veritek33
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Just an update, new guy got in contact with me this weekend and apologized for being so unavailable and asked me out for Wednesday. I agreed because I’m free and that’s his day off and I’d really like to see him. So for now, one day/date at a time. I have one active dating profile right now but I’m not working it too much or too hard. I’ve got a much needed vacation coming up and work is getting crazy so I might need to take another dating break for a bit just to get caught up on life in general 🙂
Hope everyone had a nice weekend. My parents are visiting which is stressful, but they let me sleep in till 10:30 yesterday morning (i’m typically up by 7 at the latest, apparently I was tired) and they had already made toast and coffee, so there was a plus to having them here!
I agree with both of you. I shouldn’t be this anxious. And it’s not all about him, like I mentioned I got a lot going on right now. I would just like to have a conversation with him in order to tell him why I want to take a step back. I know I don’t owe him that after two dates I just for some reason feel like I should. And I think it would make me feel better to say “hey I really like you, I’d love to go on more dates, but maybe we should wait until you are done with your work event and if we are both still interested let’s do it.”
@kare he works for a power plant and they are doing a long term maintenance thing that they do about once every 18 months. Right now I believe he’s averaging between 12 and 15 hour days. So he probably is too tired to go on a date by the time he gets home. But that also means he probably can’t be dating right now.
No real fund weekend plans here. I’m in a very deep, anxiety filled hole today worried about lots of things (parents, money, love life, work, etc). Have to buy a new furnace so picking up more hours at my part time job and considering becoming an uber driver in spare time.
Haven’t heard from new guy since Wednesday morning. Trying not to read anything more into it than he is busys working, but I wish I’d hear from him soon.
So I’ll just be doing a lot of work and cleaning and hopefully calming the fuck down in terms of my anxiety this weekend.
Can I just say I love my job? I got to go to a winery today to write a story about them and they wouldn’t let me leave without a bottle of moscato, lunch, and one of those plastic wine tumblers with a lid that you can drink wine outside with. Not date related at all, but man I love wine.
Wine wine wine.
@kare that sounds like fun fashion show! We never have anything cool like that here in the middle of conservative-ville.
@kmtthat I hope you have a fun dinner tonight!
My friend date was great. Got my hair cut and it needed it so badly so that was awesome. We met up at a college bar next to the campus where I get my hair done and feasted on $2 appetizers and $3 beer and shot the shit for a few hours while watching baseball and people watching the college kids. (we were the oldest people there by a decade) It was good to see him again and nice to get out of the house for a night.
New guy texts me to to let me know how things are going and to say hi, which is nice. He went into work at 6 last night and was still there at 8:15 this morning. I’m tired on his behalf lol
That said, I have guests coming this weekend and I’m picking up a few extra hours at my retail job. So if he wants to hang out, it’ll just have to be arranged around that!
New guy texted me last night to let me know he’s working 16 hour days but hoping to be going to 12 hour days soon. Oy. I didn’t say anything, just that I hoped he gets some rest soon. His birthday is Saturday and previously we had talked about doing something for his birthday (just dinner or something) and I’d love to see him again but I’m not gonna push it.
I do have a “friend” date tonight! I went on a “date” with a guy back in late February or early March, I can’t remember. He was pretty clear that he wasn’t looking for anything serious and mostly just looking for friends and he seemed like fun so I met up with him for a margarita and he was really fun. Pretty much no physical attraction but seemed like he could be a good friend to hang out with from time to time. So I have a hair appointment in his town and I texted to see if he wanted to hit a happy hour and he said yes! (He had asked me to come bar hop with him on St. Patrick’s Day but I was in Atlanta.)
So win-win, I finally get a hair cut today and meet up with a friend for a drink and get out of the house!
@Kare – i would imagine a goth fashion show has a lot of black and piercings. Am I stereotyping too much? What does one see at a goth fashion show?
Yeah I agree. I try not to be too rigid but man, I like having a plan or something to look forward to. I don’t like being “on-call”.
@jlyfsh, @lianne and @snoopy thank you. Honestly I kind of felt like an asshole feeling this way because he IS working insane hours and that has to be tough, but it’s just not enough for me. I’d like to be able to see the person I’m dating at least once a week at minimum and if he can’t even do that right now, I don’t think it will work.
Thanks for making me feel better because I thought maybe I was being unreasonable or wanting too much.
^^ That’s what I’m thinking @jlyfsh Maybe if we had been dating for several months or something I’d feel differently. This just doesn’t feel right. Trying to trust my gut and stay open to other opportunities. If he says he has time to hang and I’m free, that’s cool. But I don’t want to block off whole weekends anymore. Though, I did get a shit ton of housework done with no plans this weekend #silverlining
@snoopy I was *trying* to be okay with it and to lighten up a little, but I am who I am, and I really do better with a plan. Even if it’s a vague plan. My anxiety goes into overdrive when I don’t have a plan. Even if he could say “hey, my day off is Sunday, I can’t promise anything, but I’d like to try that day” I’d feel better. But this whole “well babe, we just have to play it by ear” doesn’t really work for me. Maybe it would for other women but I guess I know myself well enough at this point to know that ambiguity just causes me more anxiety.
@Cleopatra that sounds like a nice treatyoself!
Unfortunately I don’t know if things with the new guy will work right now. He’s working like 80 hour weeks, which sucks big time and he can’t help it, but we can’t even plan a date more than a few hours in advance and it feels like I’m on call all the time. He told me we might be able to do something this weekend so I didn’t really make any plans, and then he got stuck working all weekend. I don’t really want to just be in a holding pattern for 5 more weeks (how long this work event is supposed to last). One week he works 12-14 hour days and the next week he switches to nights so it’s hard to even talk on the phone or text because he’s either working or sleeping. Maybe I’m awful, but I might tell him that this isn’t working for me right now and that maybe we should talk again when this work thing is over and he actually has time to date. We’ve only been on two dates but I do like him and think he has potential, but I don’t like the inability to plan more than a few hours ahead. Unreasonable?
