Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Hi! Thank you so much for the letters you’ve sent in response to my post yesterday, and for your donations to the DW drive for Black Voters Matter. There’s still time to contribute if you’d like to and haven’t yet. I’ll be making the donation, which my ad network will match, on Monday so you have until 5 EST Monday to PayPal a donation to me to include at [email protected]. We’re up to $400 and I’d love to make it an even $500 (for a total of $1000, when matched).

This weekend is Father’s Day, so I hope all you dads, including my husband and my own father, have a great day and feel the love. We’re headed to Drew’s brother’s place for the weekend – our first time away from Brooklyn in months – and the kids are super excited to spend time with their cousins (and their dog!).

Today is Juneteenth, the day we celebrate the end of slavery in the U.S. Here’s more about that, as well as some other links that might interest you:

What you need to know about Juneteenth and why we should all celebrate

From Juneteenth to the Tulsa massacre: What isn’t taught in classrooms has a profound impact

Calls To Make Juneteenth A Federal Holiday Gain Momentum

This was a landmark week in Supreme Court decisions! Here, the Supreme Court’s LGBTQ rights decision, explained in 5 simple sentences.

And here’s what the Court’s decision on DACA means

And coming up: Will the Supreme Court Strike a Devastating Blow to Abortion Rights?

Young People Are Having Less Sex Than Ever

This woman paid an Etsy psychic to draw her soulmate (if you know him, let her know!)

From Camping To Dining Out: Here’s How Experts Rate The Risks Of 14 Summer Activities (Which ones are you looking forward to?)


Hey, I need your help! Last month, Google did what’s called a “core algorithm update” which affects how websites rank in search results. Google does these updates a few times a year, but this was a really big one that negatively affected websites in a few key industries including relationship advice. What this means, essentially, is that my google traffic, which accounts for about 80% of my traffic, was abruptly cut in half during a global pandemic when my ad income had already plummeted about 75% and readership had dropped due to a change in peoples’ daily lifestyles. What’s worse than the missed income (from lost pageviews) though — at least there is temporary assistance for that — is the lost engagement, the missed growth, and worst of all for a website that depends on letters from new readers (who most often find the site by googling for relationship advice), I’m not getting many letters to answer these days (and, often, the ones I am getting are regarding questions I’ve answered a lot on the site already).

I really want to keep this site going, and I feel hopeful it can survive this sudden valley, but I need some help. Most of all, what I need are letters to respond to, so if you have a relationship question you think I might be able to address and you don’t mind it being published here (with names changed), please shoot me an email at wendy(AT) If you’re on Facebook, it’s helpful if you like my page and like posts (or share them!) so that they appear on more people’s timelines. Thank you so much, and thanks for sticking with me through this turbulent time.


Here’s what we’re discussing this week in the forums:

Meeting my Father??

He is with me for the money

Is my boyfriend falling out of love with me?

I have no purpose and feel like I am just existing

FWB: was it worth speaking up?

Embarrassed Daughter of Dementia Father

Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread

Follow along on Facebook and Instagram.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].


In an effort to address racial inequality and promote opportunity for Black folks, my ad network, Adthrive, is matching donations by its publishers/bloggers, dollar for dollar, to four organizations that are fighting for racial justice, opportunity, and reconciliation. I’ve chosen to donate to Black Voters Matter Fund, a Black-led organization dedicated to increasing voter registration and turnout. Organizers also advocate for “policies to expand voting rights/access, including expanded early voting, resisting voter ID, re-entry restoration of rights and strengthening the Voting Rights Act as well as policies that intersect with race, gender, economic and other aspects of equity. They help develop an infrastructure where little/none exists. This includes staff training, candidate development and network development.”

You can read more about the work of Black Voters Matter, which NBC News called a “radical way to mobilize Black voters in 2020,” here. The organization helped Doug Jones get elected as the first democratic senator of Alabama in 27 years, and you may have heard about a bus from a senior center that they were responsible for driving to a voting poll in Georgia in 2018 when Stacey Abrams was running for governor. (The seniors were asked to disembark by law enforcement in an obvious voter suppression tactic.)

Voting is the most important component of our democracy, and for too long Black votes have been intentionally and successfully suppressed. This is a great opportunity to fight that injustice and have each dollar that you donate doubled. If you’d like to join me in donating to this amazing cause, there are two ways you can do that. If you’d like your donation matched by my ad network, Adthrive, please PayPal your donation to me at [email protected] and I will add it my donation, which I plan to make on Monday, June 22. If you prefer to donate directly to the organization, and forgo the matching contribution by my ad network, you can do so here. Either way, the donations to this organization are not tax deductible as it’s a 501(c)(4) and not a 501(c)(3). I’ll send everyone who donates to the Dear Wendy pool what the total amount is on Monday. Thank so much!

I’m planning my wedding and have asked “Sue” to be my Matron-of-Honor after I was the Maid-of-Honor in her wedding. I’ve run into a conundrum with her that I’m not sure how to resolve. My fiancé and I picked out colors together and we chose a forest green color – not bright like emerald and not super dark either. Every photo of it we saw in other weddings looked gorgeous on the bridesmaids – all different hair colors, skin colors, and sizes looked good in it. Well, Sue hates it and is accusing me of trying to make her look bad. I’m trying my hardest to be accommodating. I’m not picking out a specific style — just matching up swatches from a few different online boutiques and shops local to us so that all of my bridesmaids have options to pick a style that flatters them. I don’t think she is going to look bad in this color at all; in fact, she would be the one I’d guess will look the best because she has pretty dark brown hair and a beautiful complexion, but she doesn’t believe me.

She hasn’t yet said “change the color or I’m out” but it’s kind of headed that way. Any advice on what my next steps should be? I’d ideally like to preserve our relationship and her role in the wedding as well as the wedding color we both like… but I’m not seeing a good way to do that and would love an outsider perspective. — Am I Being a Bridezilla?

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