“My Estranged Ex Won’t Stop Texting Me From His Girlfriend’s”
Because habits are hard to break, and ain’t no habit like an 11-year marriage. Plus, with three kids in the picture, he absolutely will always have a legit reason to be in touch with you about his plans and whereabouts. That doesn’t mean you need to know where he is at all times. Nor should you have to even give the illusion that his personal well-being is of such concern to you that you need to hear every time he arrives somewhere safely.
Make no mistake: His reaching out to you is about him — his comfort and his habits. It isn’t about wanting you back or having second thoughts about leaving you for another woman. He has chosen her. For over a year, he has chosen her. He left you and your kids and is pursuing another woman. So be firm, and for the sake of your kids, be strong and civil. Tell him that you are moving on and for him to respect your moving on and to stop making unnecessary check-ins with you. Let him know that he’s welcome to talk to the kids at times that are convenient to you and them, but that if he continues sending random texts that have nothing to do with them, you will consider that harassment and will not tolerate that. If it continues, mention this to your divorce attorney and get legal advice for how best to handle it moving forward.
What I hate is the fact I’m only wanting to go for three weeks (instead of the six he went for), but he is being selfish and isn’t going to allow me to go with one of my friends. Should I book the trip despite his feelings and face the repercussions? Or should I just not go and let him get his way? — Three Weeks is Shorter Than Six
Pardon my French — a language you might be exposed to on your trip to Europe — but fuck that shit! Your boyfriend is a TOOL if he thinks he can forbid you to do anything, especially go on the same trip he took himself a year earlier. Methinks maybe he wasn’t as faithful as he claims he was or he wouldn’t be so afraid of the way you might behave on your trip. Projecting one’s own indiscretions onto others is a common trait among tools and fools. Don’t be conned by his lame game. MOA and go on your trip. Why just three weeks? Make it six and have a great time, You’re 22 and free. Live it up! I’m sure your boyfriend did.
It’s his desprate needy mantrum control, power play tactic. He’s a parasite.
Tell him he’s blocked from contacting you via text, and tell him he can only communicate to talk about issues related to the KIDS via that co parent kid app that records everything.
Set up court order visits ans establish parental rights.
Do not answer ANYTHING he texts you from this point on, after establishing the boundaries and app set up.
Go go go. Obviously it’s up to you, your finances and the structure of the trip whether you go for 3 or 6 weeks!
Dear Three Weeks: unless YOU have given your boyfriend the authority to control your moments, you and he are both confused. You are 22. Live your life! Take the Contiki trip (whatever that is) of your dreams.
You need to go on this trip. Even if you love your boyfriend and he has the best intentions. He needs to allow you to make your own decisions. Go on the trip because you want to and also go on this trip because if you and your boyfriend cannot weather this difference of opinion you two should not be together.
If you go and he gets upset but understands and gets over it then all is well but if you go and he gets angry and controlling and resentful then it was never meant to be.
I can’t tell you of all the things I regret not doing because I had a controlling boyfriend that disapproved. I look back 30 years and have so much regret and sadness that I never stood up for myself never made myself the priority. Never allowed myself to fly. Don’t allow any man to take away your freedom of choice.