Columns

Last week my in-laws, whom my husband and I are both close to, called us with the news that they’re “adopting a 15-year-old.” This was beyond unexpected; they’ve never mentioned adopting a child, much a less a teenager. My husband pressed them for more details and discovered that the teenager “Jack” goes to their church and, after a weeknight service, asked to come live with them as his mother is dying from cancer and is currently in hospice. These are the facts as relayed by my mother-in-law: – Jack’s father is not in the picture; no one has provided details of the father re. providing any support towards Jack. – Jack’s grandparents…

​It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend Alex for a year. His brother told me that Alex had sex with their sister, but his brother likes me so I brushed it off after my boyfriend told me it wasn’t true and that maybe his brother wanted me and my boyfriend to break up. When I’m at Alex’s house, he leaves…

I’m a 30-year-old divorcee with a son. I have joint custody with my ex-husband. My boyfriend, who is also divorced, has a daughter who is under the sole custody of his ex-wife. I only get to spend time with my son on alternate weekends and my boyfriend doesn’t see his daughter at all. My boyfriend already proposed to me, but, one month after proposing, he wants me to give up seeing my son. I did tell him that my parents want to spend time with my son too and they can only do that on the alternate weekends I see him. He told me that he wants to go overseas to work…

I’ve reached some trouble in my three-year relationship with my boyfriend. We can’t seem to agree on the topic of going out and drinking. We do love each other and want to work something out but can’t seem to make it work. He likes to go out and he says it helps him blow off steam and feel good to take a break from everyday life stressors. His mom used to and still does go out clubbing with her friends somewhat frequently, so he thinks this is normal and acceptable. I feel feel abanndoned when he goes out. He usually drinks too much and has in the past gotten into some trouble…

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Cold Feet” whose 44-year-old boyfriend of a year and a half still lived at home, had a massive amount of debt, and only worked part-time because he kept failing the bar exam and couldn’t secure a full-time job. “He wants to marry me and has given me an engagement ring, but I am having cold feet because of his debt. I don’t feel safe starting a life with him. I am not the type to go in…

My boyfriend dated his ex for about 20 years. They were college sweethearts. It didn’t end very well (she had an affair), and they were not on speaking terms for almost six months after the breakup. I met him roughly three months after they ended their relationship. We absolutely adore each other, and we have recently combined our households after almost two years of dating. Very soon after he introduced me to his family — about four months after we started dating — his ex began sending extremely inappropriate messages to him (after almost a year of silence) wanting to reunite. She made it a point to make comments about me, about…

My girlfriend’s cousin is getting married this November. We’ve had the date to their wedding for months now. My girlfriend is extremely close to her cousin and their family and that side of her family does not come together often. Furthermore, many of her closest family members, whom she hasn’t seen in years because they live on the other side of the country, will be there. Also, her cousin comes from money so this will probably be the nicest/classiest event she will be able to attend for, what she believes, the rest of her life. This would also be one of her only chances to introduce me to everyone. To complicate matters,…

I was hoping to answer this myself, but I’m on day four of an awful cold and haven’t had the energy or mental acuity to give this the attention I wanted to give, so I’m making it a Your Turn, and, if I feel better later today, I’ll give my response in the comments. I was up at three in the morning typing “I feel alone” into Google and taking “Why am I Single?” quizzes online when I stumbled upon your site. I read a couple of the letters on your site and loved your feedback and thought maybe you could help me. I’m 16, almost 17 in a few days, and…

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. I met this guy on the internet and he was really sweet and caring and I soon felt like I loved him. Two weeks later we started going out. But when we went on our first date, I got disappointed because he’s just two inches taller than I am. Usually, I date tall, buff guys. But this guy is really skinny…