My friend Emily posted on her Insta stories today that she won a contest on Instagram, writing the happiest story she could using only four words (her story: “Mitch McConnell hemorrhoids forever.” ). It sounded so fun, I’m stealing the idea and inviting you all to write the happiest stories YOU can using only four words. I will choose one winner (by Friday morning), and in honor of midterms in less than three weeks, I’ll send the winner the brand new book, Shade: A Tale of Two Presidents, by Obama’s Chief Official White House Photographer, Pete Souza.
Here are a few to start:
1. Thank you, Madame President.
2. We heard the heartbeat.
3. She found love, finally.
4. 10-hour work week.
5. Blue house AND senate.
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keyblade October 17, 2018, 1:47 pm
We fixed climate change.
Lucidity October 17, 2018, 8:55 pm
YES!
Bittergaymark October 17, 2018, 1:53 pm
Every republican dropped dead.
MP October 17, 2018, 1:54 pm
All women can choose.
MissD October 17, 2018, 1:56 pm
Mom’s coming to visit!
Kate October 17, 2018, 1:59 pm
We all know why.
Lollypop October 17, 2018, 2:04 pm
Make America Great Again!
Dear Wendy October 17, 2018, 2:15 pm
I’m genuinely curious, when people say that, what time in America are they referring to? Just ballpark: what era in America would you define as “great”?
Allornone October 17, 2018, 3:07 pm
when Obama was president
(at least that’s my answer, Lollypop may feel differently)
AuntyDote October 17, 2018, 2:18 pm
Donald Trump found dead
Allornone October 17, 2018, 3:07 pm
Mine was similar:
Trump and Kavanaugh died.
Bondgirl October 17, 2018, 6:34 pm
Every republican voted out?
Howdywiley October 17, 2018, 2:22 pm
She unconditionally loves myself.
Howdywiley October 17, 2018, 2:22 pm
Nope. Toddler hit phone.
She unconditionally loves herself.
keyblade October 17, 2018, 2:25 pm
We’re brave and kind.
JD October 17, 2018, 2:34 pm
We are finally pregnant!
Hoping this is an xmas gift I can give this year.
hmb October 17, 2018, 2:36 pm
I won the lottery.
JD October 17, 2018, 2:39 pm
Told hubs to grab a Mega Millions ticket on his way home. Also hoping for that!
LisforLeslie October 17, 2018, 3:31 pm
I was going to write that. Of course, it helps if I play the lottery (I never play the lottery).
JD October 17, 2018, 3:37 pm
We rarely do either. Since I heard it on the news i figured, eh, I could use 680 million. Why not.
Janelle October 17, 2018, 3:30 pm
All who love,loved!
Ready to Mingle October 17, 2018, 3:34 pm
We have MacNCheese!
LisforLeslie October 17, 2018, 3:37 pm
Mueller Proves Trump Colluded
Kavanaugh impeached for perjury
Beato trounces Ted Cruz
DeVos killed by bear
NRA files for bankruptcy
Copa October 17, 2018, 3:47 pm
I just chuckled aloud at your DeVos story. Hahaha. Po-tential grizzlies!
bondgirl October 17, 2018, 6:35 pm
ROFL at DeVos headline. Lord do I hate that wretched woman.
Dear Wendy October 19, 2018, 7:44 am
WINNER, WINNER:
DeVos killed by bear.
(I loved your others, too). Leslie, please email me an address where I can send the book, “Shade,” or if you prefer, I will make a $20 donation to your democratic candidate of choice. I’ll announce the winner in the weekend open thread, too, in case it’s missed here.
ktfran October 17, 2018, 3:47 pm
And woman inherited earth.
Wehaf October 17, 2018, 4:06 pm
It all got better.
Suki October 17, 2018, 4:09 pm
President Trump impeachment confirmed.
Good health is everything.
Free chips and queso.
LisforLeslie October 19, 2018, 7:55 am
Pence incapacitated by stroke.
(Because he’s worse -and where the hell is that guy?)
saneinca October 17, 2018, 4:56 pm
America’s first female president.
People are sane, sensible.
Kate October 17, 2018, 5:04 pm
Just Please Not Ivanka.
ktfran October 17, 2018, 5:10 pm
Ooh. I’m changing my four letter story.
2028: Chelsea obliterates Ivanka.
ktfran October 17, 2018, 5:12 pm
Or when will Malia be old enough?
Kate October 17, 2018, 5:17 pm
Michelle!
