and also getting a gift. And the engagement party presents etc.. it’s stressful! Sometimes I wish everyone would just elope so I dont have to go to their weddings lol
Jessibel5 June 20, 2013, 2:02 pm
Did you ever see the “MTV True Life” episode about the Guido/Guidette getting married, where they spent a ridiculous amount of money. The groom was constantly throwing fits (and I think actually threatened to kill the limo driver for being late) and in the very end the epilogue text was like “The monetary gifts given at the wedding were not enough to make up for its cost” I caught it one day and have remembered it all these years later because I remember thinking “so, don’t have a wedding you can’t pay for?”
GatorGirl June 20, 2013, 2:15 pm
There is this Bravo show, Newlyweds, and the one couple adds up all the monetary gifts. They cashed in about $40,000. I guess in their community (Long Branch, NJ and primarily Greek) giving $400 or $500 is custom? The whole counting it up and them saying “Oh Uncle Joe was feeling cheap today” just made me sick.
Jessibel5 June 20, 2013, 2:27 pm
In my experience Greeks are big on BIG gifts. (One of my best friends is Greek and I just went to her baby’s christening last week…you would have thought it was a wedding! HUGE reception, hundreds of people, DJ, the whole 9)
You know how in My Big Fat Greek Wedding the dad bought them a house? That’s pretty typical.
FORTY THOUSAND?! I’ve never even seen that much money in one place at one time in my life!
Christy June 20, 2013, 2:33 pm
You know, my great uncle is half Greek, and his 45th wedding anniversary party was incredible. Just the best party. Like a wedding reception, but only the good bits. So classy, and so fun.
strippedheels June 20, 2013, 2:58 pm
I don’t know if its a Greek thing, but I’m from near there and we usually give about 100 a person for a wedding. So, if one family brought 2 adults and 2 kids to the party 400 isnt that unsual.
Tomorrow I’m going to my cousin’s Sweet 16. I’m giving her $100 for me and my boyfriend, and that will probably be considered cheap.
strippedheels June 20, 2013, 2:58 pm
Also, we aren’t Greek, forgot to mention that.
Jessibel5 June 20, 2013, 3:22 pm
That doesn’t sound all that off for that area either. Lots of money in North Jersey, NYC, Long Island, Westchester area and people often give huge gifts and have huge parties.
I can only attest to the Greek thing as I’ve seen it happen with my friend’s family. For her wedding her dad paid the down payment on their condo and put her name on the deed of the family restaurant.
bethany June 20, 2013, 2:18 pm
I totally remember that!! I think about that episode every time someone mentions trying to “make back the money” at the wedding.
Jessibel5 June 20, 2013, 2:32 pm
Guyz, guyz, I’m so good at the internets! Look what I found!
Jessibel5 June 20, 2013, 2:33 pm
AND HOLY SHIZZNIZZLE SHE LOOKS OLD! Ladies, this is what fake and bake will do to you!
bethany June 20, 2013, 2:49 pm
I’m shocked that they’re still together!
strippedheels June 20, 2013, 2:59 pm
I worked their kid’s birthday party.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 3:01 pm
I’m sorry, but I read your name as stripperinheels and then read your comment and almost spit my drink out.
Jessibel5 June 20, 2013, 3:23 pm
I read it as that too and was like “why am I not surprised they had a stripper at their kid’s party?” No offense, Stripped! I just misread your name!
Jessibel5 June 20, 2013, 3:24 pm
Are they nice? Lots of people who have said they have met them say they are very nice and the guy has a really great sense of humor about what a ragey character he was.
kerrycontrary June 20, 2013, 3:44 pm
I always think of that episode. I wonder if that couple is still together. Probably not. I think they spent 40K on their wedding and they got like 17K in gifts, if that. They couldn’t afford to go on a honeymoon.
Pamplemousse Rose June 20, 2013, 2:10 pm
We spent $11,500 on our wedding for 140 people. My FIL paid the liquor tab of about $3000. We were mainly given cash gifts, with a handful of physical gifts (but we didn’t register either). I would guess most people gave gifts in the $100 range/invitation, with a few extreme outliers (3 in the $500+) People who traveled (understandably) tended to give less or not at all (horror!!) I’d say we received about $7500 in cash, gift cards and gifts – completely astounded by the generosity…
GatorGirl June 20, 2013, 1:46 pm
I totally want to try to pay our remaining balances with my extra crock pot!! (Just to be safe, I’m obviously joking)
It is interesting how different the gifting is. We received substantially more than that in cash gifts and most gifts hovered around the $100+ range. Fascinating how different “normal” is.
theattack June 20, 2013, 1:50 pm
Yeah, the gift range for weddings in my family is a lot lower than the average, I think. Probably because there are about 20 kids of marrying age on just one side of my family, so that means a huge number of our guests are spread thin with gifting. Not to mention most of my extended family members struggle financially. It’s just our norm. My husband’s family members all gave closer to $150 (except his parents who bought us 8 china place settings, holy crap), but his family is much smaller and much better off than mine.
