New Here? Welcome! Dear Wendy is a relationship advice blog. You can read about me here, peruse the archives here and read popular posts here. You can also follow along on Facebook and Instagram. If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected] (be sure to read these guidelines first). Thanks for visiting!
In a new feature I’m calling “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. Things started going downhill at some point for reasons we can’t decipher. We started arguing over things that got blown out of proportion. He no longer initiated sex with me or showed any interest in sex at all, even though he was still extremely loving and affectionate. I know he wasn’t cheating on me. The lack of sexual interest made me insecure and bitter and we started fighting more and more. He now claims that his lack of sex drive is due to our relationship problems and his struggling with depression, saying he loves me but all our fighting has been a turn-off. I strongly feel that we wouldn’t be fighting like this if the sex never stopped. He is sweet, trustworthy, smart, thoughtful, physically affectionate, compliments me all the time, calls often, spends time with me, and assures me he loves me and wants to have a future with me. But we’ve had problems for over a year now, so I feel like enough is enough. How long do you continue fighting, being sexually frustrated and feeling unhappy before you say it’s over? — He Lost That Lustin’ Feeling