Reply To: “My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want to Be a Stepdad”

There are men in that age group who would absolutely be into having a blended family with you/being an enthusiastic and present stepdad! I hope you aren’t staying in this relationship because you believe on some level that your “baggage” is too much and this is the best that you can hope for. Your daughter deserves to be more than tolerated by your choice in partners.

If you’d like uplifting anecdotal evidence, one of my cousins married for the first time a couple years ago, they had both just turned 40. His wife was previously married and had a kid from her first marriage. Similar to what your situation sounds like, the wife’s ex-husband lives a short walk away (he moved to their neighborhood to make their son’s life/coparenting easier). There has never been any jealousy or weird feelings toward the ex-husband. My cousin is a great stepdad and was even before he officially got that title. He proposed to his now-wife twice… once privately, once including his stepson where both got down on one knee to propose making their little family official. They’ve had two more kids together and the stepson is a very proud big brother. They do cute stuff on weekends as a family, travel as a family, eat family dinners. He’s involved. He loves all his kids, bio or not.