Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy
My boyfriend of five years has a 24-year-old daughter who lived with him until a few months ago. I was supposed to move in at the time, but due to my job we have to wait another year. He asked her to move back in with him because he has never lived alone and can’t bear it. Well, she’s thinking about it to save money because he will not charge her anything. She’s an RN and has a decent income. The problem is that I stay with him on the weekends and it becomes uncomfortable. I find their relationship odd. She sends him pictures of herself whenever she’s dressed up. I also find that he will rub her back in the same manner as when he rubs mine. It turns my stomach. I feel like I’m the other woman. I didn’t grow up with a father, so I’m not sure if it’s odd or just my insecurities. — Feeling Second To His Daughter

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I’m taking a break from drinking until the end of the month, but I made this video a couple weeks ago when I was still over-indulging. It’s based on a drink I discovered at my friend’s wedding in June and subsequently enjoyed most for the summer. I’ve since added bubbly and apple cider to make it a fun larger scale harvest punch, but I will have to share that recipe with you another time. For now, this super simple bourbon and ginger could not be easier to make and it goes down dangerously well. I love it as a transitional summer-to-fall cocktail, and I hope you will, too!

Bourbon and Ginger

3 parts bourbon (I like Bulliet)
2 parts ginger ale (I like Fever Tree)
a couple of maraschino cherries (Jack Rudy bourbon cherries would be great, or Luxardo – which is the name I’m trying to think of in the video – would also work)

Fill a glass three quarters with ice, add the ingredients, stir, and enjoy!

My boyfriend and I have been dating almost eight months and have always had a lot of chemistry. Kissing has never been a problem for us. However, near the end of June, I caught a cold. We made the mistake of making out while I had it, and soon enough he caught it too. Within a week, I was healed, but it wasn’t the same for him. No matter how much medicine and sleep he got he seemed to stay sick. And every time we kissed, even if it was short, he’d say a few hours later that he felt sick again and that I keep getting him sick. I’ve tried to reason that I can’t be doing that because you don’t catch the same cold twice, and I’m not sick anymore. However, he is so stubborn and refuses to believe me.

Fast forward to now, September, and he is no longer sick but he still will not kiss me. He admitted that he’s afraid of getting sick again and that’s why he avoids it. I can’t ask him to kiss me because it just makes him not want to even more. I’ve tried to explain that if neither of us is sick, then he won’t get sick, but my words have no effect.

I miss kissing him, and I’m tired of still doing sexual things without kissing. I want the foreplay, but there’s none. He won’t even kiss my hand or cheek. He says that I need to give him more time, so I’m trying to be okay with not being okay, but it’s difficult for me. I hope you can give me some words of advice. — Not Sick of Kissing

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Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

LAT: The Relationship Status That More & More Millennials Are Signing Up For

Is There Such a Thing as the Friend Zone?

Her Own Toy Story: How A 6-Year-Old Girl’s Letter Launched ‘Plastic Army Women’

Smartphones are making us stupid – and may be a ‘gateway drug’

Related: Teens are anxious and depressed after three hours a day on social media (I used to get depressed and anxious after five minutes on Twitter…)

People Are Confessing The Moment That They Realized They’d Met “The One” And It’s Too Sweet (when did you know you’d found the one?)

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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It’s time again for Shortcuts: three short questions and three short answers because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.

My husband keeps joining dating and swinger sites and posting naked pictures of me (never my face) and listing me as bisexual (I’m totally straight) without my consent. I’ve talked to him about it numerous times and he knows it upsets me, but he continues to do it. What should I do? — Totally Straight

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