hhans

And please don’t get me wrong, i appreciate all your comments on here. There’s just more going on to me than just ‘this’ situation. It’s a very deep problem to me that i have had many times before. But before it was easier to deal with, because it mostly ended in drama, so i could simply be frustrated and angry with them. I’m in no way skilled in handling these things, so i may have said the wrong things and missed out on saying the good things. If only i would know what those things are, preferrably from someone whose a bit open about it. And won’t you agree that she saying we would still go do things, i could still sleep over, that she wants to come to my place and visit my hometown does not help in any way? That’s not even trying to be clear? After the ‘break-up’ she invited me to a party at her uni and offered me to sleep over? I couldn’t make it that day, but it sure as hell is confusing!

But yeah, you’re probably right saying i should leave it, like 90% of you are saying here 🙂
This is why i came here, really.

Kate, that’s the thing. I have a lot of unprocessed childhood trauma’s, lots of self confidence issues. Thinking about why it is like that simply is not good for my mental well being. I have been held in the grey zone before by another girl and litterally had a depression follow up. That’s what makes it more difficult for me when she describes me like a gift from god to her, and that it’s simply her not looking for a (any) relationship. Also since i know she has contact with another guy. I said to her: then tell him you’re not looking for anything serious either then, her response made it clear she wasn’t being truthful with what she said before. I agree that asking for honesty comes over as pushy, which is why i’m so conflicted in doing it. I just want to hear it clear, straight. That way i know what about me made her miss the spark, because that is how i improve myself. That is the way i have always improved myself, by feedback. Maybe i don’t have the strength to say “fuck it” and grow stronger out of it by myself. While i know i’m a catch to girls, there is something missing each and every time, i even lost count. Now that makes you think. This situation is more complicated than a frustrated boy not able to handle rejection.

Hey Kate,

Worth noting is the interest WAS there. Which is exactly why i feel a bit frustrated with the way she’s suddenly lost interest entirely. There was something in the way each time. No condom, no pill/on period, food poisoning (twice!), too drunk to get it done,… “Don’t worry about it, next time we’ll do it”. It’s not that she had no interest, it’s that she lost it, or rather that i lost her interest. And i was actually okay with not having it, i am not pushy at all. She initiated it most times. My thoughts about this are consuming me, yet i still am conflicted in asking for more clarification. She’s good-hearted, and will probably understand. In any case, it would make the situation so that it’d either improve or stop completely.