Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Write the Happiest Story You Can in Four Words

My friend Emily posted on her Insta stories today that she won a contest on Instagram, writing the happiest story she could using only four words (her story: “Mitch McConnell hemorrhoids forever.” ). It sounded so fun, I’m stealing the idea and inviting you all to write the happiest stories YOU can using only four words. I will choose one winner (by Friday morning), and in honor of midterms in less than three weeks, I’ll send the winner the brand new book, Shade: A Tale of Two Presidents, by Obama’s Chief Official White House Photographer, Pete Souza.

Here are a few to start:

1. Thank you, Madame President.
2. We heard the heartbeat.
3. She found love, finally.
4. 10-hour work week.
5. Blue house AND senate.

76 comments… add one
  • avatar

    keyblade October 17, 2018, 1:47 pm

    We fixed climate change.

    Reply Link
    • Lucidity

      Lucidity October 17, 2018, 8:55 pm

      YES!

      Reply Link
  • bittergaymark

    Bittergaymark October 17, 2018, 1:53 pm

    Every republican dropped dead.

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  • avatar

    MP October 17, 2018, 1:54 pm

    All women can choose.

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  • avatar

    MissD October 17, 2018, 1:56 pm

    Mom’s coming to visit!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Kate October 17, 2018, 1:59 pm

    We all know why.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Lollypop October 17, 2018, 2:04 pm

    Make America Great Again!

    Reply Link
    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy October 17, 2018, 2:15 pm

      I’m genuinely curious, when people say that, what time in America are they referring to? Just ballpark: what era in America would you define as “great”?

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      • avatar

        Allornone October 17, 2018, 3:07 pm

        when Obama was president
        (at least that’s my answer, Lollypop may feel differently)

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  • avatar

    AuntyDote October 17, 2018, 2:18 pm

    Donald Trump found dead

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    • avatar

      Allornone October 17, 2018, 3:07 pm

      Mine was similar:

      Trump and Kavanaugh died.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Bondgirl October 17, 2018, 6:34 pm

        Every republican voted out?

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  • avatar

    Howdywiley October 17, 2018, 2:22 pm

    She unconditionally loves myself.

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    • avatar

      Howdywiley October 17, 2018, 2:22 pm

      Nope. Toddler hit phone.

      She unconditionally loves herself.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    keyblade October 17, 2018, 2:25 pm

    We’re brave and kind.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    JD October 17, 2018, 2:34 pm

    We are finally pregnant!

    Hoping this is an xmas gift I can give this year.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    hmb October 17, 2018, 2:36 pm

    I won the lottery.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      JD October 17, 2018, 2:39 pm

      Told hubs to grab a Mega Millions ticket on his way home. Also hoping for that!

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      LisforLeslie October 17, 2018, 3:31 pm

      I was going to write that. Of course, it helps if I play the lottery (I never play the lottery).

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        JD October 17, 2018, 3:37 pm

        We rarely do either. Since I heard it on the news i figured, eh, I could use 680 million. Why not.

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  • avatar

    Janelle October 17, 2018, 3:30 pm

    All who love,loved!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Ready to Mingle October 17, 2018, 3:34 pm

    We have MacNCheese!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    LisforLeslie October 17, 2018, 3:37 pm

    Mueller Proves Trump Colluded
    Kavanaugh impeached for perjury
    Beato trounces Ted Cruz
    DeVos killed by bear
    NRA files for bankruptcy

    Reply Link
    • Copa

      Copa October 17, 2018, 3:47 pm

      I just chuckled aloud at your DeVos story. Hahaha. Po-tential grizzlies!

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        bondgirl October 17, 2018, 6:35 pm

        ROFL at DeVos headline. Lord do I hate that wretched woman.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy October 19, 2018, 7:44 am

      WINNER, WINNER:

      DeVos killed by bear.

      (I loved your others, too). Leslie, please email me an address where I can send the book, “Shade,” or if you prefer, I will make a $20 donation to your democratic candidate of choice. I’ll announce the winner in the weekend open thread, too, in case it’s missed here.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    ktfran October 17, 2018, 3:47 pm

    And woman inherited earth.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Wehaf October 17, 2018, 4:06 pm

    It all got better.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Suki October 17, 2018, 4:09 pm

    President Trump impeachment confirmed.
    Good health is everything.
    Free chips and queso.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      LisforLeslie October 19, 2018, 7:55 am

      Pence incapacitated by stroke.

      (Because he’s worse -and where the hell is that guy?)

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    saneinca October 17, 2018, 4:56 pm

    America’s first female president.

    People are sane, sensible.

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    • avatar

      Kate October 17, 2018, 5:04 pm

      Just Please Not Ivanka.

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      • avatar

        ktfran October 17, 2018, 5:10 pm

        Ooh. I’m changing my four letter story.

        2028: Chelsea obliterates Ivanka.

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      • avatar

        ktfran October 17, 2018, 5:12 pm

        Or when will Malia be old enough?

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      • avatar

        Kate October 17, 2018, 5:17 pm

        Michelle!

