“He Won’t Stop Talking to the Woman He Stopped Dating for Me”

Anytime she texts him or vice versa I have really bad anxiety, and this is starting to take a toll on my mental health (I have made an appointment with a therapist up help with the anxiety). He is not always honest with me about when they talk; he’s lied to my face and on occasion has admitted that he’s lied to avoid the same discussion over and over with no resolution.

This is clearly not in the best interest of my mental health; however, that does not seem to have any impact for him. He said he will not give up a friend because he would never ask me to do that. He’s divorced and said he won’t be told what to do anymore and my asking him to take my mental state into consideration is telling him what to do. This ex of his has tried to tell him that I clearly need mental help and that I’m not ready to be in a relationship. She tries to manipulate his opinion of me.

He tells me he loves me but he is unwilling to let go of an ex-lover. I would have way less issue if they had been friends previously or if it hadn’t ended between them because he met me and that wasn’t long ago. The anxiety of the fighting makes me sick and I’m not sure how to get him to pick me over her. I’m afraid if I gave him some type of ultimatum, I would lose him or he would just try to hide the fact from me that he still talks to her, but I don’t want to be that person. I want to know how to either be okay with her or how to get her out of the picture entirely.

He also won’t stop talking to the woman with whom he had an affair that ended his marriage. I actually have less of an issue with her because they were friends before the affair. I don’t like who she is and their history, but I’ve been dealing with her better than his most recent ex-lover.

Everyone I’ve spoken to about this has told me he’s being disrespectful and I deserve better. Advice from an unbiased third party would be much appreciated. — Suspicious of the Ex