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It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Still her Stepdaughter?” who wrote in several months ago wondering whether she should invite herself to visit her deceased father’s recent ex-wife, whom she missed very much, despite mixed signals since the father’s/ ex-husband’s death in April ’11. Keep reading to see whether she did, indeed, invite herself to visit her stepmother.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about three years now. He sometimes travels to festivals with the music group he works with, sometimes for weekends, sometimes for two weeks, and always with the same relatively tight community of people. I’ve never met any of them (it wouldn’t be possible as they don’t live in the area), and more specifically have never met the woman he calls his “best friend” in that community. She posts on his Facebook wall often with what seem to me flirty messages (“I miss you” and stuff like that), she’s in his timeline photo, and she didn’t know about his having a girlfriend until over a year into…

I am 20 years old and my boyfriend is 22. We have been together for six years now! Lately, he has been hinting that he’s going to propose. I don’t know how I feel about this. I love him and we have a great friendship (we’ve known each other since elementary!), but there are some issues. First of all, he has a job where he works only in the summer and during the winter he doesn’t even bother looking for another job. He dropped out of high school and hasn’t received his GED. I graduated high school, I’m attending college and have a fulltime job. Also, I dont really want to have…

Here’s what I think about sleep sex. It is a sleep disorder like talking, walking or eating in one’s sleep. I believe it is called sexsomnia. Some say that it is not possible, but it is. I had this, and it was hard for me to overcome this disorder. My wife would tell me I had sex with her while she slept, but I would not remember doing it or feeling it. To me, it was like a dream that was acted out. I would not know or remember doing this to her. She tried to say I raped her, but the fact that this is a sleep disorder prevented her from…

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), or submit a question for advice. I’m in my early 30s and I’ve had two relationships in my life. My first boyfriend and I were together for five years. Unfortunately, I was miserable for three of those years, but was so scared of being alone again that I stayed in the relationship hating him (and myself) ’til neither of us could stand it anymore. I lost my virginity to him when I was 20. After…

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.

Recently, I learned that one of my professors (let’s call them “P”) is involved in a very difficult personal situation. I found out by accident, and I can’t exactly talk to P about it, but I want to help him somehow. The effects of the situation are starting to show in how he acts and the way he teaches, and that’s not just me romanticizing things. No one else in class knows about the situation, but it’s actually painful for me to watch P be like this, knowing where it’s coming from. I do have mild feelings for P, but there’s a block around those since I learned about his situation. I…

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me: Last year this time, I was still with my boyfriend. We had been together for three and a half years and had been renting…

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), or submit a question for advice. In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me: I have an amazing boyfriend. We’re very happy together; we equally make plans, our banter keeps getting better and better, we’re really attracted to each other, and we enjoy spending lots of time with our respective friend groups. After we’d been dating for…