Shauni June 22, 2013, 4:28 am
What? Wait…. What???
In my part of the world, no one is expected to ‘give’ enough to cover ANYTHING. The wedding is a celebration of two people starting a life together. The funds are provided by either the couple, or the parents of the two. In no way are the guests supposed to pay for anything! If you don’t have enough to cover. Big wedding, then don’t. That a bride or groom would expect you to pay for part of the wedding or reception is just wrong and in bad taste. You were invited for your supposedly closeness with the couple, not to help pay!!!! That’s so wrong, unless you were specifically asked to do do so.
Tinywormhole June 20, 2013, 12:46 pm
Facepalm
Christy June 20, 2013, 12:47 pm
I just want to say, it makes me SUPER happy that it’s two brides and like, it’s not even mentioned or anything like that. Like, yup, two brides. NBD. Crazy, definitely, but both women? Don’t care.
Progress.
Addie Pray June 20, 2013, 2:04 pm
OH SHIT. The whole time I was thinking – wow, what are the odds, he got invited to TWO weddings, gave a weird gift basket to both, and BOTH brides went nuts. My brain is a) slow and b) a product of my society. Sucks.
bittergaymark June 20, 2013, 2:53 pm
Two bad they are both so utterly tacky and classless. But then, I’ve always said that not enough lesbians have ever attended finishing school…
Copa June 20, 2013, 1:05 pm
“Your an idiot. Go research more on life”
Made me laugh aloud. 😀
Taylor June 20, 2013, 2:22 pm
Right? I cringe when I see insults incorporated with something missing a conjugation.
Grilledcheesecalliope June 20, 2013, 5:01 pm
I hate “do more research” as an insult. It’s like people are crowdsourcing their behavior on Yahoo answers and then judging others based on that.
GatorGirl June 20, 2013, 1:06 pm
Both of these people are beyond rude.
I do think including Fluff was a little strange, but I would NEVER ever say something to the giver. Write a nice thank you and move on.
Taylor June 20, 2013, 2:26 pm
So, my oldest friend just got engaged and is having a small, family only wedding, in a different country early next year. My planned gift to her – a case of marshmallow fluff. When we were kids, you couldn’t get it in our home country, so it was this insanely coveted treat when someone would bring it from the states. Her Mom was an American, and would have family mail it to her at Christmas every year so that she could make fudge. My friend ate an entire bottle one night, and had to suffer the wrath of her whole family. Anyway, I thought I was being all creative with this gift idea…
Liquid Luck June 20, 2013, 2:44 pm
That sounds like an awesome gift, especially since it’s so personal! For out first Christmas together, my boyfriend gave me a case of Dunkaroos (they were my favorite when I was younger). I’m pretty sure that was the exact moment I fell in love.
GatorGirl June 20, 2013, 3:11 pm
I think that’s a million times different though- it’s a logical personal touch because y’all have a back story. Just a random container of fluff…I would be perplexed too.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 3:13 pm
But it wasn’t a random container of fluff…it was a gift basket in the truest form. I wouldn’t be perplexed receiving a gift basket, I mean, half the name tells you its a gift.
GatorGirl June 20, 2013, 3:45 pm
Well, I think the tone was set with the nice basket and high end pasta/sauces etc- then to throw in a cheapy thing like fluff and sour patch kids…I mean those are childrens items. One could even create a desert basket that included fluff that was appropriate, maybe ice cream bowls, sprinkles, different sauces etc. But a few random, cheap sweets in an otherwise pretty nice, upscale basket…that’s weird.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 3:48 pm
Idk, seemed like a full meal to me. I’d include desserts in a meal gift basket.
Taylor June 20, 2013, 3:15 pm
Along with other tasty bits though? They seemed really focused on the sweet stuff, it sounded like it was a whole spread. I agree though, a jar of fluff sans backstory or other foods would be a little weird.
