“He Earns More But Wants to Split the Rent Equally”
I’d like to point out that this was my idea even though I was making significantly more than he was at the time (since he was making zero dollars). Just before we moved in together, circumstances changed drastically. He got an amazing new job making $7000/month. I’m still at the job I had before, making between $2500 and $3000, depending on the hours I get. Based on his new salary, I agreed that we should rent an apartment he liked that I knew was completely out of my price range if we’d be splitting the rent 50/50. I didn’t think it would be a problem based on our conversation before. But now he’s saying that he didn’t mean for that conversation to be set in stone, and he doesn’t think it’s fair for him to pay more just because he makes more.
If I have to pay 50% of rent and utilities, plus other expenses… There’s literally no way I can do that and get by. I’ve finally gotten him to agree to CONSIDER splitting everything based on income, but now he wants to put a deadline on me finding a new job. I’m upset about this for a lot of reasons. In the first place, I’m upset that he’d want me to pay 50% of everything even knowing that that would leave me completely broke at the end of the month. Who would want to do that to someone he loved?! And I’m also upset that he wants to put conditions on me in terms of finding a new job when I have very little control over that. All I can do is apply, network, and try my hardest; I can’t force anyone to hire me, or predict when that will happen.
I’ve offered to put in $1500/month OR 50% of whatever I make — whichever is more — and he’s reacting as though I’m trying to rob him blind. I’m so hurt. If our circumstances were reversed, I’d insist he pay less, and probably cover a good portion of any entertainment we wanted to do or whatever, too. And again, this whole plan was my idea when I thought that I’d be the one paying more.
What are your thoughts on this? What would be fair? At this point I’m beginning to reconsider the entire relationship. I love him, and I know he loves me, but I don’t know if I can get past the hurt of all of this. — Half Broke Idea
I have to wonder why you’d consider moving into an apartment you can’t afford with a man who doesn’t seem to value and respect you in the same way you value and respect him. The fact that your boyfriend is only OK with the idea of each of you contributing similar percentages of your income when it’s YOU who would pay more speaks volumes. It means he’s selfish and is more invested in his own needs and comfort than yours. I would think very, very carefully about continuing a relationship with someone like this, let alone moving in with him.
You need to protect both your heart and your finances and the best way to do that is to keep your living expenses within your means. If you were to move with your boyfriend into an apartment that you can’t afford with the agreement that he will pay more for it — an agreement, let’s remember, that hasn’t even been reached yet — what would happen if/when he decided he didn’t want to pay more any longer? Then what? What recourse do you have then? What happens if you two break up, and he asks you to move out but you can’t afford the deposit at a new place because you’ve been spending every cent you earn to stay in an apartment that suited your boyfriend? It makes no sense.
Don’t move in with your boyfriend yet. Take time to continue exploring your relationship. Enjoy your independence and your own space. Continue focusing on finding a better job (at your own pace and without a deadline from someone else). Don’t move in with your boyfriend until you can agree on how you’ll split rent and household expenses. There’s no “right” answer here; I personally feel that the percentage-of-income contribution is completely fair, but it only matters what you and your partner agree on.
If you can’t reach an agreement, then you shouldn’t move in together. And if you can reach an agreement, wait until you have three months’ rent saved (your portion and his) to move in together (and then make sure you keep that money in the bank for a rainy day!). The last thing you want as a woman is to be financially dependent on a man who has no legal responsibility to you, especially when a breach of trust could spell homelessness if you can’t afford the rent on your own.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].
If LW is making as little as $1,000 a month and her boyfriend thinks that she is cheating him by only offering to contribute $600 a month to housing, that’s really selfish and insensitive of him. I think 1) this relationship needs a chance to develop without the pressure of a close financial tie and 2) he doesn’t really sound like a keeper. I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for a limited period of time (say another six months-year), but if he doesn’t show signs of developing more empathy and generosity, throw him back.
So let me get this straight. When you first started talking about co-habitation with this ‘adult’ you agreed that you would pay a percentage into the rent and utilities with the understanding that since you had a job and he did not, that you would contribute the lion share. When his circumstances changed for the better he suddenly decided that not only does he not want to have to contribute more than 50%, and he also wants to upgrade to a much more expensive apartment which would decimate your bank account each month. On top of all that, it sounds like he is making unreasonable demands that you get a better paying job despite the fact that you are interviewing, sending out CVs/resumes, etc…Why the hell are you with this man? It sounds like he has no empathy and was happy to use you when he was unemployed but now that he has a job he doesn’t want to offer you the same concessions (because it isn’t fair *sarcasm). I hope to G-d that you have not yet signed a lease or moved in with him because honestly I would kick his butt to the curb. A man that treats you like this is not worth the time of day.
