Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I will be taking some time off during this very challenging time to home school my kids, spend lots (and lots and lots) of time with my family at home, and to rest and stay healthy. You can follow me on Instagram, and I will follow along with you here on the forums, though I won’t comment as much. I’m wishing you and your loved ones good health and strength.

I’m dating someone, “Ryan,” who was in a relationship for seven months with someone I knew. She had a son and a daughter. He pursued me after they had broken up which, from my understanding, was her idea. Since then, she found out he was talking to me and immediately got hateful. She and I were never buddy-buddy; she only watched my son for a little while, but she says I’ve betrayed her. Well, Ryan said he understands her reasoning, which doesn’t make sense to me. Also, apparently while they dated for seven months, Ryan grew attached to her daughter, “Allison.” Allison apparently wanted him in her life and calls him her “second dad.” Her mom tends to pawn her kids off as much as she can, and with her kids’ dad moving to Mississippi, the only option she has is my boyfriend.

I asked Ryan to please let Allison be and to let her move on because he now has me and my son, but he’s focused on her. He’s threatened our relationship multiple times, saying that if I can’t accept this, then I need to leave. Am I in the wrong for voicing my concern? He seems to think everything should be seen his way, and I don’t think that’s right. — Concerned

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Over the years, I’ve shared 15 Things Couples Should Do Before Moving in Together, 17 things every couple must discuss before they get married, and 20 Things Everyone Should Do Before Having Kids. Today I have a new list for a new milestone many of us are experiencing – some for the first time ever: working from home with our significant others. As someone who has worked from home for 12 years, the past two of which have been with my husband working from home part-time too, I feel pretty qualified to give some tips. And so, below, eight great tips for working from home with your partner or spouse during a pandemic:
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My husband, “Joe,” and I have 2-1/2-year-old. Joe has changed her diaper twice – both times in the hospital. He has never bathed her or prepared her a meal, and he has only put her to bed a handful of times, after I’ve asked. He also does not do housework at all unless I get upset. This is not the main problem though. We run a pub; it is leased in both our names. Obviously, with the pandemic, we have been told to close. Before this, we were on the back foot financially and have racked up a bit of debt. I worry because we borrowed from my sister and brother whom I don’t think we can pay back if we don’t recover from this.

Tonight I found out my husband has also been doing coke. I hate drugs of any kind and recently told staff I will sack them on the spot if I catch them using. There are rumors that one of our bartenders deals the stuff. I’ve mentioned to Joe that we should let him go if the rumors are true, and my husband has defended him. I now think it’s because he’s buying stuff from him, too. My question is: During this uncertain time is it wise leaving him and the business?

I should also add we have not had a regular physical relationship since our daughter was born. I am worried about the uncertainty of the time and a divorce, but I can’t live with a man who does something that could ruin us completely as well as doing something I hate. — Tough Spot

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Hello! I don’t even know what to say. This has been one of the strangest, scariest weeks ever and I know it’s just the tip of the iceberg. I hope all of you are safe and healthy and managing to handle these rapid changes with as much grace and patience and strength as you can muster. I’m grateful for this DW community — for the camaraderie and the small amount of income it allows me to make at home while I figure out, like a lot of you, how to juggle the demands of around-the-clock parenting, practice some self-care, and contribute in whatever ways I can to my various communities. It feels weird to wish anyone a nice weekend, so instead I’ll wish you moments of peace and calm. Here are some links that may give you some ideas for weathering this oncoming storm:

My Ex and I Fought About Everything. Then Came the Coronavirus.

Easy Recipes to Cook While You’re Self-Quarantined

Celeste Ng, Ann Patchett, Min Jin Lee and Others on the Books That Bring Them Comfort

Walking the Dog Is the Only Time I Feel Sane

I thought this article was particularly helpful: How to Clean and Disinfect Yourself, Your Home, and Your Stuff

Top Tips For Surviving A Lockdown – From The People Living It Right Now

Here’s How To Support Local Businesses During The Coronavirus Pandemic

Also helpful (if you have older loved ones who are slow to take this pandemic seriously): A Psychologist Explains How to Get Elderly People to Take This Seriously

OMG, this is so deliciously awful it’s good: Celebs sing “Imagine”