Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

Why Teen Boys Have More Leisure Time Than Teen Girls

Related to this post from the other day: “How Do You Know When It’s Time to Break Up?”

Why Are So Many Grown Men Obsessed With AOC?

A few weeks ago a friend of mine, who’s a few years older and who has a new boyfriend after a long period of being single, called me in a panic. “I’m two weeks late,” she practically whispered into the phone. “I’ve taken five at-home pregnancy tests and a blood test at the doctor’s office and they were all negative.” She went on to tell me that her boyfriend had a vasectomy years ago. I calmly told her not to worry – that there was a reasonable explanation why a 47-year-old woman who’d been having sex with a man who’d had a vasectomy would have a late period, and it was NOT pregnancy. “It’s perimenopause,” I said, before forwarding her some articles on the topic. In case you, too, are new to the idea of permimenopause, this essay’s for you:
This Is What No One Tells Women About What Happens To Your Body In Your 40s

I thought this story was cute: A Couple That Got Married After 2 Weeks On How It Went Down

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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The final season of “Catastrophe” was released a few days ago and it’s one of the best seasons of a TV show I’ve ever seen (seriously: it’s up there with the best seasons of “Mad Men,” “Six Feet Under” and “Breaking Bad.”). It continues with its same caustic, but ultimately loving, tone between the two married protagonists, presented in a highly relatable and hilarious package. (One of my favorite lines is delivered in the penultimate episode when Sharon, lying in bed and balancing a huge bowl of chocolate ice cream on her chest, sighs and says, “Ugh, when is it all going to stop being such a slog?”). The final scene is really breathtaking in its poignancy (and simplicity), and since I don’t want to spoil anything, I’ll just say: watch it! If you’re intrigued by the drama of relationships in peril (and that’s one of the reasons you’re here, isn’t it?), you won’t be disappointed by this series or this final season.

Similarly, if you are interested in complicated relationships (or just relationships between complicated people), you would probably enjoy the novel I’ve just finished, Conversations with Friends. Not a single quotation mark appears in the whole book and that isn’t even the most interesting thing about it. The banter, vulnerability, and barely-concealed hostility presented as love/ barely-concealed love presented as hostility among the four protagonists is.

I got a facial a couple months ago and my esthetician recommended this sunscreen, which I bought and have been wearing and loving every day since. There are other sunscreens I also love, but what’s different about this one is the light tint it provides, which is apparently “universal” in that it’s supposed to adjust to every skin tone. (I can’t prove this with my own independent use, but the reviews suggest this is true.) As someone who rarely wears foundation or BB cream, I like that I can get a little bit of tone correction with my sunscreen application and not feel like I’m wearing makeup. (I linked to it on Amazon because I get a commission on purchases made through my affiliate link, but it’s way cheaper here, if you prefer saving a bunch of money, which I would not blame you for!)

I will forever be loyal to my fave lipgloss, but I recently picked up this (in Velvet Wine) at the drug store when I didn’t have my go-to on me and I love it. It lasts as long, with a color and sheen almost as perfect, and is half the price. (Hmmm… maybe my product loyalty isn’t as strong as I thought, after all.)

I am pretty sure I have recommended this firm skin moisturizer before, but after returning to it following a few months of using another product for kicks, my commitment and love is renewed and I have to make another recommendation for those who missed the first one. This moisturizer is kinda pricey, but a little bit goes a long way (a jar usually lasts me about three to four months) and every morning I wake up after applying it the night before with dewy, soft, firmer-looking skin (even Drew thinks so!).

Ok, I have not seen the movie Gloria Bell yet and so have no business recommending it, but I’m doing so anyway for one reason only: Julianne. Need I say Moore? (Ha – see what I did there?). No really, I saw a preview of it a few weeks ago and it looked amazing, and early reviews are confirming that it’s good and Julianne Moore’s performance is, unsurprisingly, exquisite. Have you seen it yet?

I met my husband in March, 2018. He always told me he wanted to have a family with me some day. He lied on our first date saying he had gotten a divorce in 2016 and didn’t have any kids, but I found out eight months later he had two kids from two different women. I worked it out with him but was obviously mad about his lying, especially since I have a kid myself.

When we went to the courthouse three days before we got married, I found out he was actually married the whole time we were dating and hadn’t divorced until August of 2018. I was pregnant basically the same day we got married. He left three weeks after we got married for a girl with four kids. Even though he lied about that, my friend saw him out in public and sent me a picture. He lied to a judge and was able to get an OP (Order of Protection) on me because she was afraid I was going to beat her up. He wanted to get married ASAP and wanted to have a baby, and now I’m stuck with the baby.

After this OP I can’t even let him know when I’m in labor to see the baby. Now I want to give the baby to a friend to adopt, and I will be able to still see the baby any time. I figured I can do this behind his back since I have no way of informing him about anything. Am I wrong to feel like this? Can I even give the baby up for adoption? I just want to get a divorce and forget I even met him. He got me fired in November, and I just now found a job but I’m still in training. I have the chance to make good money with this job, but it’s long hours and five to seven days a week. They said I would make enough money to hire a nanny, but I don’t feel that’s how a baby should live. I refuse to be a single mom again, and he has already walked out on his children from his past. What should I do? — Ready to Move on

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This week in the forums we’re discussing:

Not sure if gaslit — engagement argument

My sister needs help. My parents refuse help.

I’m in love with my boss, who I used to sleep with

Boyfriend’s depression has him questioning our relationship

How to really MOA

His friend “interviewed” me (probably on coke) on our third date

How to relax re engagement

Is it weird to ask a guy to hang out in my circumstances?

He Said I’m not Like Anyone He’s Ever Met

Must-Do in Japan

Should I ghost her, or should I try again?

My boss has an actual sh!t list

Anyone going on awesome dates?

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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].


Drew and I had a little getaway (sans kids) over the weekend – which, maybe, shouldn’t be the first sentence following a headline about when you should have known it was over, but stay with me here. We had a great time in Hudson, NY, disconnecting from our responsibilities (i.e. those aforementioned kids we left at home), hanging out, aimlessly wandering around, day drinking (my fave), and trying to solve a crazy mystery at our airbnb (you can check it out in the highlights of my insta stories). At one point, I was reminiscing about a party I went to in my 20s… [continue reading…]