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In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
Apart from this situation, he has been good and caring otherwise. He says he is sorry and wants a chance to start over, and I want us to start over too. I told him I was willing to work on it and I do love him, but right now I’m having a hard time. How does someone get the trust back after being lied to over and over and over again? I mean, I felt stupid and guilty for suspecting anything and it turns out I was right all along. How could he do that to someone he says he cares about unless he is actually lying about caring about me? How could he keep doing that knowing how it affected every part of our life and was getting in the way of our supposed happy family? How can I ever look back on any good memories and be anything but sad? And how can I ever remember all the lies and be OK with them? — Want to Forgive but Can’t Forget