alafair
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I live in the Los Angeles area. My company is a defense manufacturing subcontractor; we received notice from the DOD that we’re considered essential and need to stay open as long as possible. We have moved to a modified WFH/in office schedule where everyone is staggered. I’m in 2 days a week. No one is sharing spaces. The company has a cleaning rotation for common areas (which are pretty much deserted) and people are doing the best they can to stay away from each other. I’m terribly worried because after having a tumor removed I’m still considered immunocompromised. Also prediabetic which I control with exercise and diet. (All 4 grandparents were diabetic…)
I started this job less than a month ago. I won’t get insurance until the 1st. I’m absolutely counting the days. I’m grateful they are taking this seriously though.
Supermarkets still look like a post apocolyptic wasteland. Stipped shelves are the norm. Stress-cleaned the garage and found a box of individually wrapped paper towels that I bought last year to clean up after art projects. So now I’ve been dealing with my stress by giving the paper towels to strangers in need via nextdoor. We meet in the park and keep a socially responsible 6 feet away from each other. I drop a roll of papertowels and then back away slowly while the other person waits to pick it up. I’m sure it looks like the weirdest drug deal ever going down. This is what I can do to help though, so it’s what I’m doing.
@Copa – Ha! You are exactly right. I really was worried about not meeting his people. And then I was so stressed about finally meeting his people.
your BG (I think I mentioned here that I met the AG on Bumble too?) sounds like such a good person. I’d have the major heart eyes all day too. I’m so happy for you.
@TheHizzy – I love the wedding updates. It makes me smile every single time.So I to am in denial about the sick thing. The sneezing and body aches mean nothing!!
so I took everyone’s advice on the wine tasting thing and wore a nice top, slacks and a pair of ballet flats. decided against extra makeup but went and had a mani so I felt more confident. Before the event the AG and I went out to eat…where someone promptly spilled their drink with me in the splash zone. Luckily I was a bit nervous so I had brought an extra dress with me, in case I felt like I was underdressed when I saw him. So I changed into dress, dealt with having cold legs and away we went.
I was nervous for the first hour but it was so good to meet his people and learn a few new pieces of him. All in all went well and I’m so glad we did it. Thanks for all the fashion advice guys!
Yesterday the AG texts me and says all casual like – “hey my cousin is back and is having an annual wine tasting party thingie this weekend. Wanna go?” One aunt and uncle and their adult children are the only family he has in the state. He doesn’t see them all very often because of schedules, but I know they are super important to him.
We’ve been dating for 8, 9 months and I haven’t met any of his people yet (other than his amazing realtor friend) so I’m very nervous. There’s going to be a mix of like 20 of his friends/family there. I also have no idea what you wear to a casual wine tasting thing in someone’s house. I’m in the LA area, so it’ll be cold but clear tomorrow I think.
So I am becoming THAT LADY today. My brain is kinda going into overdrive. I’ve actually been thinking about throwing myself at the mercy of the MAC or Bare minerals counter ladies and buying makeup (I normally slap on moisturizer and lipstick and call it good) I could use a good talking down today! The last time I met the significant other’s family was over 14 years ago.
I am so very glad that I’m not the only one! I don’t like Valentine’s Day crowds; most of the time it makes me sad because there’s always some couple who can barely look at each other eating silently, or when you can tell they just dont like each other anymore. I told the AG he makes me feel wanted every day and that’s enough; buy me something silly if he feels like he needs to. On his last work trip he went to Vienna and brought me back a ridiculously painted cowbell – I love the thing more than the “serious” gift he bought me. I guess its because he saw something, thought it would make me smile and got it for no other reason? He still looks at me like I’m an alien sometimes though.
@veritek33 – your rings choices are so pretty! I’m very excited for you.
I really have been enjoying all the different rings and stuff people are getting. The variety and individuality of taking that symbol and making it just yours really speak to me.
@Ale – it’s ok to take a while to process your feelings on something like that. It’s not being difficult at all. He’s just trying to deflect some of the blame for his weirdness on you. I wouldn’t even consider being friends with someone who did this – not because of the video; we could of talked about that and come through it, but because his instinct was to low key gaslight you for his failings. And that’s not ok.Here’s a question for the group – what do you do for Valentine’s day? I’ve mentioned before that I took a longer break (7+ years!) from dating to get myself in the right space. Valentines day for me has meant hanging out with the kids and making fun cupcakes then watching movies with them and buying chocolate the day after. So when the day came up in convo the AG asked me about it and what I told him I wanted. I waited till he was drinking water, then said “sex”. Which was funny 🙂 When he finished sputtering I told him that I don’t require shiny or expensive things for arbitrary dates; I’d rather he just spend the time with me. To me a day of staying in, getting takeout and eating it in bed after and then watching some random show sounds perfect. I guess his ex liked the really shiny things cause he looked at me like I was setting a trap for him. I explained I really meant it and now I’m hoping we don’t end up in some fancy restaurant neither of us wants to be in cause he’s not sure if I meant what I said.
