The trip of almost three weeks required her to be having sex with him and essentially acting as his girlfriend. She wants monogamy and I do also. She said she’d understand if I slept with someone else over the same time period but didn’t want us to automatically be “open.”

I flip-flopped emotionally trying to get my head and heart in the right place. She helped but had a harder time understanding why it was so difficult for me. I value the intimacy of sex with one person as a very important part of a relationship. When someone “devalues” sex by sleeping with someone else, it really pains me.

She left on the trip a week ago. She’s texted saying she has just had to numb out and put up “castle thick” walls. She says all the right words and totally avoids any comments or descriptions about him or their sex life, but I’m so distraught. I don’t know if I’ll be ok when she gets back. I might not even be able to approach intimacy.

My boyfriend lives in Georgia, and I want to move there after graduation. My mom and sister act like I’d be abandoning my sons though. Their dad will still be in Illinois, and although they are welcome to move with me, I doubt they will because they don’t want to leave friends.

I have been visiting my boyfriend a few times during the year for 3-4 weeks at a time, and my mom makes it a big deal because I am leaving my sons with their dad. The backstory is their dad isn’t very involved – he is “just there” and I am expected to do everything for them. They are supposed to go to his house every other week but don’t always stick to that plan.