veritek33
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I hope the new toys and tricks work out for you Regina! I got lucky that my anti depressants have had zero effect on my sex life, but I know that’s not the case for everyone!
thanks SasLinna, I do appreciate the advice anyway 🙂 Basically i have a time table in my head. If things don’t pick up a bit more after football season/marching season is over – It’s gonna be time to ask where this is going. Like, if we aren’t seeing each other more regularly by Christmas time, I think it might be time to move on. It’s just hard. I get attached quickly and already the thought of “breaking up” with him makes me sad. I like talking to him everyday and i really enjoy spending weekends with him. But I do know I want a relationship soon. And yes, I think the distance plays into all of it.
@saslinna I basically said “I’ve never asked what you were looking for. Were you wanting something casual/serious/etc?” And his response was something like “All I know is that I like you and I like talking to you because you’re funny and interesting.”
Honestly it seemed like a non answer or he just doesn’t know what he wants. He had mentioned previously that he wasn’t completely sure about marriage and kids (I really don’t know if I want that,) and I try to take that at face value – he doesn’t know. Though some think that means no. And it might. And I might be naive, in denial, etc.
I did not come right out and say – where do you see this going with us? That felt like a little too much.
@kare umm, yay for amazing sex! Just ignore the rest lol 😉
Okay, so two things.
1. May I be petty for a moment? I’d really like to be petty. I was driving my little sister to the YMCA yesterday because she likes to swim and I saw a guy out walking a dog. Didn’t recognize him at first. Got closer and realized, holy shit, that’s my abusive asshat ex boyfriend. HE LOOKED LIKE SHIT. Ton of weight gained, lost more hair, etc. Man, I hate to be petty, but KARMA is a bitch.
2. I’m not really asking for advice and I won’t get into too many specifics but I kinda started a convo with Tinder Teacher about what he’s looking for (casual/serious/etc.) and maybe I shouldn’t have asked, but he basically said he doesn’t know. That he likes me and talking to me and spending time with me – but that’s the answer I got. We still talk every day, plan to see each other again in a few weeks. I just don’t call him my boyfriend because I don’t think he is. And it’s annoying when all my friends around me call him my boyfriend – because I’d love to call him that, but I just don’t think he’s there yet. After all, it really has only been four dates in person despite that we’ve been talking since late June.
And also, is this weird: (TMI WARNING) Last weekend when he was visiting we might have been having some fun adult time and he might have mentioned that he wished we had a little lube and I might have said “oh i think I have some!” and reached into my top drawer and found a tiny bottle and carried on with our activities. But later on he asked me if I had a vibrator. Which I do, so I said yes. And that was the end of the discussion. I thought maybe he was going to follow up on that but he didn’t. WAS HE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY I HAVE LUBE??!! I mean, I’m a 31 year old sexually active woman so is it shocking that i have condoms and lube in my night side table?
Or did I read too much into that? I’m weird. Happy Monday.
so Bubbles, I totally tried adding the bitmoji keyboard on my phone and it just won’t do it. Alas, I’m not destined to have bitmojis.
Lol bubbles, Kate is the bitmoji queen and introduced me to them. Our avatars actually look a lot like us in real life 🙂
Last spring I went on a few dates with a guy that was new to town and he paid for our first date. Awesome. I knew he’d just started his new job and hadn’t gotten paid yet so I suggest a very reasonable restaurant for our next date and he offered to pay (i had planned on paying). But he got kinda weirder after that and agreed to dates, but “only if you can pay,” which I guess was okay, more than happy to pay for myself, but he meant him too. Okay, so I did. And the whole money thing was just weird after a while. Like, he didn’t have much. So i would suggest things like dog walks – totally free. But then he’d want to go get a beer afterward – not free.
He was weird. That was only a handful of dates before i got sick of that
Thanks everyone 🙂
Agree. Good advice Mucha. I very well could be looking for that validation. I keep waiting for something to go wrong or the other shoe to drop. That’s kinda how I’ve always been. It takes me a long time to relax when dating someone.
Very good point.
well, Kate, that’s what I’m saying. I don’t want to do that, so I wait until I have something to talk about. So I think that’s why the frequency has decreased for both of us.
Thanks @Lianne . Honestly I’d love to talk more, but then sometimes I struggle with coming up with a conversation topic lol. Like, I think to myself, ‘I’d love to talk to TT right now but what can I start a conversation about?’ so I just wait until I think of something or something cool happens or I have a question. I don’t want to force it, it just makes me happy to talk to him. I could talk about the weather with him and be happy. But I talk a lot 😉
@Kate btw I never called him my boyfriend or said it was a relationship 😉
@lianne it has decreased a bit but still happens everyday. I moreso worry about ME texting too much and not wanting to annoy him, even though he’s explicitly said he enjoys talking to me. It’s more my own issue if that makes sense.