Bittergaymark October 17, 2018, 5:41 pm
Wouldn’t it be revolutionary if the first women President was actually elected due to her own qualifications? And NOT simply because her daddy / husband was conveniently once a President, too? Enough nepotism. Enough mediocre family dynasty bullshit. It was lousy with the Bushes. And saddled us with an unelectable pariah with HRC. Can was please all just fucking LEARN from our stupid mistakes?
.
There is a happy story that will somehow sadly NEVER happen.
.
Learn From Our Mistakes.
Kate October 17, 2018, 5:54 pm
You’re right, blow them all up!
ktfran October 17, 2018, 6:00 pm
I was writing a fictional four- word story. One that I would personally find hilarious but don’t want to live out.
And I’d also personally love it if our first woman president happened to be African American.
saneinca October 17, 2018, 6:52 pm
God! No.
But can ANYONE be worse than Trump ?
Bittergaymark October 17, 2018, 7:13 pm
Ivanka would be worse as both she and her husband are utter scum. Just as bad as her father. Her bland beauty would have millions of dimwitted men (and women!) fawning all over her every move as she gleefully fucks us all over…
Dear Wendy October 17, 2018, 5:55 pm
Oh! And whoever wins: if you prefer, instead of sending the book, I can make a $20 donation to the democratic candidate of your choice.
Amanda MacQueen October 17, 2018, 6:15 pm
I am debt free!
Cleopatra_30 October 17, 2018, 7:31 pm
Canada legalized weed today
Lucidity October 17, 2018, 9:19 pm
Halloween candy supply decimated
ktfran October 18, 2018, 7:53 am
Lol. Thanks for the chuckle this morning.
Lucidity October 17, 2018, 8:50 pm
Love triumphed over hate.
Bittergaymark October 17, 2018, 8:55 pm
Delusional Fantasies Are Fun.
Lucidity October 17, 2018, 9:01 pm
Laugh or you’ll cry
Howdywiley October 17, 2018, 9:18 pm
Final student loan payment
Juliet October 18, 2018, 12:02 am
His penis works again!
allathian October 18, 2018, 12:48 am
Roe vs. Wade upheld.
Trump, Pence found dead.
Our 10th wedding anniversary!
Brendan October 18, 2018, 6:59 am
Full night of sleep.
Randee October 18, 2018, 7:36 am
Wendy Wins Nobel Prize.
(OK, that is a complete suck-up but I hadn’t seen it done yet.)
Dear Wendy October 18, 2018, 7:51 am
Haha!
Reveriedreamer October 18, 2018, 8:03 am
Love-still the only answer.
Cleo October 18, 2018, 8:54 am
Everyone got their desserts.
Sara October 18, 2018, 9:15 am
Affordable and accessible healthcare.
Compassionate people in power.
Free vacation somewhere beautiful.
anonymousse October 18, 2018, 9:22 am
Republicans vanish: alien abduction?
Millennials vote record numbers!
All female cabinet confirmed.
Marijuana legalized in US.
It’s so nice to think these thoughts.
Dear Wendy October 19, 2018, 7:48 am
Honorable mention for “Millennials vote record numbers!” and “Marijuana legalized in US.”
I’d like to make a $10 donation to your democratic candidate of choice, so reply here or email me privately and let me know what that might be. Thanks!
anonymousse October 19, 2018, 8:56 am
Aww, thanks Wendy!
How about Amy McGrath in Kentucky?
https://amymcgrathforcongress.com/
Dear Wendy October 19, 2018, 9:09 am
Done! $10 to Amy in your honor.
TheOtherOtherMe October 18, 2018, 9:24 am
Nightmare is Finally Over.
Kate B. October 18, 2018, 9:29 am
My back stopped hurting.
Kali October 18, 2018, 10:31 am
My cancer’s all gone.
LisforLeslie October 18, 2018, 10:53 am
That is a happy story.
keyblade October 18, 2018, 11:13 am
I hope it’s true for you.
Bittergaymark October 18, 2018, 10:32 am
Spontaneous
Combustion
Exterminates
Kardashians.
CS October 18, 2018, 11:43 am
Pooped in the potty
for_cutie October 18, 2018, 11:43 am
Free cure for cancer.
K October 18, 2018, 11:53 am
Pizza makes you thin.
cyndi October 18, 2018, 2:50 pm
RETI
RETIRED schoolteacher December 2017
keyblade October 18, 2018, 3:37 pm
They did get him.
Taylor October 18, 2018, 8:25 pm
A weekend to myself.
Bekahtravels October 18, 2018, 9:45 pm
A wonderful moment, now.
LisforLeslie October 20, 2018, 9:46 am
Whoooooooooo!
keyblade October 20, 2018, 10:18 am
LisforLeslie for the win
Congratulations to you and anonymousse!