In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
I’m 27 and I’ve been dating my 34-year-old boyfriend for three and a half years, living together for two. We get along fantastically, still love being around each other, have great sex, and have shared interests in terms of our future. I’m in no rush to get married, but I figured that we were comfortably moving in that direction. Unfortunately, I shouldn’t have assumed. He says he can’t imagine life without me, but a year ago, he started expressing doubts not in our relationship, but in marriage and the idea of committing to one person forever.
In a few months we were set to move to a new apartment and I don’t know if I can move again with him if he can’t tell me that we’re pretty well on our way to getting married. His main fear is that he isn’t convinced he’d be able to remain faithful. He promises me that he’s never cheated on me to date (I completely believe him), but he said that “guys are different about sex,” and that he doesn’t know if he’ll always be able to turn it down if a woman makes it clear that she’s willing. I have trouble understanding this dilemma because even if “guys are different,” if he’s been able to resist to date, why wouldn’t he be able to in the future?
I love him with all of my heart, but should I cut my losses now, as painful as that is, instead of spending another year waiting for him to come around? — Tired of Waiting