Boo boyfriend! LW, that behaviour would hurt my feelings too. Have you straight up asked him why he was ok with this when you were making more money, but isn’t ok with it when the situation has reversed itself?
Ugh, it’s the putting a deadline on finding a new job that really puts me off from this guy. Does he know how difficult it is to find jobs in certain fields? That people with advanced degrees and experience are working at Starbucks and Macys just to get by while they compete with 300-500 applicants for one position? If your boyfriend can’t deal with you in a difficult economy, even though you stood by him while he was unemployed, I see no point in staying together. Life will throw a lot worse at you in the future.
LW, your boyfriend is asking something of you that makes NO sense at all. It sounds like he could be high off of his new financial independence, but if that were the only issue, then he’d eventually see logic. It seems as though you’ve already discussed this a lot, though, & he’s still hellbent on his shitty plan. If it were me, I’d tell him to enjoy his new salary & good luck finding a place for himself becauseee I’m gone! (Seriously, money concerns need to be something a couple can agree on.)
LW. you can’t afford that place at the amount he wants you to pay. Therefore, you cannot move in there (and won’t move in there) or he needs to change his expectations of what you pay. You guys can always look for another cheaper apartment where you can split the rent 50/50. Tell him this plain and simple.
If I were you I wouldn’t move in together though – finances are a major thing and so far you guys don’t agree. You need to get to the same place about them or this problem is just going to keep recurring.
Definitely do not move in together until you can both agree on the terms. It seems logical that if he insists on 50/50 the two of you will have to limit your housing options to places that you can afford. If he insists on choosing according to his own budget then you simply won’t be able to participate if you’ll be required to pay 50% of the rent.
I agree with Wendy- If you hven’t moved in with him yet- DON’T! And if you’re already in a place with him, don’t move.
I feel like you did the smart thing by discussing how you’d handle the finances well before you moved in together (and btw- I think the percentage thing is a great, fair way to go about it), and at the time it sounded like a good deal to him, because he had nothing. I think it really shows a lot about his character, that he’s willing to put you into financial hardship just so he can enjoy having more money! I could possibly understand if he had some sort of other financial responsibility, like caring for a relative, or paying off some sort of medical debt, but you don’t include that in your letter…
Whatever you do, LW, don’t committ yourself any further to this man until you guys resolve this issue!!
I won’t defend how he handle the situation…but unless you guys are like…actually in it for the long haul / engaged / married so your incomes are essentially combined I don’t see any reason why you wouldn’t split your living expenses 50/50 and live in a place you can both afford at that rate. I don’t think that is actually a big deal…it’s all the other shit he’s throwing at you after you made a stink about that that I don’t agree with.
It’s so great that your boyfriend was totally cool splitting the rent by percentage when YOU were the one paying the majority. Now, he’s coming across as a). an idiot and b). totally selfish. Don’t agree to move into a place you can’t afford on your own. Probably don’t agree to move in with this guy, period.
Haven’t read Wendy’s or the other commenters’ replies yet, but…
I don’t blame him! If you can’t do 50/50, then you shouldn’t get that place or you should get a place you can afford on your own. I personally think the whole percentage of income thing is BS (unless you are married).
I make significantly less than my SO whom I live with, and I have a lot more bills than he does, a LOT. However, I would never want him to pay my way. We split our shared expenses right down the middle (aside from groceries which is whoever is at the store buys, it evens out). Now, if we go out or something, he will usually pay, but thats a different story.
I’ll get yelled at for this, and don’t mean to sound anti-whatever, but give me a break. We women want to be independent, self-sufficient, don’t need a man, etc., but yet here’s a letter saying ‘Its clear my bf doesn’t love me because he thinks me paying pennies toward our rent, while offering zero other contribution, is unfair.’ I’m looking forward to reading everyone’s comments.
That’s pretty anti- feminist of you. Don’t pretend that your way is the best way and you should be able to tell everybody else how to live their life. Percentage of income is THE fairest way.
