Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Omg, we made it to the weekend – hooray! What are you up to? Drew and I have a sitter tonight and nothing planned, which is always the best. We’re doin’ it old school – heading into the night and letting it take us where it might. (We’ve thrown around the idea of Caribbean food; this place, if you live in Brooklyn, is amazing.) The rest of the weekend will be: chilling; chores; and picnics. What are you up to?

PS If you’re looking for a unique and beautiful wedding gift, this fits the bill and is super marked down with code NGX0917GRT.

PPS A friend is working on a documentary series about women trying to conceive much later in life – naturally or with medical intervention. The filmmakers are looking to cast women interested in sharing their miraculous stories. If you or anyone you know fits that description, please reach out to: [email protected] booking(at) Thanks!


Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

What Sleeping With Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity (Spoiler: Men wish their wives would have sex with them so they wouldn’t feel tempted to find it elsewhere.)

A new study says that it takes roughly 90 hours (of hanging out together [work doesn’t count]) to make a friend.

The year of the woman continues as Southwest Airlines pilot Tammie Jo Shults stayed cool as a cucumber when an engine on the plane she was flying exploded and she landed safely and calmly. While it should not be a surprise that, of course, a woman is capable of such extraordinary work, “the image of the hero pilot as a ‘he’ made some reports erroneous.” CBS, for example, reported that “everyone clapped and praised the pilot after he set the aircraft down.” Nope – he was a she, and she was amazing.

5 Couples Share Their Secrets For Keeping Sex Alive In A Long-Term Relationship

Mind the gap – does age difference in relationships matter?

In China and India, where “a combination of cultural preferences, government decree and modern medical technology has created a gender imbalance on a continental scale,” men now outnumber women by 70 million! “The consequences of having too many men, now coming of age, are far-reaching: Beyond an epidemic of loneliness, the imbalance distorts labor markets, drives up savings rates in China and drives down consumption, artificially inflates certain property values, and parallels increases in violent crime, trafficking or prostitution in a growing number of locations.” Yikes.

Moving in Together? Five Tips from an Advice Columnist Who’s Heard It All (Yes to #1!)

Sen. Duckworth makes history, casts vote with baby on Senate floor

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

Follow along on Facebook, and Instagram.

I am 27 years old and had a serious relationship two years ago, which was my first true love experience. There were certain issues he and I didn’t agree on, like values and beliefs, so, unfortunately, we had to leave each other. Half a year after our break up I tried to call him back and fix things with him, but he said he is not interested and he is in a different place now. I know his real reason was that he knew we wouldn’t be happy together and that getting back together wouldn’t solve our issues. Even though two years have passed, sometimes I feel I haven’t gotten over him yet. I go on dates, but at the end, when things don’t work with other guys, I always end up thinking about him.

Now I’m dating a 39-year-old guy; he was married in his twenties for one year, things didn’t work out for them, and he got divorced. I like his way of thinking/the way he sees the world, and I have a great respect for him. The two problems are: I think he is not a good looking guy — he has an attractive body but not a pretty face. The other thing that I find myself thinking about is that he is just finishing graduate school and works a temporary, part-time student’s job. When I told my friend about that, she told me that she thinks it’s not a good sign and that he should’ve been in a better place by now because he is not that young anymore.

I am really confused because I can feel that he is a good man, has a strong character, is very committed, and is not shallow. However, I can’t avoid thinking about the things I just wrote. I feel that a serious relationship can really do me good now. I badly need someone in my life. I would appreciate your advice on this! — Looking for a Pretty Face

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About six months ago I started dating an amazing guy, Gary; we clicked instantly and for the first time I started an adult relationship. Within weeks I moved in with him, and a few months later we are considering getting married. I know it sounds crazy, but when it’s right, it’s right.

Gary told me in the early stages of our dating that he had a friend’s wedding coming up and his ex was going to it. I found that pretty troubling but decided that when I went I’d put on a happy face and genuinely be kind to her if I saw her there.

Then a few weeks later I found her old nudes on my boyfriend’s phone. He promised there was nothing going on and that they were just old photos he hadn’t deleted yet; he said he never looks at them and forgot they were there. I chose to believe him as everything else between us is so perfect.

But seeing those nudes of his ex on his phone has made me not want to attend the wedding. After telling him I wasn’t sure about going, he informed me that I wasn’t invited anyway as he and his ex were invited as a couple and aren’t now allowed plus ones after breaking up.

My question is: Should he still go? Should I let him go and should I then get over it even though I have been anxious for weeks, am hurt that he still wants to go, and am uncomfortable with the whole idea? He doesn’t want to upset me, but he also says he doesn’t want to upset the bride and groom. (Yet he is not in the wedding party and told me that he is not that close with the couple.)

Please help — the wedding is this weekend and nothing is decided with us. — Nude to This

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Remember shortly after we bought our place, there was lots of drama, and I plummeted into a bit of despair? [click to continue…]