Addie Pray June 20, 2013, 1:13 pm
Thanks, Wendy, now I have partially-digested kale-smoothie all over my keyboard! … My fault though, I had an inkling I would not like it but read the email exchange anyway. Those kind of brides are dealbreakers in life. I don’t want them as friends, neighbors, or coworkers; I don’t even want to see them. I wouldn’t mind it if we could round them all up and stick them in a state we don’t care for, I don’t care which, just not Illinois, and then let them secede from the union.
(Confession, I had to Google “secede” and I’m still not sure it’s right.)
cdobbs June 20, 2013, 1:23 pm
just please don’t send them to Canada!
Christy June 20, 2013, 1:36 pm
The brides WERE Canadian! I’m pretty sure anyway.
Pamplemousse Rose June 20, 2013, 1:52 pm
Yes – Hamilton, Ontario (the local paper linked above).
Cara June 20, 2013, 2:00 pm
You can tell by the reference to PC Black label products (which, in my opinion, are actually pretty nice!).
CG June 20, 2013, 1:33 pm
I think the brides and guest in this story are in Ontario? Sorry! 🙂
Addie Pray June 20, 2013, 1:58 pm
Hahaha I’m so happy they’re Canadian – sowwy, Canadians.
Doodles June 20, 2013, 1:13 pm
These people were rude, disrespectful and have their heads up their asses! I am by far repulsed by the lack of manners on the part of the couples. Weddings are a day for celebration of two people coming together, not to make money. This is uderly disgusting. The guest was right, they should not have used their wedding guest as piggy banks. They might as well wrote in the invites ” if you are not giving a ton of money do not bother showing up.” And I can garentee no one would have.
Turtledove June 20, 2013, 1:14 pm
See, and this is why I got out of the wedding business…
Both of them were rude. The brides were certainly the rudest– someone gives you a gift you don’t like? You thank them and move on. Frankly, I wish more people gave strange wedding gifts. One of my husband’s friends gave us this milano glass statue that looks a lot like an orange penis with one blue ball. We took it on our honeymoon and posed with it in all our photographs. Because that’s the proper response to a strange gift.
Also, it’s responses like those that make people not want to give gifts. My mom does that kind of stuff if a gift disappoints her and I hate hate hate hate hate having to figure out presents for her. I’ve started just giving her a gift card, even though I hate doing that because I hate getting scolded for buying her the wrong thing more.
katie June 20, 2013, 1:43 pm
“Because that’s the proper response to a strange gift” — i love it! haha
othy June 20, 2013, 2:03 pm
One of my friends gave me a s’more making kit, with a little fake fire maker and plastic ‘branch’ skewers, along with a supply of chocolate/marshmellows/graham crackers. Awesomest gift ever!
applescruffs June 20, 2013, 3:50 pm
That is AMAZING. I love that!
artsygirl June 20, 2013, 1:16 pm
I would have loved a present like that and honestly in all the dozens of weddings I have been to, I would say there are only a few were I gave money rather than a physical gift. I think the two brides seem like major divas and are hopefully ashamed by their actions now that it is made the news.
FancyPants June 20, 2013, 2:23 pm
I know right? I got married in September and received a nice wicker basket with some craft beers, a box of local chocolates and some jams and spreads from a friend and his wife. I thought it was quite nice of them and we really enjoyed the gift.
GatorGirl June 20, 2013, 2:26 pm
We got gifted a basket too filled with towels and I LOVE the basket. Maybe more than the towels, haha.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 1:17 pm
Proof that people think so long as you add a cute 🙂 after the bitchiest comment ever, it makes it all ok.
I would’ve told them its gluten free fluff and to eat it all up quickly.
artsygirl June 20, 2013, 4:13 pm
I wonder if it will replace “No offense…” which inevitably is followed by the most offensive statement possible.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 4:15 pm
Ah yes, good point artsy.
No offense, but you really smell bad 🙂 🙂
Bittergaymark June 20, 2013, 1:27 pm
Tacky gift. But far, far tackier reaction. I’m sorry. But I would think that was a regift. It screams regift. And at least pick a decent candy… 😉
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 1:29 pm
I will not tolerate the implication that Sour Patch Kids are not the greatest candy ever. This might be your most offensive post yet Mr. BGM.
MissDre June 20, 2013, 1:43 pm
My boyfriend is OBSESSED with sour patch kids!
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 1:50 pm
My daughter just emailed me a list of toppings for her cupcake party. You can guess what was first on that list!
Liquid Luck June 20, 2013, 2:48 pm
Mine too! I get him a big bag of them for pretty much every holiday we celebrate with gifts.