I think Wendy’s advice here – You need to protect yourself and the best way to do that is to keep your living expenses within your means – is excellent.
I admit I glossed over the allegation that you both agreed you’d pay more when you were in the better position. For some reason, I’m not buying that, or at least not thinking it was said at a time this was really actually going to happen.
Bottom line is tell your bf you simply cannot afford the place he’s chosen and you would be happy to move to a place that you can afford. If he chooses the better place, then don’t move in with him. And then reevaluate your relationship, and not in a Dump Him kinda way, but maybe he just isn’t ready to move in together after such a short period of time together.
It doesn’t matter if 50% of her income is pennies, it’s 50% of her income. I don’t think she is looking for a free ride whatsoever.
Oh my, LW, he is being incredibly selfish. You two are supposed to be partners, not roommates. You are being completely reasonable in asking for a percentage of income to determine living expenses. Money can reveal deeper character issues about a person. You say he loves you, but he certainly isn’t acting loving or understanding. Actions speak louder than words. I wouldn’t want a future with someone like that.
This guy sounds like an asshole. MOA
RED FLAG.
If you both made a significant amount of money – you made $100K and he made $120K I would say percentage isn’t necessary or all that fair in that case – you both make enough to split the expenses equally so the disparity of income wouldn’t matter (all things being equal) but if you barely make enough to get by on and he makes significantly more, then this system doesn’t work.
I would say that if he wants to live in the fancy apartment then he can shoulder the premium for doing so – but truly at this point LW – your inclination to re-evaluate your relationship is a sound one. Life isn’t perfect and you need a partner that can understand the give and take it requires to have a successful relationship. If your boyfriend is only interested in the take part then this isn’t the boy for you. The fact that he was okay with the percentage division of expenses based on income when he had the lower income but is against it now that you would be the one to put in less monthly speak volumes about his character. Pay attention. Income changes over time but character rarely does.
Personally, I’m not a fan of splitting rent, etc. based on your relative income. I prefer splitting things 50-50. I mean, would you then split meals out and vacation and stuff based on your income too? There’s something about the percentage-thing that seems… petty. Like you’re sitting there and calculating everything and saying “you owe X and I owe Y.” What say the rest of you?
But of course you have to be comfortable with 50% of the expenses, otherwise, don’t move, no way. And it looks like that’s where you are. (If he’d rather live with you in a nicer place, that’s when he can offer to pay more.)
How a couple approaches, discusses, and agrees on finances is a pretty good indicator of how strong and healthy a relationship is. I have made substantially more than my husband throughout our relationship. I handle our finances, pay the bills, make investments, plan our longterm security, and so forth, while discussing them with my husband. Some people would think this arrangement is very lopsided, but at the end of the day, we both know I’m better at handling finances than he is and we mutually agreed that it was fair to the both of us to handle it this way. And since he and I don’t view our income and expenses and “yours” and “mine”, but ours. Each couple handles finances differently.
That being said, it doesn’t sound like you guys are agreeing on an equitable and mutual arrangement and certainly he is the roadblock. You are willing to compromise, even after his turnabout. However, his “compromise” is based on a caveat (the deadline) on you that is, frankly, a littl immature and controlling, especially since you are looking for a job (meaning, you’re not just laying around being a mooch). Let me warn you about something: if he is not willing to be flexible and acknowledge that the two of you have to find a solution to finances that you are both happy with, it will only get worse from here as larger life decisions approach. If you continue to make less than he does, do you have less say in the type of house you two buy? Will he be allowed to place limits on what you spend or dole out an allowance? Will you have any input or always be treated as someone who has fewer rights in the relationship because you contribute less financially?
If I were you, I would be out the door. Because he doesn’t sound like a partner who is considerate of you and realize that a relationship involves the happiness of both parties, not just one. Please think long and hard about how is acting and how this bodes for the future of your relationship. Good luck!
It doesn’t seem like there’s a clear consensus on which way is the fairest but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that both the LW and her bf agree on the same terms. If not then moving in together would be an enormous mistake.
I’d just like to point out that too many couples move in together when they clearly aren’t ready. I don’t understand why some people take living together not so seriously. It’s a big step and you have to be ready for all the changes that come your way, including splitting expenses.
Like Wendy said I don’t think that either of you should be moving in to an apartment that you can’t comfortably afford half of the rent for. You definitely don’t want to get to a place where you’re constantly strapped for cash because you had to pay rent.
