“My Husband Yells At Our Neighbors”
I notice the neighbors kind of get colder with me because of my husband, even though I try to go out of my way to help them. If I tell him that I think he’s gone too far, he gets nasty with me and tells me I have no standards of conduct. Sometimes I find myself feeling agoraphobic and not wanting to venture outside because of it. I don’t know what to do. — Curmudgeon’s Wife
Your husband sounds abusive. Has he always been this way? Has his behavior changed or has his temper escalated recently? Any new behavior traits could be the symptom of a medical issue and you should encourage your husband to see a doctor. If his behavior has always been this way and it’s you who has grown less tolerant, which often happens to women as they enter middle-age, please use this as fuel to get out of a bad situation. Your mental health is clearly suffering and you risk isolation and further harm to your mental health when you avoid going outside because of how embarrassed you are by your husband. You deserve a life of dignity and social connections – to feel comfortable and at ease in your neighborhood and your home.
If it’s accessible to you, therapy would be an appropriate supplement to the steps ahead in reclaiming your life and peace. If you have a support system – good friends and family – now is the time to lean on them. Surround yourself with people who empower you and remind you of your value to counteract the messages you get from your husband. Your strength now is in remembering who you are, knowing what kind of life you want, and believing you have the ability to create it, because you do.
Why don’t you ASK your girlfriend if you’re invited to the wedding, either directly or as her plus one. If you aren’t, or if she refuses to answer you, THEN you can discuss what the reasons were and/or decide whether this is indicative of a larger issue in your relationship and whether it’s time to MOA. You aren’t being out of line for wanting to end a relationship where you feel unwanted, but it’s a pretty big leap to go from assuming you are unwelcome at a wedding to believing you are unwanted in a relationship, and you need to fill in some missing pieces first before you fly off the handle.
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LW 2: You tell us the daughter has been engaged for 3 years, but you don’t say how long you’ve been dating the mother. Are we talking weeks or years? This certainly makes a difference! And, to reiterate Wendy, ask questions instead of assuming. Asking gives them the opportunity to say YES! 💕
LW 2: You tell us the daughter has been engaged for 3 years, but you don’t say how long you’ve been dating the mother. Are we talking weeks or years? This certainly makes a difference! And, to reiterate Wendy, ask questions instead of assuming. Asking gives them the opportunity to say YES! 💕
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