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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links


Hi! I haven’t done a links round-up in ages, but I came across some good ones this week and wanted to share:

Over in the forums, we’re discussing perimenopause, where I said that this article – Women Have Been Misled About Menopause — from The New York Times Magazine was very timely. Frankly, the title is a bit misleading, actually, and speaks to how little understanding and open dialogue there has been about this stage in a person’s life. What we think of when we think of “menopause” – the oft-joked about hot flashes, the mood swings, the night sweats – are symptoms of perimenopause, the period that comes before menopause, and lasts anywhere from a couple years to a decade (on average, symptoms last about four years). For many of us, perimenopause begins around mid-to-late 40s (though there’s some thought that just as young people have been getting their first periods earlier than in previous generations, today’s middle-aged people are starting menopause slightly earlier too). If you haven’t yet experienced the fun yourself, here’s a taste of what’s in store:
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updatesIt’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Granny’s Got to Go” (LW2) who wrote in three years ago when she was discussing moving in with her boyfriend whose 69-year-old grandmother lived with him. She didn’t want to share a home with the grandmother. She wrote: “I know most people may not have a problem just moving in with a man and his grandmother, but I have a 12-year-old daughter and I want her to feel comfortable in her own house. My boyfriend at first wanted me to move into his house, but I said no, that I want to buy our own house together and start fresh. He agreed with that. He wants to move forward and is getting ready to sell his house, but I see the weight of not knowing what to do with his grandmother upsetting him.”

Are they still together? Did they move in together? What happened to Grandma? Update below:

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DW Turns 12 Today!

On this day twelve years ago, I launched DW – an anniversary I don’t always remember but this year I did. I like the number twelve, especially in relation to time. I think of the twelve months of the year and the twelve signs of the zodiac. Twelve seems significant, solid – like maybe you’re here to stay for a while. In many cultures, twelve is an age when an adolescent might experience some rite of passage into young adulthood. I had my confirmation at church when I was twelve, after a year or two of classes that I mostly doodled and daydreamed through, culminating in my very first taste of the body and blood of Christ (and now it’s probably been 25 years since my last – very last – communion).

I don’t have such fanfare to offer you today, but I do have a roundup of some of my favorite posts from the past twelve years if you’re interested in a little trip down memory lane or catching up on anything you may have missed. Whether you’re a longtimer here, have just recently joined the fun, or are just passing by, thank you for reading (and commenting and sharing and writing in with your questions). This site has evolved and moved through many iterations, but it remains today a place I’m proud to be a part of.

Here are a few favorites from 2011-2023:
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Last year, in addition to formally stepping back from DW for about eight months – and now I’m formally stepping back in a little more regularly! – I also informally stepped back from reading books. The latter break definitely wasn’t planned; it just kind of happened. I checked out fewer books from the library, I don’t think I bought any books at all, and of the twenty-five or so books I borrowed, I only got through maybe seven or eight of them. It was the least amount of book-reading I think I’ve ever done in a year. I did a lot of other things with my time – not all of it embarrassing or wasteful! – but this year, I’m making a concerted effort to read more books again. And I realized that, for me, that means focusing a little more on memoirs, since that’s my favorite genre. Yes, it took me until 46 years old to figure out that reading one’s favorite genre 75% of the time rather than like 25% of the time increases one’s enjoyment of reading!

Anyway, as part of my effort to read more this year, I’d love to talk books with you all. I’ll start! [continue reading…]

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