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He has two children, both grown. It has not been a an easy relationship with them, especially the daughter. But over the last two years she’s accepted our relationship and sees that I love her dad. She has recently met a man and is serious in her own relationship. She has brought him over to meet both of us; he is a great guy and we are both happy for her. She has become pregnant and they are planning on marriage. Our relationship (daughters and mine) has grown: They come over for dinners and to swim in the pool with their friends, and the pregnant daughter even gave me a Mother’s Day card and gift, with a message stating that, yes, our relationship has been rocky but let’s be friends. I was so happy.
Over the last month or two, I’ve learned about plans for the wedding and that it’s to be very small and that only Dad and Mom will be there. At least that’s what I’ve been told, not by daughter but by Dad. So, as you could imagine, I was really hurt and torn that I was being excluded. Dad and I talked about it, and I expressed my feelings and hurt. Long story short, Dad made the choice not to attend the wedding and to stand by me since he felt that I should have been included.
So, again as you can imagine, the daughter now hates me and now we have the ex-wife telling us how wrong we both are and that Dad will now be excluded from all in his daughter’s future. I even tried to reach out to the daughter to ask why and her thoughts and, most importantly, tell her that I thought we had grown closer and I didn’t understand why she was doing this.
Come to find out, I had been lied to all along about the wedding and their plans because her mother still hasn’t gotten over my relationship with her dad and didn’t want me there. Now the daughter doesn’t want anything to do with either Dad or, especially, me. And this is all my fault. I’m extremely hurt, confused, and deeply sad for my husband.
Was I wrong and what advice can you give me to maybe make it better? — Hurt To Be Excluded
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