I got him a vinyl of an album he played for me on our recent trip from a band big in his country of origin. I have this wonderful memory of him driving with a small smile on his face drumming on the steering wheel and just looking happy. I’ll probably bake something decadent for him too. But it’s our first valentine’s day, apparently I’m an outlier in his experience and I don’t want to disappoint him. Should I go looking for something else to go with the album?
@Ale – I’m so sorry that happened. But at least you know now. I admire you taking the time to refocus on what you need and taking that breather…and the inka trail sounds exciting!
@Copa – that’s awesome! You are doing so well. I’m getting inspired to get off my still dragging from sick butt and restart my exercise routine.
My update – I guess I was quiet yesterday because the AG asked me what was up. So I told him it was time we had the dreaded relationship talk – that I was worried because he didn’t introduce me to his people and seemed disinclined from meeting mine. I told him I hadn’t planned on bringing it up till this sprint (work thing) is over because I didn’t want him to feel even more pressure right now.
He said basically he hadn’t realized we hadn’t done that, because his time has been so packed and he hasn’t hung out with too many friends over the last few months. Work, travel, buying and remodeling a house and spending time with me have eaten up his free time. We made tentative plans to meet each other’s people when the sprint is over. We also talked about what we want longer term – neither of us wants marriage again, so that’s a relief to be on the same page. We really are in a good place.
The nice thing was, this is one of the first few serious discussions we’ve had, and we “argue” well together – no one did any of the dramatic explosive anger types of things my ex used to. Instead we listened to each other and talked while being close. I felt like he heard me and I heard him and at the end of our discussion we understood each other better than ever.
Tonight I have a date with my sons to go see the Dragonballz Broly movie (anime) thats in theaters for a couple of days. The boys are excited so I’m looking forward to it.
@JD – as part of the preop investigation stuff my doctor made me give up coffee. It was BRUTAL. I used to have a pot/pot and a half daily habit. My doctor (she’s a smartass and I adore her) just looked at me dryly when I fessed up and said, “no that much caffeine and acid is not going to do you or that tumor any favors”. I had a brutal 6 weeks detox, and now I drink 2-3 cups a week, because I never want to go through withdrawal like that again.
good luck.
@veritek – so exciting to see how well you guys are settling in. I’m really happy for you 🙂
My update – So me and the AG haven’t had the “where are we” talk yet re: meeting each other’s people, mainly because he’s been incredibly busy. He’s got a hard work deadline coming up here in 2 weeks and is busy making up the time he took to have a 5 day vacation with me. He’s been at work till 900pm ish most nights. So when we do get to spend time together, I want for him to relax. I understand the pressures of his work gig and don’t really want to steal focus from the work he does.
I’ve also noticed that most of his people are spread out over the world, so meeting them will be hard. I know he’s told his kids about me, which is significant. So right now I’m just taking a deep breath and waiting till things settle down a bit before I broach the subject.
I did the gel dip nails. I wasn’t a fan; the thickness reminded me of acrylics. That was at a salon I was just testing out though; maybe I should try it again?
Regular gelish manicures are a weakness though. I dont wear a lot of makeup (Like, its a good day when I remember my moisturizer AND lipstick) but I love having feminine looking hands.re: food. I have some weird dietary restrictions due to having had the stomach tumors removed. I should be doing what my surgeon called keto-lite. (Low sugar, higher protein basically) Problem is one of my traditions for the kids involves lots of baking. So I ate sugar and I’m dead tired all the time right now. One of the ladies in my office just walked in, looked at me and said “you look really sick. Are you ok?” great for the ego lol. I had jaundice before they took out the tumors, so I’ve spent a good 10 minutes trying to figure out if my eyes were yellowing again.
Definitely time to get back on the dietary wagon.
@veritek33 – even if all of the keys are accounted for, please consider getting the locks changed. It’s so very easy to make a copy and slip the original back. My ex did this when things were escalating. I’m not saying they will go that way of course, but its such a small measure to keep yourself safe.
The AG and I just got back from 5 days together, our first trip when he got back from a 6 week business/see the family thing. The trip went really well, turns out we travel great together.
We’re in such a good, if odd place. I haven’t met his friends yet, and he hasn’t met mine. (I met his realtor friend when he was looking at houses, but that’s it.) Neither of us are very good at the whole socializing thing, but I have to admit I’m starting to be concerned. Part of the issue is that meeting my friends IS meeting my family (my biological family left me a long time ago). This is probably the biggest reason I haven’t said the words that keep circling in my head when I see him…I believe he’s in a different spot than I am, emotionally speaking. I am trying very hard to just live in the moment and be grateful for what I have now, for what I feel now. Still, at 8 months in, I’m starting to worry.
@Veritek – how did the interview and thanksgiving go?
@copa – he sounds like a really nice man. I am so excited for you 🙂
In my world, its been more than 6 months since I started seeing the AG. He’s still awesome. We are in a good, relaxing place right now. He’s traveling and having reno work done on the house he recently bought. I currently have keys to his house, to help with the contractors coming and going, his car in my garage and…his guitar in my closet (he was worried it’d be damaged during reno). It’s a lot of trust, but to me the guitar means the most. I can see him playing when I look at it, and I know he loves that guitar.
I cant wait till he comes back home.
