The ex recently came into an inheritance when his mom passed – about $100k-ish. My college daughter got Grandma’s used but newer car, which was a relief as I was only able to provide a much older car that worried me. Ex gave my son 10k to even things up. He also paid off about 4k in student loans my daughter had, and he made many promises – even as recently as August – that he would cover her tuition going forward.

Now, eight months after this inheritance, tuition is due and Ex is broke. My daughter is super stressed and having anxiety and panic attacks. I am going to sell a car and try to help any way I can, but I am just disgusted with him. Again. My policy has always been to try to be civil with him and not badmouth him to the kids. They will discover in their own time what their dad is truly like, and my older son definitely has.

Here is the question: Jane thinks this current situation is somewhat my fault for not telling the kids what he is like and that he’s an a$$hole and a POS in the 10 years since he left and that I’m too nice and it has caused my daughter to think he is a stand-up guy. I always answered their questions honestly, like when they asked where their savings account $ went, I told them. Jane thinks I need to cut ties and tell them exactly what I think of him. I think she needs to butt out of this one because, while she loves my kids too, she has her own issues with him from their marriage. However, I’m also feeling tremendous mom-guilt because I kind of saw this coming, but I hoped he would do better. Who wants to say that you better get that money now because your dad will piss it all away? Even I thought 100k would last longer than eight months.