When my husband and I moved in together before we were married we paid on percentages. He earned significantly less than I did (we could both afford half the rent at that time if we had wanted to) and so I probably contributed 60% while he contributed 40%. It worked for us, but obviously we’re not you all. And what made us comfortable might not be ok with the two of you.
Before you move in make sure that you discuss and decide on a concrete plan. It’s not sexy and it’s not romantic but it has to be done. I don’t know that I would move in with your bf at this point (not because of the 50/50 thing for rent, but because of his overall attitude) but, if you do I would make sure there was a written agreement that clearly states what the two of you will contribute. Whether that be 50/50, percentages, etc. That way no one can come back saying I thought we were doing it this way, I thought it was that way.
I consider the change in attitude a red flag on his character.
The reality is you can’t afford the apartment he wants so tell him you’re sorry you can’t move in with him because you can’t afford it. That’s honest and it protects you. He will end up having to choose between you and a nicer apartment.
LW- forget about whether or not your BF is committed or being fair. The main issue is you are not in a good place to move in and take on this kind of financial burdon. I don’t care what part of the country you live in, $1000 per month is not a livable salary. Stay where you are. Save up money and create a financial cushion for when you do move out. Concentrate on finding a better job.
Issues surrounding money are the biggest factor to the breakdown of marriages and relationships. You have only been together 1 year. Why take on this conflict? Work on developing your relationship. Is there a NEED to move in now?
Take it slow. Its more important to save up some cash and get yourself in a stable financial situation than move in with your boyfriend.
Yuck. Bad situation. LW, your boyfriend is incredibly selfish and insensitive. You mentioned that you’re going to be live-in-SOs, not roommates, but he’s treating you like the latter.
Your boyfriend should support you. Yeah, maybe he can help push you to keep looking for a better job, but telling you you HAVE to have a better job in x months or else… Is not supportive. It’s horrible.
What if something horrible happens and you lose your job all together? Will he kick you out? If the answer is “yes” or “I’m not sure” then absolutely do not move in together. If you guys can’t agree on the simpler things like how to split rent reasonably, you need to seriously consider what kind of person you are in a relationship with.
I’d be interested to see how the boyfriend react to the suggestion of living in a place you can both afford. It sounds like he wants to live in a nice place without actually having to pay much. Everyone else already said it. Don’t move in. Besides how bad this makes your boyfriend look, this could be really detrimental to your financial situation. Any couple should choose a place that won’t create too much hardship on either half if someone ends up moving out.
You need to trust your instincts here and don’t move in with this guy! You guys don’t share values and this guy has a double standard that is, frankly, a little bit alarming. I don’t blame you for being upset at this situation because it’s infuriating that he would be comfortable with you paying more but now that the shoe is on the other foot, he’s not so cool with being on the flip side.
DO NOT MOVE IN WITH THIS GUY! This is the best thing you can do for yourself at this point. Let him foot the whole bill for his stupid apartment and see how he likes it. His lack of respect for you needs to get in check! Otherwise you can find someone who is more deserving of your time and your money.
It doesn’t really matter how a couple decides to split rent and living expenses (could be 50/50, 70/30, 90/10, whatever) as long as it’s something that you both can agree on and discuss in a mature manner. If you can’t talk about this sort of thing without acting like children, you’re probably not ready to move in together, and the LW’s boyfriend definitely sounds childish.
If you do live together, it should be in a place that at least one of you, if not both, could afford on your own if you break up. My ex and I lived together for a few months before things disintegrated, but the place was way too expensive. Neither of us had the income to take it over alone and we had to pay some seriously hefty penalties to break the lease. Both of us ended up having to move back in with family for a while after that…definitely not an ideal situation.
Put simply, I would move on. It is very telling to me that when the agreement was clearly to his advantage, he had no problem with it. I would probably give him one more chance, as in, explain that you simply cannot afford to pay the rent if he wants a nice apartment, that you find it unfair that he would change his tune just like that, and since nothing is set in stone, how can you be sure that he won’t change his mind again if/when your income will surpass his? To me he sounds a little stingy and arrogant and entitled.
Another thought…is it possible that your bf is having second thoughts about living together and is being a weasel, making it unaffordable for you rather than just saying that he doesn’t want to do it anymore?