AKchic_ June 20, 2013, 3:46 pm
I love Sour Patch Kids. And Skittles. When I was pregnant with my second son, I was craving sour things and they have just come out with Sour Skittles. I was so happy. Sour Skittles, chocolate milkshakes and cheeseburgers. Those were my go-to foods.
MMcG June 21, 2013, 12:22 pm
I LOVE sour patch kids watermelons… I could eat them for days.
Lindsay June 20, 2013, 1:43 pm
Sour Patch Kids are so delicious! Maybe I should put them on a wedding registry one day…
Bittergaymark June 20, 2013, 1:48 pm
Ewwwww. Sour Patch kids or vomiticious!! All of you are MAD, I say. MAD…
MsMisery June 20, 2013, 2:01 pm
I agree. Sour Patch Kids are totes gross.
Jessibel5 June 20, 2013, 2:18 pm
I’m not a fan either, but I do enjoy me some Gummi Bears!
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 2:20 pm
I have to eat 2 at once. One for each side of my mouth. Anyone else do that?
othy June 20, 2013, 2:56 pm
I do. Different flavors. Favorite combo? Green and yellow. Then you suck on them to absorb all of the deliciousness.
SpaceySteph June 20, 2013, 4:10 pm
I do this with M&Ms.
bittergaymark June 20, 2013, 2:56 pm
Gummi Bears. Mike & Ikes. Juju Fruits. Dots (gum drops). Or ANY form of Black Licorice would all have been much more acceptable.
PS: Try FROZEN gummi bears on a hot day. Pop ’em in the freezer. I know, I know… this sounds idiotic. I scoffed, too… until I tried it. 🙂
othy June 20, 2013, 2:57 pm
Ooh, Mike and Ikes are hands down my favorite.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 2:58 pm
I thought it was cute how they “divorced” and got back together.
Jessibel5 June 20, 2013, 2:59 pm
What?! I thought that I was the only one who did that…I am so happy to hear someone else does too! I also freeze Hershey Milk Chocolate bars, I think they taste better.
gillociraptor June 20, 2013, 9:28 pm
Melt them, and then freeze them! It’s like another food entirely.
bethany June 20, 2013, 2:22 pm
My favorite are the sour worms. The Trolli Sour Brite Crawlers, to be exact. YUM.
CG June 20, 2013, 1:45 pm
Yeah, I would never in a million years consider that an appropriate gift to give someone for their wedding (even if it *did* contain “fancy oils and salsas”). But the brides’ reaction is insane. Just snicker to each other, write your thank you note and get the fuck over it.
Jessibel5 June 20, 2013, 2:21 pm
Maybe I’m weird, and maybe I’m wrong, but the sense I’m getting from this story was that they were “fringe” friends, and…I think if he was a fringe friend of hers (not someone she has any strong connection to or hangs out with all the time) then I don’t think that this gift is really all that inappropriate.
And really, they had already had a “doe and doe” party, and in Canada aren’t those traditionally to raise money for the cost of the wedding? (Please correct me if I’m wrong, brothers and sisters to the north!) So, they already got money and now want more and are complaining that they got a gift basket?
Copa June 20, 2013, 2:23 pm
What are “doe and doe” parties? I’ve never heard of this…?
Pamplemousse Rose June 20, 2013, 2:35 pm
Local businesses sometimes donate door prizes for them, which are supposed to be raffled off to attendees, not kept by the brides for a date night as mentioned above.
Jessibel5 June 20, 2013, 2:39 pm
That actually makes them even ruder, with that part of the story explained! Thank you for the cultural education 🙂 The only thing I know about Canada is what I learned from How I Met Your Mother, Strange Brew, and my trip to Quebec City. Then to add to my confusion, I was promptly informed that Quebec City is just DIFFERENT from the rest of Canada and not to judge Canada based on my experiences there, kind of like going to France and how Paris is NOT what most of France is like.
MMcG June 21, 2013, 12:28 pm
The loony bin or the brewery, eh?
Taylor June 20, 2013, 2:53 pm
Thanks for clearing that up! I thought it was a bach party, and couldn’t figure out why it was weird to use a gift.
TheOtherOtherMe June 20, 2013, 2:45 pm
GatorGirl June 20, 2013, 2:28 pm
Yes, that’s what Stag and Doe parties are- fundraisers for the wedding.
Pamplemousse Rose June 20, 2013, 2:33 pm
It’s not all of Canada! Just Ontario and Manitoba (for the most part). I’ve never heard of one further west…
CG June 20, 2013, 3:10 pm
Yeah, I mean, I’m not saying he should have gotten them something really extravagant/expensive. I just think, say, a gift card would have been more appropriate than a picnic basket (although I doubt the brides would have liked a gift card either). And the “doe and doe” fundraiser is just beyond tacky.
