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In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
Before him, I was in an abusive relationship, so trusting someone is very hard for me. He typically is very patient with me when I worry about silly things, and he does his best to make me feel secure. But things started going downhill once we went on vacation earlier in the summer — I found out he gets mean when he drinks. He either apologizes after I tell him what he’s said, or he tells me he definitely didn’t say those things/doesn’t remember saying them, which makes me feel like he thinks I’m crazy and make things up.
I also noticed him checking out other girls, and he’s admitted to me he sees plenty of other girls he thinks are prettier than me and that he fantasizes about them and would like to have sex with them. A new girl started at the restaurant where we work and she’s your typical tan, bleach-blonde, skinny type; he literally can’t take his eyes off her. When I brought it up to him how it hurts me when he stares at her all night while barely saying a word to me, he got upset and told me I was making it up. I decided to forget about it, but tonight he caught me watching him check out her behind, and yet he still denied he checks her out.
He says he loves me and would do anything for me. When I mentioned taking a break, he got upset to the point of tears and begged me to stay with him. But lately I’m more hurt than happy in our relationship. What should I do? — Tired of His Ways
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.