Oh gosh… I’ve read some of these comments, and I can’t help but shake my head.
LW – Why would you ever agree to live in a place you can’t afford? That is called living above your means, and while lots of us do it… you’re potentially putting yourself in a position where you’ll be in a world of hurt. When you and your boyfriend discussed living situations, you should have picked a place where y’all can split 50/50 and still have some extra on the side for other expenses.
Also, I think the “percentage of income” is kind of stupid. We don’t know this guy’s financial situation. We’re going based off of what the LW has said. What if he has student loans or some credit card debt? Yeah, he picked a more expensive apartment, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have any financial hardships. Making less than 40K isn’t that much money. Obviously it depends on the couple but prior to moving in, you should have had a serious conversation about the living situation and how much each would cover. Like someone else said… you should be living like you’re roommates.
You don’t need to be dependent on anyone. If you’re unable of putting forth at least 50% of the rent, you simply don’t need to be living in that apartment.
And your boyfriend is a pretty rude for setting that deadline for you. I mean maybe it’ll light some sort of fire (not that you haven’t been trying), but he of all people should know the struggles of looking for a job in this economy.
I understood the chronology in a different way. I think they had the percentage-of-income conversation and decided to live together, then when they were looking for an apartment he got the new job so they rented a fancy one and are already living there, and now he wants to go 50/50 (this probably came up when paying for the deposit / contract expenses / etc).
Personally, I’m a 50/50 kind of person. Of course, there may be some months where I contributed more or my now-husband contributed more because of extenuating circumstances but mostly we split everything evenly no matter how much we were each making.
However, what WE do has no bearing on what you (LW) do. If you discussed this and both of you agreed to do a percentage, then that is what should be done. If he agreed to it when he was making less but now that he is making more won’t agree to it, that’s pretty crappy. That’s why these discussions need to take place (which it appears they did and he changed his mind). I don’t think you should move in with him and I certainly don’t think you should move into an expensive apartment that you can’t afford. If you had discussed it before and he said that he didn’t like the percentage idea and would prefer 50/50, at least you would have known what you were getting in to but that isn’t what happened and now you’re looking at making yourself go broke for an apartment you know you can’t afford. Don’t do it.
I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to split expenses. It all depends on the people involved and what works in each situation. What I do think there is a right and wrong way to do is discussing splitting expenses. When you discuss it with your significant other, each person needs to be open and honest about expectations. In your case, it appears that your boyfriend was only ok with percentages if it came out in his favor. You need to reexamine your living arrangement ideas and your relationship.
It makes for a very poor relationship when one person doesn’t see things as a team effort. That’s why we pair up, is it not? To share in life. In this day and age, there are PLENTY of options for convenient sex. One doesn’t need a significant other to get “some”. And if he simply wants the financial convenience, get a room mate for cryin’ out loud. Relationships (real adult ones anyway) are about having a partner in everything. Although it isn’t a marriage, I feel that through good times and bad times is still supposed to apply.
As Kerrycontrary mentioned “Life will throw a lot worse at you in the future”… I couldn’t agree with this more. If this guy isn’t there for you right now, would he be if you (God forbid) got really sick and couldn’t work at all? Got laid off? Needed to care for ill parents? Nothing is perfect. And life will certainly not always be “50/50”.
When my fiancee and I first started getting serious, we had the big money talk. We were both really honest about what we make and what we spend. When I shamefully told him exactly what I make (a little more than our LW here, but not by much), I actually apologized to him. He told me he is not with me for how much I make… that whatever life threw at us, we’d do it together. Yea, I’m sure he’d be pretty annoyed if I sat on my ass and contributed nothing to our lives. But from that point on, what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine. That is a really amazing feeling.
Now, it is very possible that the LW’s boyfriend is simply young and immature. Maybe with time this situation will improve. But, I would think very hard before taking this step. It sounds like you have enough doubt in your heart to hold back anyway.
Wendy gave great advice (as usual).
MOA from the selfish bf or at least don’t move in with him. It sounds like you have basic things you disagree about which puts the long-term future of your relationship in doubt. It is good advice not to move in together unless you are engaged or at least have a written agreement what you will do with regard to the lease if you split up as a couple. You don’t want to be paying rent on an apartment you’ve moved out of, or trying to be just roommates with a former bf, because you have 6 months left on the lease and he won’t agree to take the lease on individually. This is another case of you ‘love him’ but seem pretty close to not liking him. NOt a good bet going forward.