6napkinburger June 20, 2013, 1:29 pm
I personally think that present sounds awesome. And as someone who is gluten sensitive (not quite allergic, but that’s another issue), I STILL would have thought it was awesome, even if I couldn’t eat it. It is like when someone gives you bath salts or such and you can’t stand the smell… that’s not the gift giver’s fault and you try like hell to make sure they don’t realize that you can’t enjoy it.
I have to think this is made up; I have to. (by the editors, not wendy). It would be one thing if only one of the brides did this, and the other found out and mortified. But both were on the same page??? I just can’t believe it.
PS I don’t think he was insulting the “two bride” part of the wedding by saying that it was a sham; I’m guessing that has more to do with what he knows of their actual relationship.
Tracey June 20, 2013, 3:31 pm
I agree. Even if you don’t necessarily like the contents, one has to admire the thought, time, and care the giver put in to putting the gift together in tribute to the recipient. Sometimes, a gift isn’t about the material thing itself, but about the love and thought behind the material item.
Holly June 20, 2013, 1:33 pm
I would’ve loved that basket and I don’t even like fluff. The rest of it sounded awesome.
That said, this makes me not want to have a wedding. How ridiculous.
Tracey June 20, 2013, 3:33 pm
IKR! And when did weddings turn into profit opportunities anyway? I can be cynical, but that line of thinking is way too cynical for me to comprehend.
Doodles June 20, 2013, 5:34 pm
I think when all these weddings reality shows came out. The brides see what other people on tv do and think its ok. I am sooooo not a.diva bride, and i don’t understand the logic of being one. If you are that much of a bitch, I’m suprised anyone wants to marry that person.
MMcG June 21, 2013, 12:28 pm
When in doubt, blame reality TV!
bethany June 20, 2013, 1:42 pm
Like I said in the forum about this yesterday, bot brides deserve a cunt punt for being tacky bitches.
So rude.
I think the gift basket sounds awesome. I would have loved a gift like that!
artsygirl June 20, 2013, 4:18 pm
I love that the Sorority Girl letter vernacular is making it into everyday speech.
katie June 20, 2013, 1:45 pm
THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS PEOPLE!!
mrmidtwenties June 20, 2013, 6:40 pm
Oh my god, I’m so glad someone else says this, I yell this whenever someone royal fucks up at work
ktfran June 20, 2013, 1:57 pm
So, this guy’s gift to the bride probably cost somewhere between $50 – $100. The hinged, wicker basket alone was probably $30, if not more. I looked up PC black label. That stuff doesn’t look cheap.
Anyway, I think the brides were super tacky. Who does that?
Pamplemousse Rose June 20, 2013, 2:16 pm
I shop at the same grocery store chain they did (PC Black Label is delicious!) and that basket easily costs $50+ to make.
FancyPants June 20, 2013, 2:26 pm
I know right? I would have LOVED a gift basket of some black label stuff when we got married. Those PC folks know how to make a nice cracker.
Cara June 20, 2013, 2:33 pm
OMG their white cheddar Rosemary crackers are delish! Not even Black Label, just regular old PC brand.
Pamplemousse Rose June 20, 2013, 2:36 pm
Their fresh salsa in the deli as well – some of the best I’ve had…
BreezyAM June 20, 2013, 9:15 pm
I like PC stuff but let’s be honest here; it’s the Loblaws/Provigo store brand!
Lindsay June 20, 2013, 1:58 pm
I think the gift is awesome. And even if I didn’t care for the food, I would at least appreciate the creativity and funniness of it. Putting food in a basket, even if it came from their pantry, is a lot more effort than I put in when I type in my credit card number and ship something off a registry.
There’s no excuse for the brides’ behavior, no matter the gift. I wonder if they honestly believe that no one gives gifts anymore. I suspect that was a lie to back up their point. Do you think they expected the giver to send them a check after all?
Scooze June 20, 2013, 1:59 pm
Well, the brides are half-right. The trend is away from gifts. But it’s towards no gifts at all, not towards money. This makes me think of the movie “As Good as it Gets” when Greg Kinnear said his dad gave him a wad of sweaty cash and basically told him to go away forever.
Well, here’s your wad of sweaty cash, ladies, get lost!
GatorGirl June 20, 2013, 2:20 pm
I’ve never heard the trend is no gifts at all. Where did you hear that?
