Carrotstick21
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I mean, I guess if we want to extrapolate that the three men I dated who didn’t wind up as my husband are evidence that no men in their 50s ever wind up with women in their 30s where it does work out, go on. I believe it can work out just fine, depending on the two people involved. I can’t change someone’s mind on that and I won’t try. And while the snide implication that I must care too much about other’s opinions is a real zinger, my point was that having to endure constant comments and derision from literal strangers is a burden on top of the actual challenge of trying to date and figure out a relationship between two people. It adds an unwelcome public element to something that should be private business, but suddenly isn’t. I can’t speak to the age of commenters here but I sure can for the people who felt themselves welcome to comment on my life on the street and in stores.
And my biggest concern in life is that I lost my child, so there you go.
I dated men in my 50’s when I was in my 30’s, and they made it clear that they were doing so because they wanted to have children. That was a strange feeling, for sure, but I was open to it. There is a dynamic that is inescapable when one of you is trying to wind down a career and the other is ramping it up, and there were cultural touchpoints that were very different (music preference, for example.) Overall I would say they were positive experiences, though ultimately did not lead to a long term situation (My husband is five years older than me.) So yes, it’s possible, if you bear in mind that you will need to adapt a bit to different perspectives.
The biggest issue you will have is the judgment of other people (as you’ve already seen here.) Some women get VERY ANGRY about men dating much younger women, which is justified when we are talking about a grown adult dating a teenager, but not so much when everyone is over 30. You will have to endure some backlash about that. The same thing happens when you date outside your race, I have discovered. Everyone feels entitled to share their opinion about it. And that public scrutiny aspect adds additional strain on a relationship, which is already hard enough with just trying to connect and make room in your life for someone else.
All that said, though, men are really fortunate that they can father children later into their lives. It’s an unfair biological fact, but it’s no one’s fault. There is an increase in potential issues the older you are when you have a kid (risk of autism goes up with father’s age, for example.) So do all your medical screenings and get as healthy as you can.
I hope you find your person and have some great kiddos.