I think if the LW’s boyfriend was on board with her paying more when she had a job and he did not, this double standard is very unfair.
I was in the LW’s shoes three years ago and I’m still pretty much there. My husband has an amazing job, well over six figured, and with my current career aspirations I just won’t top or come close to what he makes anytime soon. When we were dating and moved in together, I paid for groceries/utilities/all our etcs (dining out, fun) and he paid the rent and our cable/internet. If it would have been 50/50, I would not have to been able to move in with them. He thought it was more important to live with me than to make sure everything was 50/50. If god forbid , he lost his job during that time, then I would have take non more jobs to help. I think the 50/50 split is a nice thought, but it rarely is practical if you have two people who make vastly different wages.
If I was the LW, I would speak about this calmly but firmly and wonder what his priorities and where their future is. If the plan is moving in together as a step toward marriage, is he always going to see their finances as a 50/50 split or is it ever going to be “their” money or equal according to income. Money is a big issue, if you don’t see eye to eye on it, you’ll never last.
I did not read all the above responses..
I don’t think it’s fair of him to suddenly change your previous agreement when HE wants to move and HE got a better job. There are things you can do to help out instead of just paying rent. When I first lived with my now husband I spent all my savings to move to be with him and did not have a job. He understood and I “payed” by cleaning the apartment, cooking dinner, going grocery shopping and being there for him. When I got a job I contributed what I could, which ended up being him paying rent and me paying bills. My point isn’t to talk about me… It’s to show that money is not the only way you would be contributing to your boyfriends life if you lived together. His reaction and demanding that you get a better job by a deadline is a huge red flag.
The other thing I need to ask us where is the economy getting better? I’m serious, please tell me. Where I live it went from 17% to 18% last month and shows no signs of improving. Is there somewhere it is getting better we should consider moving to?
I think it’s a totally reasonable financial philosophy to want to divide expenses in a relationship according to income. It’s also reasonable to want to split everything 50/50, regardless of income. There isn’t a right or wrong way to split expenses, but there is such a thing as financial incompatibility. As in, if you have fundamentally different ideas of what is a fair way to split costs, and you can’t find a good compromise, maybe you aren’t a good match.
It never ceases to amaze me how people will accept being treated poorly because they “love” someone, as if love is ever enough to make a relationship work. Try loving yourself first, then you’ll never have to question whether or not something is acceptable to you because you’ll know your own self worth, which I suspect you don’t have enough of right now.
I’d like to just add that if I made a lot more money than my SO, I would like to pay more because I want to pay more, not because she assumed I would just because the amount I made. If she agreed to move into a place we both liked, and then assumed I would pay for most of it, I would be a little miffed myself. You should have talked about how you were going to pay for this place before you agreed on it, you shouldn’t have assumed a coversation about maybe someday was going to hold true today.
So now that we’ve clearly come to a conclusion about whether 50/50 split or percentage of income is more fair (sarcasm), what should he LW’s next move be given that it appears they already have moved in together?
😉
I think getting a cheaper apartment where you can both pay 50% is clearly the right decision here. Paying % of income to me, comes with a “we’re a unit/team” attitude that is an intense commitment. It seems like the LW have that attitude/view on things and her boyfriend doesn’t.
And THIS is why you wait to move in until you are absolutely sure that you’re with the right person. Moving in should not be your first opportunity find out how selfish and money-pinching your SO is. If you are surprised that he is showing signs of selfishness, you don’t know him well enough to live with him!!
A couple of comments:
1) LW, your bf sounds like he might be kind of an idiot about money. He was recently unemployed, so his first step after getting a great new job is to start spending a bunch of money on rent? No. Dumb. What if the new job doesn’t work out and he ends up unemployed again? Then the two of you are stuck with a lease you can’t afford. He should be spending very conservatively right now to build up a cushion. This economy is nowhere near out of the woods yet.
2) His attitude toward your money is extremely selfish. He wants to live larger than you do, but he wants you to pay half? No. Asshole move.
Not only should you not move in with him, I think you should step back from the relationship. He’s not a grownup and he’s not ready to live with anyone.
Get the hell out of the relationship. He is selfish and it is only going to get worse! Trust me! It happened to me..
Do you both work the same amount of hours?