Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Happy Friday! What a week. It’s nice to feel some hope, isn’t it, even in the midst of ongoing despair? The adults are back in the room, and for the first time in nearly a year, the anxiety I have felt about the our response to Covid, among many other things, has lowered just a little bit. The hope I feel for the generation rising up, embodied by Amanda Gorman at the inauguration, is abundant.

This Anderson Cooper interview with inaugural poet, Amanda Gorman, is delightful and inspiring, as is she.

21 Reasons to Have Hope in 2021

These Are The Absolute Best Bernie Sanders Sitting At The Inauguration Memes

What the Pandemic Has Done for Dating

Related: True Stories of Hooking Up During Covid-19

“After the most miserable year a lot of us can remember, we looked to 2021 with fervent hope that a fresh start might restore our well-being and equilibrium. We planned to put 2020 in a lockbox and hurl it into the sea.

But as the first full week of 2021 proved, terrifying news simply does not abide by the Gregorian calendar. And grief is a forever thing—one worth sitting with, examining, and learning from so that we can better care for ourselves and others moving forward.”

— New Year, Same Grief

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Here’s what we’re discussing this week in the forums:

“Should I Contact Him or Should He Reach Out First?”

Advice on freeloading adult brother and mother

My boyfriend is still in contact with his ex and he got caught!!

Mother in law forgot my birthday

Your kids are a bad influence on mine

A relationship that has hit every rock. Please help!

BFs mother I feel is crossing boundaries

I feel like my close friend is pushing me out of her life

Friends hate other friend I tried to include

Anyone going on awesome dates?

Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread

This whole Trump situation just gets worse and worse everyday

How to handle my family on this?

Anyone going on awesome dates?

Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread

This whole Trump situation just gets worse and worse everyday

Follow along on Facebook and Instagram.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].

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We made it!! We survived four years of the worst president in US history. So many did not survive, and the ripples of their absence and the grief of those they left will be felt for decades. So many of us suffered needlessly, losing livelihoods, family, and peace of mind under the tyranny of this dictator-wannabe and his disgusting enablers. But today is a new day and ushers in a new era in the US – and the world. The transition will be long, but it begins today. I am so happy and so grateful to be here to see it and to show my kids, two weeks after we watched in horror an insurrection in our nation’s capitol, that there’s still reason to hope and to feel proud of our country. Congratulations, everyone!

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It’s my fiancé’s 30th birthday soon. Let’s call him Ryan. Fifteen days before his birthday one of his female friends, “Rachel,” gave him a gift in the post. He then phoned her and she said she was going to send 30 gifts over 30 days for his 30th. While I think this is a lovely idea, there is a part of me that finds this rather strange.

A little background: Ryan and Rachel have been friends for many years, but they talk about once a month and mainly about her. When we got engaged, she cried for days. I get this could be a happy thing, but her husband and I found this very strange. She also was very controlling over our engagement party, changing everything and even wanting to do a speech. Speeches can be lovely, but we both wanted a very informal thing and didn’t want speeches. Because Ryan did not want to upset her, he said he wasn’t too keen, but he didn’t say no. Rachel had also written a speech for Ryan which was very impersonal and didn’t really include things about our relationship. On the night of the party, she kept asking when she could do the speech, and I eventually snapped and said, “No, I don’t want that!” very loudly, and she went to the bathroom crying. I felt really bad and apologized the next morning. Rachel then did not speak to me for months and every time all our friends got together she would blame me; it was very awkward. Most of our mutual friends and her husband defended me, saying it was our party and not hers, but, annoyingly, my partner did not say much to her.

When it came to wedding planning, she would text Ryan saying all our ideas were terrible, and she kept making suggestions to change things. Rachel even told us not to “rush into anything” after we announced our wedding date (two years into the future), which really upset me as we had been together for over five years at that point, and since she got married to her husband after two years, I don’t see how we could be rushing.

I have also felt that when we all meet up, all of Rachel’s attention is on Ryan and she will make jokey snide comments about me a lot, which I always take on the chin, but they do upset me. If I am honest, I feel like she fancies him although I don’t think she knows it. Ryan now believes she may, but he is just allowing things to happen. When Rachel told Ryan of what she had planned for his birthday, she said she was going to do another thing, but I was already doing it, which upset me a bit because she then spoiled my surprise! I feel like she is taking over his birthday after I’ve spent weeks of planning, and it means every day the attention is on her. Also, it is worth mentioning that Rachel’s gifts aren’t all small gifts; some are quite large and we are only on day 6 of the 30 at the moment. We worked out that she has spent £60-70 ($80-$95), which is quite a lot where we come from.

Am I overreacting? Do we accept the gifts? Do I say something? I am really bothered by this, but I don’t know whether to just get over it or to say something. — Three’s A Crowd

[continue reading…]

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Here’s what we’re discussing this week in the forums:

BFs mother I feel is crossing boundaries

I feel like my close friend is pushing me out of her life

Finding love in these times

How do I convince my bf to get a dog?

Anyone going on awesome dates?

Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread

This whole Trump situation just gets worse and worse everyday

Follow along on Facebook and Instagram.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].

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