When we first started dating, everything was great! At one point though I began to become concerned that she may still have feelings for one of my best friends, with whom she had previously messaged and talked. I was told that their relationship was just friendly; however, I suspected that she may have been more interested in him at some point than he was with her. I noticed that both of them seemed to be getting on and off Facebook at the same times. When I mentioned it to her, she stopped getting on Facebook for the most part (although I did not request this of her).
Since April she has not been nearly as affectionate with her words (e.g. “I love you,” “I miss you,” etc.). Around that time, we picked out rings and we became engaged. I am going through a divorce that has become a nightmare of delays, so, even though we have told a few close family and friends about our engagement, we are not sharing it publicly until my divorce is final. We originally talked about getting married this summer, but about two to three months ago she decided to push it to October. Through all of this time I have not been able to shake the feeling that she is communicating with this other guy. I have asked her about it a few times, but she adamantly denies that she has communicated with him.
She and I text or talk every evening before she goes to bed. One evening she asked me before 10 if I was going to bed soon. I thought that was strange. After that I began to look at the other guy’s activity on Facebook. I started noticing that he would get off Facebook every evening at or immediately after the time that she and I said our good nights for the evening. This went on for several weeks. I thought it was odd, and I thought that, if they were communicating with each other, it might be of a sexting nature due to the late times. At one point I began to suspect they might be doing something similar in the mornings. I also suspect that she may be doing something similar during breaks at work. Granted, I have no solid proof that this is going on — just circumstantial evidence and gut feeling mostly.
The thought that they may be sexting and engaging in cyber hookups is eating me alive! I can’t sleep. I consider sexting to be the same thing as actually having physical sex because in your heart and mind you are having sex with that person! I would never do anything like this to her! Again, I do not have proof that this is happening, but the “coincidences” seem to be too much. I have suggested, on a couple occasions, that we might both be ready for a break-up, but she doesn’t want one. I have even thought about breaking up with her despite her objections, but I do love her and don’t want to lose her if I’m wrong.
I don’t know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated. — Eaten Alive
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