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      • bittergaymark

        Bittergaymark October 17, 2018, 5:41 pm

        Wouldn’t it be revolutionary if the first women President was actually elected due to her own qualifications? And NOT simply because her daddy / husband was conveniently once a President, too? Enough nepotism. Enough mediocre family dynasty bullshit. It was lousy with the Bushes. And saddled us with an unelectable pariah with HRC. Can was please all just fucking LEARN from our stupid mistakes?
        .
        There is a happy story that will somehow sadly NEVER happen.
        .
        Learn From Our Mistakes.

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      • avatar

        Kate October 17, 2018, 5:54 pm

        You’re right, blow them all up!

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      • avatar

        ktfran October 17, 2018, 6:00 pm

        I was writing a fictional four- word story. One that I would personally find hilarious but don’t want to live out.

        And I’d also personally love it if our first woman president happened to be African American.

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      • avatar

        saneinca October 17, 2018, 6:52 pm

        God! No.
        But can ANYONE be worse than Trump ?

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    • bittergaymark

      Bittergaymark October 17, 2018, 7:13 pm

      Ivanka would be worse as both she and her husband are utter scum. Just as bad as her father. Her bland beauty would have millions of dimwitted men (and women!) fawning all over her every move as she gleefully fucks us all over…

      Reply Link
  • Dear Wendy

    Dear Wendy October 17, 2018, 5:55 pm

    Oh! And whoever wins: if you prefer, instead of sending the book, I can make a $20 donation to the democratic candidate of your choice.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Amanda MacQueen October 17, 2018, 6:15 pm

    I am debt free!

    Reply Link
  • Cleopatra_30

    Cleopatra_30 October 17, 2018, 7:31 pm

    Canada legalized weed today

    Reply Link
    • Lucidity

      Lucidity October 17, 2018, 9:19 pm

      Halloween candy supply decimated

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        ktfran October 18, 2018, 7:53 am

        Lol. Thanks for the chuckle this morning.

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  • Lucidity

    Lucidity October 17, 2018, 8:50 pm

    Love triumphed over hate.

    Reply Link
    • bittergaymark

      Bittergaymark October 17, 2018, 8:55 pm

      Delusional Fantasies Are Fun.

      Reply Link
      • Lucidity

        Lucidity October 17, 2018, 9:01 pm

        Laugh or you’ll cry

        Link
  • avatar

    Howdywiley October 17, 2018, 9:18 pm

    Final student loan payment

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Juliet October 18, 2018, 12:02 am

    His penis works again!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    allathian October 18, 2018, 12:48 am

    Roe vs. Wade upheld.
    Trump, Pence found dead.
    Our 10th wedding anniversary!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Brendan October 18, 2018, 6:59 am

    Full night of sleep.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Randee October 18, 2018, 7:36 am

    Wendy Wins Nobel Prize.

    (OK, that is a complete suck-up but I hadn’t seen it done yet.)

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Reveriedreamer October 18, 2018, 8:03 am

    Love-still the only answer.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Cleo October 18, 2018, 8:54 am

    Everyone got their desserts.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Sara October 18, 2018, 9:15 am

    Affordable and accessible healthcare.
    Compassionate people in power.
    Free vacation somewhere beautiful.

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  • avatar

    anonymousse October 18, 2018, 9:22 am

    Republicans vanish: alien abduction?
    Millennials vote record numbers!
    All female cabinet confirmed.
    Marijuana legalized in US.

    It’s so nice to think these thoughts.

    Reply Link
    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy October 19, 2018, 7:48 am

      Honorable mention for “Millennials vote record numbers!” and “Marijuana legalized in US.”

      I’d like to make a $10 donation to your democratic candidate of choice, so reply here or email me privately and let me know what that might be. Thanks!

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    TheOtherOtherMe October 18, 2018, 9:24 am

    Nightmare is Finally Over.

    Reply Link
  • Kate B.

    Kate B. October 18, 2018, 9:29 am

    My back stopped hurting.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Kali October 18, 2018, 10:31 am

    My cancer’s all gone.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      LisforLeslie October 18, 2018, 10:53 am

      That is a happy story.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      keyblade October 18, 2018, 11:13 am

      I hope it’s true for you.

      Reply Link
  • bittergaymark

    Bittergaymark October 18, 2018, 10:32 am

    Spontaneous
    Combustion
    Exterminates
    Kardashians.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    CS October 18, 2018, 11:43 am

    Pooped in the potty

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    for_cutie October 18, 2018, 11:43 am

    Free cure for cancer.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    K October 18, 2018, 11:53 am

    Pizza makes you thin.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    cyndi October 18, 2018, 2:50 pm

    RETI

    RETIRED schoolteacher December 2017

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    keyblade October 18, 2018, 3:37 pm

    They did get him.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Taylor October 18, 2018, 8:25 pm

    A weekend to myself.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Bekahtravels October 18, 2018, 9:45 pm

    A wonderful moment, now.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    LisforLeslie October 20, 2018, 9:46 am

    Whoooooooooo!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    keyblade October 20, 2018, 10:18 am

    LisforLeslie for the win

    Congratulations to you and anonymousse!

    Reply Link

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