Ale
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Yeah, I don’t think he is a monster either. I also think he is really immature at least emotionally. I got invested in all of what he said, he seemed so genuine, and now I feel like an idiot for trusting him again. I’m certain he won’t talk to me at least not if I don’t make contact first, which I won’t.
I said a lot of things to him, I poured my heart and all he could say was “ok”. When I told him to never contact me again he didn’t even answer. So, yeah I can’t be with someone like that. He is definitely not the guy for me.I’ve been looking for a new job for about two months, however nothing is good as this one. Basically any other job would be a step down from this one. There is a dream job that I applied to, but they never got back to me. So, I’ll just keep looking. We work in different departments now, so I almost never see him. But when he wants to be seen, he is seen, like this morning. So, I’ll prepare for some of those appearances. I know he does it so he can have some leverage over me, some sort of “here I am, look at me, look at what you’ve lost”, sort of thing.
I actually blocked his number yesterday. I also got out of every group chat I was with him. I also asked him to leave mi family chat (he was still in there). I blocked him on Instagram (earlier I had just unfollowed him, but he was still following me) and deleted him from my followers. I also blocked any friend in common we had so I can’t see anything. I doubt he’ll talk to me (knowing his ego, me telling him to pretend I was dead yesterday may have been a slap in his face) but more of his displays will come.That’s the thing, I don’t think I can get a job better than this one. So, I’m stuck here for the moment. But yeah, I know he’ll keep playing his games and that’s what I want to avoid. Like why, if I told you yesterday to not talk to me again do you show up at the same exact time you know where I’ll be?
At first I didn’t flip out on him I tried to explain how I felt and his only response was “ok”. To my messages about never talking to me again he didn’t even reply anything. How can I be with someone whose only reply to a matter like this is “ok”?So, I went and came from the beach with my friends and it was kind of a little boring, but had some fun some times. We are all on our early thirties so maybe that’s why the partying days are over.
When my ex told me that he wanted to get back together and I told him I didn’t know, we decided to keep in touch and see where things went. I wasn’t really considering the whole thing, and had my mind set on not going back together at least for the rest of 2017, but decided to keep in touch. We were supposed to have coffee yesterday, and then he decided that he didn’t want to see me. I asked why and he just said “I just don’t want to”, and proceeded to tell me that he didn’t really want to get back together with me and he didn’t want to see me at work. So, he changed his mind in a day because the day before he was just telling me how important I was in his life and how I had made him a better man.
I got so mad, but so mad, I told him to never talk to me again and to pretend that I’m dead. I treated him bad and I hope he never talks to me again. But then he showed up at work earlier than expected, when he KNOWS I’m having breakfast just to show off.
So why am I telling this? I know you all told me not to go there. My family and my friends also told me that. I believed that his intentions were genuine. You could all tell me “I told you so, we told you so”. And I know. But I keep posting about this because maybe there’s someone in the same situation as I am or was. And This could be helping someone NOT to make the same stupid decisions I have. I’m set now and it’s over. I want to start looking for another job or something to be gone far away.I met one of my closest friends playing SongPop on Facebook, lol.
@Veritek I’m sorry about the job. Sooo cliche, but yeah, better things will come along.
We are not back together or dating. We went for coffee once, a week ago and we have continued texting since he told me about his dog, scarcely though. Before that we had no contact, only the ocassional hello at work.
It’s going to be three months since we broke up, and I’m fully aware that this wouldn’t work out right now. We would both need more time if we were ever to think about getting back together again and we both need to think and deal with our issues on our own.
I’m taking a break anyways, I decided that when I started talking to the german dude. If it didn’t work out, I wasn’t going to pursue online dating or any other type of dating for the rest of 2017.@Veritek I don’t know if I would have answered the texts, I would have been curious to know why he set up a date in the first place or I would have scolded the guy. Or maybe if I was interested, I would have told him that I would be paying for my meal. I think there are a lot of possible interpretations of his texts, he could be dissapointed due to past dates. Not cool to text someone you don’t know at 3 am. But then again, he could have been regretting standing you up.
I texted that german dude last week to set up a coffee date. He never answered. So, bye.
Three weeks ago my ex boyfriend’s dog died. I loved that dog, and he did too. He cried his eyes out, or so he says.
Anyways, we weren’t talking but I didn’t have him blocked or anything. He told me at work that his dog had died, since he knew how much I loved that dog. We started talking and texting regularly. Then last week we went for coffee. He told me he really misses me. Also told me he is in therapy, and has been going weekly. He says he wants a life with me and that he always has but our relationship had become too much for him and we were fighting a lot and he couldn’t stand it. I told him that I would think about it. I miss him too and I am not over him yet. But I don’t want to get back together without a plan or knowing what went wrong. I also wouldn’t want to think that all of this is because of grief, which he says is not. He agreed we need more time apart but this is all new to me. I didn’t know he felt that way.
I am going to the beach with friends for a week starting Saturday and I can’t wait. I’ll have some time to think then.I would like to do it too. It sounds interesting. And I can kind of see how it would help see things you want as goals so you can work in achieving them.
I’m not saying it’s wrong to say it so early. I’m saying it was surprising for me. If you don’t want kids, then maybe put it in your profile. I matched with him because it didn’t say anything. I won’t waste anyone’s time because I don’t know.
@MissDre I don’t think they’re absolutely sure they want kids. But they want to have the possibility. If someone is on the fence about kids and you come and tell them you downright don’t want them, it brings up a lot of questions.
I know this because I matched with a 39 year old on Tinder about two months ago. He seemed cool, we talked for a bit and then he bluntly asks (still on Tinder) “do you want to have kids?” I was surprised that question could come up so early. So I answered I don’t know… why?
And he said he had a vasectomy and he wanted to make it clear since the beginning. I was shocked at having to decide right there and then if I wanted kids. I DON’T need kids in my life but I don’t know if I’ll ever want them, so I want to have the possibility. And to just have to decide that right there shocked me. We didn’t continue talking after that.
So, I guess it comes down to three kinds of people: people who strongly want kids, people who are on the fence and people who strongly don’t want them.@MissDre at least you know that he is willing to have the difficult conversations with you which means he is serious and he sees a future.
Long distance is hard and it must be harder on him since he moved to a different country.
@Veritek sorry for that, but I bet margaritas were better than what the date could have been.German dude texted me from his trip. We now have a coffee date coming up.
