In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without any commentary from me:
After he failed his courses to become a diagnostic imaging technician, he started a job as a driving instructor and he mostly works with teenagers. Recently, I found out that he actually meets girls there, befriends them on Facebook and, I assume, keeps in touch from there. Yesterday, I noticed he liked one girl’s profile picture — a picture of her in underwear! In the back of my mind I’m thinking she’s just a child, an underage girl. He calls these girls his “friends” and says that they are “spiritually enriching” him.
Now, without passing anymore judgment on the issue myself, I just want to ask: is this normal for a 27-year-old guy and am I being unreasonable and overly-jealous?
I am working towards a career and I’ve been living on my own for a few years now. I am independent enough to have the resources to do all that and more, while my boyfriend still lives in his parents’ basement and doesn’t know what the next five years look like. I take vacations without him, because he can’t afford them. I love the guy — he has so many good qualities, but perhaps I see potential where there isn’t. I want to voice all this to him, but I am not sure where to start and how to go about it and if I even should. I never see him without getting into a fight, but I want to feel that I’ve done all I could, all that was possible before I move on. I am at a crossroads and I hope that you can help me get some perspective. — Not a Teenager
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.