And the cash vs boxed gifts is highly dependent upon your area. 95% of our Southern guests gave physical gifts while only about 30% of our Northern guests gave physical gifts. (Yes we had a pretty serious North-South divide since my husband is from NC and I’m from PA.)
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 2:21 pm
I’ve heard about it very recently.
GatorGirl June 20, 2013, 3:46 pm
I was genuinely curious. If that is the trend- I’m on board with it. I hate that people feel obligated to give gifts.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 3:49 pm
I wouldn’t call it a trend yet, but I feel like people are trying to make it one, at least.
Scooze June 20, 2013, 4:56 pm
With people getting married later and later, I’ve had “no gifts” specific on the past 3 or 4 weddings I’ve been to. I have spoken with friends who agree with that. Plus, Wendy just published something about it… people already have their households set up. Don’t need silverware.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 4:58 pm
But I need Fluff!
Kate B. June 20, 2013, 2:05 pm
“Wedding are to make money for your future.” So are jobs. Maybe you should get one instead of expecting handouts from everyone you know. Coincidentally, income from jobs can be used to pay for meals, too. Then again, I haven’t gave a f*** what greedy airheads think for most of my life, so why should I start now?
FancyPants June 20, 2013, 2:45 pm
Or you know, don’t have a wedding and put that money towards your future? I don’t get why people think that their wedding is some great event that people should pay an admission fee to attend.
I had a wedding last september and broke even after gifts – though some people who attended didn’t give us anything. Did it bother me? No. I thought our friends and family were more than generous and the people who didn’t give us anything still made the effort to be there and be happy for us. All I really wanted was a day to marry my husband and have everyone we love there to celebrate with us. Anyone who helped make that happen did enough.
Fabelle June 20, 2013, 2:17 pm
Holy fucking shit. Both of them (the brides) were incredibly unnecessarily bitchy. Like, wtf. You “lost out on $200” ??? I think that’s where my head exploded. Guests are not supposed to fund the wedding.
AKchic_ June 20, 2013, 1:19 pm
Honestly – I think the gift basket was a cool idea.
I am getting pretty tired of the “intolerance” fads going around. Yes, I get that some people are legitimately intolerant or allergic to gluten (I baby-sat a girl with this problem, and work with two others who are), same as any potential allergy. However, once the fad diet of “gluten free” came out, magically, dieting people started saying they were allergic in order to make their fad diet seem more legit. They are “allergic” to guarantee cooperation. Eating gluten will not make them sick, just appears to hinder their dieting goals.
The bride who sent the missives was extremely rude, and by the sounds of it – young. She does need a lesson it etiquette, manners, and what a wedding is truly about. It certainly isn’t a cash grab, nor is it about the gifts you can score. It’s about bringing friends/family together to witness the union of two people/families. It sounds to me like these girls just wanted a larger wedding and invited as many people as they possibly could.
This person is better off just dropping all communication with the brides and not bothering with them again.
Jessibel5 June 20, 2013, 2:17 pm
Cracked.com had a whole article on fad illnesses a few years ago:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-real-diseases-that-have-somehow-become-trendy/
Gluten allergy is absolutely there!
So, off topic but…this actually came up yesterday because of that crazy new Miley Cyrus video, but we were joking about how she claims her banging body is from a gluten free diet because “like, gluten is crap anyway guys!” to which I call BS to, she’s just using it as an excuse) and someone was like “wait, is Cocaine gluten free? I never knew that!”
Taylor June 20, 2013, 2:29 pm
Anyone seen “This is the End”? There’s a great exchange in there between a couple of friends when one of them says he’s off gluten. It goes something like:
“Dude, you don’t even know what gluten is”
“Sure I do. It’s a general word for things that are bad for you. Like calories. Calories are a gluten.”
MaterialsGirl June 20, 2013, 3:55 pm
totally saw that and laughed in the theater
kare June 20, 2013, 5:03 pm
I hate that people default to “gluten intolerance” when they aren’t, but I like that there are more gluten free options now. My former boss was gluten intolerant and people wouldn’t believe her, which was frustrating because she would take a chance eat something without knowing if it was gluten (oh and soy) free, then wouldn’t be able to take her jewelry off because her body would swell.
XanderT June 20, 2013, 2:32 pm
When I read Wendy’s 1st few sentences I decided that I was done with DW. Seriously – enough wedding stuff already. And then…….I read the article along with Wendy’s tongue in cheek remarks and I laughed so hard. No way I can leave DW now! Thanks, Wendy! Funny stuff!
