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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy


Roe has been overturned. Women’s bodies are now more regulated than guns are. Our reproductive rights have been stripped, and even rapists’ victims, the daughters of incestuous fathers, mothers of unviable fetuses, and pregnant people whose pregnancies risk their lives will now be forced to give birth in half this country or come up with the expense and time to travel to a state that still recognizes women as fucking humans capable of making decisions for themselves. I am sick as I know many of you are. Here are a few things we can do:

1. Donate to abortion funds, especially in the South.
2. Donate to clinics moving to states that will continue to have abortion access, and support clinic workers.
3. Volunteer to provide practical support.
4. Get and share information about self-managed abortion.

Please add any other ideas in the comments!

34 comments
I plan on moving shorty after my youngest graduates high school. He is 15 now and I also have a 17-year-old, both boys. I moved in 2013 to Illinois from Wisconsin so they could be closer to their dad. I have no family and no close friends here.

My boyfriend lives in Georgia, and I want to move there after graduation. My mom and sister act like I’d be abandoning my sons though. Their dad will still be in Illinois, and although they are welcome to move with me, I doubt they will because they don’t want to leave friends.

I have been visiting my boyfriend a few times during the year for 3-4 weeks at a time, and my mom makes it a big deal because I am leaving my sons with their dad. The backstory is their dad isn’t very involved – he is “just there” and I am expected to do everything for them. They are supposed to go to his house every other week but don’t always stick to that plan.

I feel it is unfair to give me the guilt trip, considering I have given up so much for them already, and I want to live my life when they are grown. Once again, they are welcome to move with me. Am I being selfish because I want to visit my boyfriend and then move to be with him? — Sacrificial Mom

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17 comments

Here’s what we’re discussing this week in the forums:

Apprehensive about picking wedding date

Deciding whether or not to quit my college sport

Unmotivated at work

Wild family stories

Being the first guy after her divorce

HELP getting married in a few months and my fiancé has been shady

My mom is turning away our family for a holiday stay at home

Military boyfriend & I broke up and I’m feeling extremely hurt

0 comments

Hi, it’s been a while! I’ve decided to no longer post and answer letters involving topics I feel like I’ve covered enough already, but this is a new issue and I wanted to share it (trigger warning: mention of suicide).

Almost ten years ago now, my husband died by suicide. It was gruesome, and I found his body in our home. We were married two years and the suicide was a shock to everyone. I was both bereaved from the loss and deeply traumatized by finding the body. I was a mess.

It was my job to divide up his possessions. I made boxes of his favorite things for his friends and family, saved a few things for myself, and liquidated the rest. My brother and my first husband weren’t particularly close, but they got along well enough. I gave my brother my first husband’s Rolex. I loved that Rolex and I wanted it to go to someone special, but it felt too painful to keep it for myself. When my first husband was alive, I often wanted to borrow it, but it would have needed links taken out to do so, so I never could.

Over the years, as my trauma has healed and I’ve moved on with my life, I’ve started slowly wearing jewelry from my late first husband again. It no longer feels too painful; now it feels really nice actually. I’m happily remarried, but a death is not the same as a breakup and I feel I can love and honor both parties; I don’t need to choose loyalty, and my current husband agrees.

Recently, the Rolex came to mind. The problem is, I regret giving it away and I’d like it back. I asked my brother and he said he keeps it in a safe deposit box, wearing it 1-2 times per year. I asked if he would give it back, and he didn’t outright refuse but he did push back. In fact, he offered to pay me the value of the Rolex (about 5k). It’s not about the money; I want that watch back for sentimental reasons.

On the one hand, I fully understand that I gave it to him and he’s entitled to keep it. I won’t force the issue if it sparks an argument or causes a rift. But I’d like your opinion on if I’m wrong to ask for it back, given that I wasn’t in my right mind when I gave it away and I had to make a lot of snap decisions in that fragile state.

Relevant info: We are both lucky enough to be able to afford a Rolex if we wanted to go buy one. Also, I paid off about 60k in my brother’s student loans from life insurance money, so I have been generous with him on the whole. Mostly, I’m surprised by his reaction given the sentimental value on my end, and I’d love an outside perspective. — Rollin without a Rolex

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14 comments

Here’s what we’re discussing this week in the forums:

Our daughter is refusing help and pushing us out of her car/apartment buying

I meet my soulmate but my family doesn’t want to see it this way

Weddings

I really like my best friends ex boyfriend

How can I be more interesting?

Friend is mad at me for postponing our trip so I can attend my cousins gender reveal

Need advice

What is this?

I feel disrespected by husband

Right thing

Not too sure if I should see it through

His abusive behaviour stopped but I’m still not happy?

Am I a pos, how can I fix it?

0 comments