(but it wasn’t said in a creepy way — he was being funny).
When he came to the house, he hinted around a few times with more sexual innuendos but never actually made a move. The text flirting continued and pics have been exchanged — topless on my part and, although he had a great initial reaction and made a very straight-forward gesture which I made obvious that I wouldn’t decline, he’s not texted or Facebook-messaged since he had to suddenly leave town for a short time for work.
I found out he asked a mutual friend shortly before the flirting started if it would be weird to start something with me and if I’d be ready since I’m new to single status, and his friend said to go for it. I’m tempted to reach out, but, since he said his good-bye, I’m not sure. Wouldn’t he reach out to me if he wanted to stay in touch? And does his silence mean that, when he gets back, the only pipe he’ll be fixing is in my kitchen? I don’t want to look like a fool, so I’m not sure how to proceed or if I should at all. Please help! — Needing a Good Pipe-Cleaning
This guy was the one who initially crossed the lines of professionalism and started making sexual innuendos, right? He sexted with you, engaged in an exchange of photos, and continued making very “straight-forward gestures” that one can only assume were sexual in nature. And then it suddenly stopped. And you want to know why. Well, it’s highly unlikely that he suddenly lost interest, especially since he hasn’t yet gotten what he’s likely after (sex with you). A more reasonable explanation for his sudden silence is that he either got super busy/decided to put communication with you on pause while he was away and couldn’t consummate anything anyway, or he decided that it was weird to be pursuing his (ex?) friend’s estranged wife.
Since you are expecting him to return not only to town but also to the job you initially contacted him about, I’d wait until he’s back and/or reaches out to you before you try to connect with him. At that point, if he’s no longer flirty/ making “non-creepy” comments about your cleavage, I’d assume that, for whatever reason, he’s no longer interested in cleaning any pipes of yours except the ones in your kitchen.
You could try to find out the reason, but what would be the point? And, more importantly, why would you want to? You don’t mention that you’re yet divorced, so you’re still married to your husband, whom you say is an ex-friend of this man. You also mention kids, so I assume they are kids you share with your estranged husband. Don’t you think it would behoove you to try to keep things as cordial as possible with the man you are co-parenting with and perhaps with whom you’re even facing future custody battles as well an eventual divorce settlement? Don’t you think that, if he got wind of your getting your metaphorical, and maybe even literal, pipes cleaned by his former friend, that could potentially threaten your co-parenting relationship and whatever steps still lie ahead as you figure out the legal status of your marriage/divorce?
Finally, if you have any interest in Mr. Pipe Cleaner beyond getting your pipes cleaned — like if you were thinking you might like to have a relationship with him — consider whether a man who makes immediate sexual innuendos, exchanges nude-ish pics with you, and then disappears without explanation BEFORE even asking you out is someone who sounds at all interested in anything other than an easy/potentially exciting lay? I mean, if that’s all you’re interested in, too — and that would be understandable when you’re six months out of a 16-year relationship — then that’s one thing (and I still would suggest finding a FB who doesn’t have any sort of history or connection with your estranged husband/father of your kids), but, if you’re looking for a boyfriend, then this isn’t the guy. And depending on his reviews, he may not even be the best guy to clean your kitchen pipes. Especially if he’s only going to give you a discount if you show him your tits.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].