Taylor June 20, 2013, 2:33 pm
Profiting on a wedding, that’s funny. Wait, I totally profited. I got to spend 3 days with my very favorite people, have a kickass party, and dance my tail off (on a hinky knee, thankyouverymuch). Oh yeah, and marry my awesome husband =) Anything over that was gravy.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 2:36 pm
This is my most favoritest DW wedding comment ever!
Taylor June 20, 2013, 2:47 pm
Thanks lbh!
TheOtherOtherMe June 20, 2013, 2:43 pm
Who are these people? Were they raised in a barn? The greed, materialism, immaturity and general bitchiness of these folks is unprecedented. I understand that in some cultures giving cash is traditional, but EXPECTING it and then keeping tabs on who gave what and CALLING THEM OUT on it is truly disgusting, piggish behavior. People using weddings as a money-making venture should be shot.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 2:53 pm
Now you just sound barnist.
Kate B. June 20, 2013, 4:34 pm
This remark insults people who really were raised in barns.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 4:37 pm
So my mom says that all that time if we leave doors open or whatever. My stepdad actually grew up on a farm, so he thinks he’s just hysterical when she asks and he says YES.
Kate B. June 20, 2013, 6:05 pm
My parking space is included on my condo lease as part of the property. I’m waiting for someone to ask me if I own the space so I can say, “Actually, yes I do.”
bittergaymark June 20, 2013, 2:51 pm
The more I read this, though… the more hoaxish it becomes. I mean, at times the texts are damn near illiterate…
boredatwork June 20, 2013, 3:10 pm
I come from the town that the paper is from (Hamilton Ontario for those who didnt check) and this has been in our paper twice. First this article, and again today with reader comments. It was also on the radio where various ‘friends of the bride’ called in to defend her. So Im fairly sure it isnt a hoax
ktfran June 20, 2013, 3:19 pm
Radio stations hire people to call in. I actually have a friend that gets paid to do this. So it could be that.
Tracey June 20, 2013, 3:23 pm
Wouldn’t that be the best scenario of all? I don’t want to believe real people behave like this. I had to laugh when I found out these folks were from Ontario because I live in Detroit, and so many folks here joke about how polite and well mannered our Canadian neighbors are compared to us here in the states. This post just blows that mindset to bits.
Jessibel5 June 20, 2013, 4:29 pm
Have you been on Facebook lately? That place is a quagmire of shitty grammar, crappy spelling and general idiocy!
boredatwork June 20, 2013, 3:05 pm
These brides should have just charged admission at the door. It would have been easier then spending time and money on sending out invitations, which imply that the person is wanted at the wedding, not their money.
Tracey June 20, 2013, 3:20 pm
I don’t know why my place of work is determined to block this site for “adult content,” because the exchanges between the brides and the gift giver in this post are the definition of juvenile. There’s no way a bride has the right to demand a receipt, insult the gift giver for their choice of gift, shake down her guests for cash like she’s Henry Hill and all her guests are named Peter, Paul, or Marie, or operate under the assumption that her reception is quid pro quo for a “suitable gift.” At the same time, the gift giver has a duty not to sink to the abysmal level of crassness of a bride who exhibits such behavior, no matter how good it may feel to put said crass bride in her place.
This story made me wince…and very happy that I don’t have any wedding invitations in my mailbox. Funny how major life events, the ones that are supposed to be the happiest, tend to bring out the darkest sides of people.
Woosah! Now I hope my IT department doesn’t block this site yet again. Whenever there’s an system upgrade or system reboot, my access gets cut off. I missed you guys!
rachel June 20, 2013, 3:21 pm
Tracey! We missed you too!
Tracey June 20, 2013, 3:23 pm
It’s good to be back. Now here’s hoping it lasts more than a couple of days….
Pamplemousse Rose June 20, 2013, 2:30 pm
Can we please also talk about the other “tradition” mentioned in their exchange – the stag and doe (or doe and doe in this case – . I find the concept so distasteful, even icky.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 2:32 pm
I think calling it a dosey doe is freaking adorable, but yea, I totally agree with you. I’ve never heard of it before DW.
Pamplemousse Rose June 20, 2013, 2:37 pm
I’ve heard of it (it’s a regional thing, not to my region) but always thought it sounded horribly tacky.
Fabelle June 20, 2013, 2:50 pm
Same here, I did NOT know this was a thing at all until DW.
Lindsay June 20, 2013, 3:13 pm
That is weird. When I lived in North Dakota, people would do the suck for a buck for bachelorette parties and do a dollar dance at a wedding. I guess those are technically tacky, but the weddings were much less formal and were often held in towns where everyone literally knew each other.
