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@TheLadyE it’s ok to feel sad right now. You had great expectations. What is not ok is to keep dwelling on the reasons for the break up.
I had a relationship for a long time (aprox. 7 years) and when my ex broke up with me it was out of the blue. It was a bucket of cold iced water over my head. I couldn’t believe how he would throw away something so good. Well, with time I was realized that things were great… for me. Things were not at all great for him. And he had hinted that for a long time before, I just never saw it.
I’m sorry to tell you this, but maybe it wasn’t so good for him. He ended it. And eventually you’ll see it. It was good for you now because it was new and fresh and you thought you were compatible but maybe in the long run you weren’t really that compatible. Only time and understanding will give you that.
Thankfully it was short and you can move on without any hassle, and thankfully he didn’t make you waste any more time.Well, if he’s not emotionally mature enough yet the you dodged a huge bullet.
@MissDre what does your boyfriend say when you tell him you won’t be ready to move until next summer?
@LadyE I’m sorry, I think we all know how excited you were about him. However, the red flags WERE there. Everything happened really fast, I remember you talking about giving your number to a neighbour and then you had a boyfriend. This is not so you feel guilty or worse, but you will gain clarity over time and will probably realize that it was fast.
Now, listen to sad music, no contact with him, ice cream, working out and you’ll be fine in a minute.@Copa, good to know that you had fun on your date. I might sound like a creep but I actually thought about you yesterday and wanted to know how your date was-
@MissDre yes, you can apply for a spouse visa even if he is not a citizen.I’m going to a much-awaited brunch with my best friend that just returned from France. This will be a french-kind of british themed brunch, complete with Mimosas and everything to welcome her and also, to say good bye to a new friend we made this year that is leaving for the UK. I can’t wait.
@The Hizzy I’m sorry about your coworker. My neighbor passed away recently from cancer and we didn’t know. We stopped seeing her but we figured that it was due to some trip or something. Her husband was really distraught, like never saying good morning to us when we bumped into each other, and we thought he was rude. Turns out he was dealing with her wife sick from cancer. She died two months ago and we found out because we saw them moving. She had a 16 year old daughter.
Yeah, I don’t think he is a monster either. I also think he is really immature at least emotionally. I got invested in all of what he said, he seemed so genuine, and now I feel like an idiot for trusting him again. I’m certain he won’t talk to me at least not if I don’t make contact first, which I won’t.
I said a lot of things to him, I poured my heart and all he could say was “ok”. When I told him to never contact me again he didn’t even answer. So, yeah I can’t be with someone like that. He is definitely not the guy for me.I’ve been looking for a new job for about two months, however nothing is good as this one. Basically any other job would be a step down from this one. There is a dream job that I applied to, but they never got back to me. So, I’ll just keep looking. We work in different departments now, so I almost never see him. But when he wants to be seen, he is seen, like this morning. So, I’ll prepare for some of those appearances. I know he does it so he can have some leverage over me, some sort of “here I am, look at me, look at what you’ve lost”, sort of thing.
I actually blocked his number yesterday. I also got out of every group chat I was with him. I also asked him to leave mi family chat (he was still in there). I blocked him on Instagram (earlier I had just unfollowed him, but he was still following me) and deleted him from my followers. I also blocked any friend in common we had so I can’t see anything. I doubt he’ll talk to me (knowing his ego, me telling him to pretend I was dead yesterday may have been a slap in his face) but more of his displays will come.That’s the thing, I don’t think I can get a job better than this one. So, I’m stuck here for the moment. But yeah, I know he’ll keep playing his games and that’s what I want to avoid. Like why, if I told you yesterday to not talk to me again do you show up at the same exact time you know where I’ll be?
At first I didn’t flip out on him I tried to explain how I felt and his only response was “ok”. To my messages about never talking to me again he didn’t even reply anything. How can I be with someone whose only reply to a matter like this is “ok”?So, I went and came from the beach with my friends and it was kind of a little boring, but had some fun some times. We are all on our early thirties so maybe that’s why the partying days are over.
When my ex told me that he wanted to get back together and I told him I didn’t know, we decided to keep in touch and see where things went. I wasn’t really considering the whole thing, and had my mind set on not going back together at least for the rest of 2017, but decided to keep in touch. We were supposed to have coffee yesterday, and then he decided that he didn’t want to see me. I asked why and he just said “I just don’t want to”, and proceeded to tell me that he didn’t really want to get back together with me and he didn’t want to see me at work. So, he changed his mind in a day because the day before he was just telling me how important I was in his life and how I had made him a better man.
I got so mad, but so mad, I told him to never talk to me again and to pretend that I’m dead. I treated him bad and I hope he never talks to me again. But then he showed up at work earlier than expected, when he KNOWS I’m having breakfast just to show off.
So why am I telling this? I know you all told me not to go there. My family and my friends also told me that. I believed that his intentions were genuine. You could all tell me “I told you so, we told you so”. And I know. But I keep posting about this because maybe there’s someone in the same situation as I am or was. And This could be helping someone NOT to make the same stupid decisions I have. I’m set now and it’s over. I want to start looking for another job or something to be gone far away.I met one of my closest friends playing SongPop on Facebook, lol.
@Veritek I’m sorry about the job. Sooo cliche, but yeah, better things will come along.
We are not back together or dating. We went for coffee once, a week ago and we have continued texting since he told me about his dog, scarcely though. Before that we had no contact, only the ocassional hello at work.
It’s going to be three months since we broke up, and I’m fully aware that this wouldn’t work out right now. We would both need more time if we were ever to think about getting back together again and we both need to think and deal with our issues on our own.
I’m taking a break anyways, I decided that when I started talking to the german dude. If it didn’t work out, I wasn’t going to pursue online dating or any other type of dating for the rest of 2017.
