Now I’m dating a 39-year-old guy; he was married in his twenties for one year, things didn’t work out for them, and he got divorced. I like his way of thinking/the way he sees the world, and I have a great respect for him. The two problems are: I think he is not a good looking guy — he has an attractive body but not a pretty face. The other thing that I find myself thinking about is that he is just finishing graduate school and works a temporary, part-time student’s job. When I told my friend about that, she told me that she thinks it’s not a good sign and that he should’ve been in a better place by now because he is not that young anymore.

Gary told me in the early stages of our dating that he had a friend’s wedding coming up and his ex was going to it. I found that pretty troubling but decided that when I went I’d put on a happy face and genuinely be kind to her if I saw her there.

Then a few weeks later I found her old nudes on my boyfriend’s phone. He promised there was nothing going on and that they were just old photos he hadn’t deleted yet; he said he never looks at them and forgot they were there. I chose to believe him as everything else between us is so perfect.

But seeing those nudes of his ex on his phone has made me not want to attend the wedding. After telling him I wasn’t sure about going, he informed me that I wasn’t invited anyway as he and his ex were invited as a couple and aren’t now allowed plus ones after breaking up.

My question is: Should he still go? Should I let him go and should I then get over it even though I have been anxious for weeks, am hurt that he still wants to go, and am uncomfortable with the whole idea? He doesn’t want to upset me, but he also says he doesn’t want to upset the bride and groom. (Yet he is not in the wedding party and told me that he is not that close with the couple.)