CG June 20, 2013, 4:19 pm
OMG I *hate* the dollar dance! Partly because it’s seriously tacky, and partly because who carries cash anymore? The last wedding I went to that had a dollar dance, everyone was expected to participate too, and I had no money so I had to bum cash off one of my friends. Seriously, no more dollar dances!!!
boredatwork June 20, 2013, 3:13 pm
What I HATE about stag and does is that while I am often invited to spend my money and donate to the wedding I am NEVER invited to the actual wedding! So these people are inviting me to help fund their wedding which I am not going to attend. That I think is BEYOND tacky. It has happened three times. I went to the frst one mistakenly thinking that being invited to the stag and doe ment getting a wedding invite. I didnt even know the wedding had happened until I saw the FB pictures.
lets_be_honest June 20, 2013, 3:14 pm
Yea, reading Wiki it said that you don’t necessarily get invited. WTF
boredatwork June 20, 2013, 3:19 pm
Yea, and attending these things isnt cheap either.
Jessibel5 June 20, 2013, 4:28 pm
I can’t even…that is so ridiculous.
Ugh, now I’m having anxiety. We had a “just immediate family” wedding and are having a party at the end of the summer to make up for it and invite people to celebrate. I’m not expecting gifts of any kind, I don’t want them, although any and all will be appreciated if they happen to show up with one, but now I don’t want people to think I’m inviting them for a gift!
Kate B. June 20, 2013, 4:38 pm
Crap! I’ve been going it wrong! Working and saving. Damn. I could’ve just gotten married! Why didn’t somebody tell me? All that time wasted.
kerrycontrary June 20, 2013, 4:59 pm
Better yet, sue someone.
fallonthecity June 20, 2013, 5:00 pm
Wow. I actually thought the gift sounded very nice, even if the marshmallow fluff was a little weird (maybe some people use that stuff more than I do). I hope the whole story is fake!
Every time I hear the “cover the cost of your plate” line of reasoning about wedding gifts, I feel very exhausted. I go to weddings of the people I love to celebrate with them and I buy them presents to show I am happy for them. It’s not like I am showing up because I needed an excuse to go to a fancy venue with white wooden folding chairs, bland catered food, and music which is usually not to my taste – I would personally be just as happy to wear a casual sun dress to a wedding in someone’s back yard. So, it is especially off-putting to me when I hear people saying things like, “I spend THIS MUCH MONEY to have so-and-so there, and then they only spent $50 on a gift,” since I did not care one way or the other about the stuff they spent big money on. That kind of attitude will only ensure that they don’t have any friends left to buy them presents the next time they celebrate a Big Life Event.
blarfengar June 21, 2013, 12:29 am
Seriously. Do these people think their wedding is a performance and they’re charging admission? Because while I love going to loved ones weddings, I’d rather save the money and go see a concert or something if they’re going to be like that.
fallonthecity June 21, 2013, 9:44 am
Me too!
BreezyAM June 20, 2013, 9:18 pm
my mother would have died of shame if I pulled a stunt like either of those witches wtf
Lucy June 20, 2013, 11:22 pm
And I bet these grasping, greedy bitches even had a cash bar.
But on the plus side, GG, here’s two friends you don’t need that you can cut right out of your life. Maybe use that extra time to work on your spelling and grammar.
KKZ June 21, 2013, 9:15 am
I think if I were the gift-giver, I’d buy a cheapo box of plain white business envelopes, wrap it up in pretty wedding paper, and address it to Bride #2 specifically with a note saying “Now you can have the gift you really wanted! P.S. Here’s the receipt in case your wife is allergic to envelope glue.”
…nah, I wouldn’t have the cajones to do that, but wouldn’t that just be the best ending to this horror story?
fallonthecity June 21, 2013, 11:45 am
This is an excellent idea, A+. The gift-giver should have gone straight to this option instead of responding to the nasty-grams – maybe with a really apologetic note: “Dear so-and-so, Please accept my sincerest apologies; I hope you will excuse my ignorance of the traditions surrounding weddings. Enclosed are the customary envelopes. You can return the gift basket to the address listed. With love and best wishes for your new life together…”
Fabelle June 21, 2013, 1:17 pm
LOL yes!!
Cleopatra_30 June 21, 2013, 1:14 pm
So….am i the only one who sees an epic picnic in their future?? I guess they were too blind with rage to see the full possibilities of that basket of goodies!
Boosker June 21, 2013, 2:58 pm
That was so insanely entertaining. And for the record, gift cards and money are soooo great, but a thoughtful “date night” gift like that would’ve been awesome to receive.