Roe has been overturned. Women’s bodies are now more regulated than guns are. Our reproductive rights have been stripped, and even rapists’ victims, the daughters of incestuous fathers, mothers of unviable fetuses, and pregnant people whose pregnancies risk their lives will now be forced to give birth in half this country or come up with the expense and time to travel to a state that still recognizes women as fucking humans capable of making decisions for themselves. I am sick as I know many of you are. Here are a few things we can do:
1. Donate to abortion funds, especially in the South.
2. Donate to clinics moving to states that will continue to have abortion access, and support clinic workers.
3. Volunteer to provide practical support.
4. Get and share information about self-managed abortion.
Please add any other ideas in the comments!
Hi, it’s been a while! I’ve decided to no longer post and answer letters involving topics I feel like I’ve covered enough already, but this is a new issue and I wanted to share it (trigger warning: mention of suicide).
Almost ten years ago now, my husband died by suicide. It was gruesome, and I found his body in our home. We were married two years and the suicide was a shock to everyone. I was both bereaved from the loss and deeply traumatized by finding the body. I was a mess.
It was my job to divide up his possessions. I made boxes of his favorite things for his friends and family, saved a few things for myself, and liquidated the rest. My brother and my first husband weren’t particularly close, but they got along well enough. I gave my brother my first husband’s Rolex. I loved that Rolex and I wanted it to go to someone special, but it felt too painful to keep it for myself. When my first husband was alive, I often wanted to borrow it, but it would have needed links taken out to do so, so I never could.
Over the years, as my trauma has healed and I’ve moved on with my life, I’ve started slowly wearing jewelry from my late first husband again. It no longer feels too painful; now it feels really nice actually. I’m happily remarried, but a death is not the same as a breakup and I feel I can love and honor both parties; I don’t need to choose loyalty, and my current husband agrees.
Recently, the Rolex came to mind. The problem is, I regret giving it away and I’d like it back. I asked my brother and he said he keeps it in a safe deposit box, wearing it 1-2 times per year. I asked if he would give it back, and he didn’t outright refuse but he did push back. In fact, he offered to pay me the value of the Rolex (about 5k). It’s not about the money; I want that watch back for sentimental reasons.
On the one hand, I fully understand that I gave it to him and he’s entitled to keep it. I won’t force the issue if it sparks an argument or causes a rift. But I’d like your opinion on if I’m wrong to ask for it back, given that I wasn’t in my right mind when I gave it away and I had to make a lot of snap decisions in that fragile state.
Relevant info: We are both lucky enough to be able to afford a Rolex if we wanted to go buy one. Also, I paid off about 60k in my brother’s student loans from life insurance money, so I have been generous with him on the whole. Mostly, I’m surprised by his reaction given the sentimental value on my end, and I’d love an outside perspective. — Rollin without a Rolex
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