I want to move to a one-floor home with less maintenance, maybe one that has a homeowners’ association that takes care of the outside. He does not and will not talk about it. I am guessing he thinks his life is short and can’t/doesn’t want to deal with a move. My thinking is that, whatever time is left, it would be nice to enjoy. He has been sleeping on the couch and the first floor has been semi-converted for his use. There’s a bathroom but no shower.
So, now what? This place is not working for us. We have been here almost four years and our health is different now than when we first moved in. We do not drive and so we need special services for appointments. His family lives about 15 miles away, but everyone is busy and his folks are snowbirds in the winter. Can you please advise? — Time to Move
You’re going to have to do all the legwork yourself. Find exactly what it is you’re looking for, which sounds like an assisted living facility where the two of you can have your own apartment with privacy and without the responsibility of owning/living in a house and all that comes with that (like yard maintenance), but with the support you need, like on-site medical care, assistance with transportation, and some meals. Figure out how you’ll pay for it, what you’ll do with your current home and all yhe stuff you won’t be able to move with you, when you could move, and who might be able to help you move. In addition to researching actual assisted living facilities (and visiting them and applying for a spot), you will probably have to research estate sale companies, moving companies, and real estate agents who can help you list your current house (if you own it) and give you an idea what you can expect to make from it.
Once you have all the details (but before you sign on any dotted lines), present your husband with the plan and explain why it’s in both your best interest to move to a smaller place with less maintenance where your respective disabilities and limitations will be supported. If he fights you on this, enlist the help of his family to help persuade him. I believe you’re probably right about your husband not wanting to “deal with a move,” so the easier you make it seem to him — and for you, that means doing all the research and legwork yourself (or with the help of family and friends) — and the better you portray your lifestyle benefitting, the harder it will be for him to say no. Good luck.
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