Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Joanie had a birthday last weekend (she’s three!) and I took this photo of the kids during the festivities. I didn’t realize until I shot the picture that they were dressed in a theme, but there you go. They’re sucking on lollipops because instead of a birthday cake, I made a lollipop bouquet for the birthday girl who hates cake and most desserts (if she didn’t look like a carbon copy of her big brother, I’d question whether she was switched at birth for a baby who inherited my enormous sweet tooth…).

Anyway, summer is in full swing around here. After a couple weeks of no school or much structure at all, Jackson went to circus camp this week, where he learned to walk on stilts, juggle scarves, spin plates on his finger, and was even a featured performer in the big show as a beat boxer — a skill he’s been developing over the past couple months. Joanie will try her first taste of camp herself when she joins Jackson for a couple days of theater camp later this month. The theme will be “Annie” – their favorite musical.

In September, Joanie starts preschool a couple days a week, and because of the change in schedule, our part-time nanny, who’s been with us three mornings a week every week for 6 1/2 years, will be taking a new job. We’ve all been sad about it and a little anxious. But as she said to the kids the other day: “You guys are growing up.” It’s true — and there’s nothing I can do to slow it down, even if I wanted to. So I am doing my best to embrace these days that the kids are still young — the chaos, the joy, even the heartache, knowing one day soon I’m going to miss it all. Well, except the early mornings.

Hope you are also embracing your summer, whatever it holds for you. Have a great weekend! xo

PS There is still an ongoing extraordinary grassroots effort to reunite migrant parents with the children the US government kidnapped from them. As I’ve mentioned before a (loosely organized) network of concerned citizens (most of them angry moms) here in NYC is collecting donations and volunteers to help bond out detained parents at the border and drive them thousands of miles across the country to reunite them with their children and get them set up with housing and legal representation. Here’s the story of one such mom’s journey last week. You can donate to her fund, as well as the funds of several other moms being reunited with their children with the help solely of volunteers and donors like you, right here. Thank you!!

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Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

What Is Emotional Labor In Relationships? It’s What You Put Into Making Your Partnership Work

Why Won’t Any of My Friends Set Me Up?

The Power of Positive People: Are your friendships giving you a boost or bringing you down? (Well, I guess if they aren’t setting you up, they might be bringing you down…)

Related to this thread in the forums: The World Doesn’t Bend for Disabled Kids (or Disabled Parents) is a beautfully-written and provocative essay. If you’re a parent of a child who is different from his or her peers — physically and/or neurologically – I think you will be able to relate to at least some of it.

For all your job-hunters: ‘Find Your Passion’ Is Awful Advice. A major new study questions the common wisdom about how we should choose our careers.

U.S. Opposition to Breast-Feeding Resolution Stuns World Health Officials

“Her case shows that the retreat from zero tolerance could be as messy and painful as the launch, as she and other immigrant families seek to be reunited with their children, while pursuing separate claims for asylum.” ProPublica: The 6-Year-Old Heard on Border Facility Audiotape Is Still Separated From Her Mother.

Related: As Migrant Families Are Reunited, Some Children Don’t Recognize Their Mothers

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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My girlfriend and I moved into our first place together. We’re both in our late 20s and work as nurses at a local hospital not too far away. In our home, right off the garage is a mud/laundry room. Our normal routine after we get home from work is to shuck our scrubs right into the laundry so the crud from work doesn’t track in.

I recently threw a surprise birthday party for her. We all heard the garage door and took our quiet hiding places. During that delay, it started to occur to me that she was probably stripping down like usual in the laundry room, something I just didn’t think of when planning the party. I quickly ran to the door separating the laundry room from the living space, but was too late as she walked in naked except for her panties to a crowd shouting “surprise!”. She was mortified and quickly slipped back into the laundry room and cried for the next hour, refusing to come out. Wendy, our guestlist was pretty substantial, consisting of her parents, my parents, friends and co-workers. Even her managers came to the party.

She’s still so upset and is holding this grudge against me. It’s really changed our relationship. I don’t know what to do or say. I further messed things up, trying to console her by talking about how nice her body looks and how she shouldn’t be ashamed of it. That little tid-bit only further enraged her toward me. She’s totally closed off from me now. It’s been three weeks with no intimacy and just a very, very cold shoulder. I don’t want this to end us. What can I do or say? — Unhappy Surprise

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I’m loving this hydrogel eye mask that helps reduce puffiness and dark circles. It feels relaxing to wear, and it’s pretty much the coolest-looking mask I’ve worn since I dressed up as Casper the Friendly Ghost in 1981. And it works!

I made this corn salad yesterday when we had friends over for dinner and it was a crowd-pleaser. I am debating making it every day for the rest of the summer, it was that good.

Madewell is having a 30% off of sale prices, which means this lovely tote is now marked down from $158 to $87.

I bought this dress for myself for the summer and it’s quickly become my favorite thing to wear on a hot day. I get compliments on it all the time. It’s on sale at Bloomingdales, and marked down even more at Macy’s if you wear a L or XL.

I love my Frye sneakers — they’re super comfortable and durable — and wear them pretty much every day through the spring and fall (and some cooler days in the summer). These are the same ones I have, but in a different color, and are currently 55% off.

My fave underwear is 50% off, so that means it’s time for my semi-annual stock-up. If you haven’t tried these yet, I highly recommend!

If you have a kid between the ages of like 6-9 and you’re looking for something to keep him or her occupied this summer, this might be your answer. Jackson actually got one as a gift for Christmas, but it’s only been since school let out and we’ve hosted a few get-togethers with family friends that a full-fledged trend as begun among his peers around this thing, where kids are begging their parents to get them one and asking Jackson to give them one as a gift for their birthdays. Only get it if you don’t mind your kid being quiet and out of your hair and out of trouble for an hour or two. 🙂

Wendy’s Weekly Picks,” is a feature in which I highlight stuff I like or recommend in fashion, gift ideas, home decor, makeup, websites, entertainment, and recipes. Some of the recommendations are affiliate products, which means I’ll receive a commission on any click-throughs or purchases you make through the links. Thanks for your support!

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I dated “Craig” ten years ago. Things went horribly wrong between us when I found out he was addicted to crack. I never did that with him nor did I want to. He put me in some pretty awful situations, Children’s Aid was called, he stole money from me, he stole gas; he was an addict and would do anything to get crack. I know it’s weird to say but he was the love of my life and always has been. I have never felt the way I felt about him with anyone else, including in the seven-year relationship I have just recently gotten out of. I lost touch with Craig for years, but I kept in touch with his mom.

I never in a million years thought Craig would ever get clean or ever come back to me, but since 2014 he has been clean. He came to visit in May of this year and then came back again, and he’s been staying here with me since. I’m 38 now and he is 43. He has apologized over and over for the horrible things that he did to me. In the few short weeks we have been together I see a totally different man than the one I fell in love with many years ago. He is treating me like a queen — helping me with finances (something he was never able to do before), buying me flowers, romancing me — something he never did before.

My son has met him (he was too young to remember him from before), and he really likes him. We have a connection like I can’t describe. However, my father still views him as an addict. He is away on vacation right now and will be back in August. I do not know how to explain to him that he isn’t the man he once was. He’s not a thief — he can be trusted. My dad is 78, and I don’t see him changing his mind about him. What do I do? — Treated Like a Queen

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