Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekly Forum Highlights

Here’s what we’re discussing this week in the forums:

Do not know how to deal with widower feeling guilty dating me

Baby Shower Perspective/Etiquette

I met someone, but I screwed it all up because I’m afraid to be gay

Conflicted About Nephew’s / Godson’s Wedding invite

Siblings dispute regarding mother’s funeral

Did I do a terrible thing?

How can I stop being attracted to men?

Robert’s back

Anyone going on awesome dates?

My friend is pushing me away

Friend Cancelling Meet-Ups

Passions Vs. School and Stability

Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread


updatesYesterday’s LW, a 23-year-old young woman dating a 41-year-old man who lives with his parents, sent me an email after she saw my response and your comments, and though her reply isn’t so much an “update,” I thought it was worth highlighting here so that we may collectively help her – and maybe someone else in her situation reading this — see the light and avoid further trauma. Her response to yesterday’s column:
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I’m 23 and my boyfriend is 41. I’m finishing up my college degree, so I’m still living at home with my parents for a few more months. My boyfriend lives with his parents – he claims it saves money and is easier. He also said he was single before me, so he didn’t feel the need to have his own place. Since we’ve been dating, he was crashing at one of his rental properties, and he recently remodeled and sold it. For weeks I was under the impression that we would have that house as our space, and though not ideal, I was going to take what I could get. Now that he’s just sold it, we have no space to be together or have any alone time. My parents are not accepting of me being in a relationship, and being intimate at the house of his parents (whom I still haven’t met) is weird and limiting to me.

We’ve been having so many disagreements lately, and I feel that not having our own space is making it worse. We would have been able to spend all weekends together, but now that’s out of the picture unless he gets us a hotel room. I don’t want to feel like his mistress, and I shouldn’t have to. I don’t know what to do or where to even begin with him. He takes everything as a personal attack, so my attempting to talk about it with him would implode. Help!! — Not His Mistress

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