By all means, discuss with your boyfriend your theoretical plan to buy a house, if only because after seven months together, it’s appropriate to discuss your dreams with each other, especially if those dreams might affect one another long-term. What you want to be careful not to do, however, is make the conversation too serious or to push your relationship harder than it’s ready to be pushed. If, in your mind, making plans for the future means discussing where you want to travel this summer, that’s totally fine. But it also means you probably aren’t quite ready to discuss where you’re going to raise your babies one day. So, keep that mind when you tell him, “Hey, my lease is up at the end of the summer, and for the last couple of years, I’ve been toying with the idea of buying a home of my own. I know we aren’t in a place yet to discuss living together, but I feel like that’s a direction we might be slowly moving toward eventually and since you’re a home owner yourself, I’m curious what your thoughts or advice on the subject might be.”
There’s no reason buying or thinking about buying a home should hurt your relationship. It may bring up some issues that you perhaps wouldn’t be discussing so soon, but that’s not a bad thing. It can actually be quite a good thing. And it’s important to remember that as big of a responsibility as home ownership is, it doesn’t have to mean you’re totally tied down. If you buy a house and decide six months later you want to live with your boyfriend, you can always rent out your house (or he can rent out his), or you can be totally luxurious and live in both homes until it makes more sense to make one the primary residence. My point is, you’ll have plenty of options, and I would hope that at 32 years old and after seven months with you, your boyfriend would be mature enough to discuss some of those options — specifically, in regards to your relationship — without getting too freaked out. If he can’t, that might be a good sign that perhaps this isn’t a relationship that’s stable enough to think long-term just yet and you’d be wise to make future plans that have the best interest of you as an individual at heart, rather you as a part of a packaged deal.
*If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, send me your letters at [email protected].