“My Sibling’s Social Media Content Is Hurting the Job Search”
This sibling is also very stubborn and when I occasionally bring up the social media aspect likely being an issue to employers when they Google them, they flip out and block me (we communicate mostly via text/whatsapp). I feel like even if they apply to employers who are of the same mindset with certain things, this is still a liability that HR may not want to deal with.
Sibling is currently crashing “temporarily” with another family member while in between jobs/ interviewing because they don’t want to sign a lease and then have to move away for a specific role. What should I do? — Concerned Sibling
This one’s easy. Don’t do anything. Unless you are being asked for advice or help – either financially or emotionally or logistically – you should not be butting in here. And even if you were being asked for help, I still wouldn’t advise butting in. You’ve already expressed your concerned – you’ve expressed it on an occasional basis and that’s enough now; you don’t need to express your concern any more since you have made it known. I’m not suggesting you’re wrong in your concerns, but it doesn’t matter if you’re right or wrong; it’s not your life and your adult sibling will need to figure this out.
Should other family members get tired of helping your sibling, they’ll need to figure out what to say and do. Maybe it’s time for everyone to stop enabling your sibling, who is obviously capable of working and earning a living, and let them feel enough discomfort and anxiety about being unemployed and homeless to grow up and start taking some of your advice to heart.
I want my family to support my decision in marrying Tom and to be present at my wedding, but at the same time if they can’t, I almost feel like saying, “Screw off, then! It’s my life.”
What advice do you have? — It’s My Life!
It’s really messed up that Tom told your sister’s boyfriend that she had fooled around on him, regardless of whether it’s true or not. He had no business saying such a thing, especially when he only did so out of spite. What is he going to do you when you have arguments as a married couple? It’s a worry I’m sure your sisters and mother have, which is why they are so concerned with your marrying Tom. He sounds just as they describe him: controlling and vindictive.
Of course, this is your life and you are welcome to screw it up as much as you please. Marry the jerk who would betray your family — and, indirectly, you — as Tom has done. In the process, you risk alienating yourself from your support system. Worse than that, you risk tying yourself to a man who has the potential to make your life hell if you don’t fall in line behind him.
My advice is to at least postpone the wedding until you feel very strongly in your heart that you are making the right decision. In the meantime, I would use super-reliable birth control (like an IUD).
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].
Omg, It’s My Life! Hello, but this stunt of your husband to be is a large, monster huge red flag! Listen to what your family is telling you! And here’s why I say this: I got involved with a fella who was a few years older than me and I fell hard. We even got so far as we went to pick out an engagement ring. And then? Nothing. Less than nothing. After not hearing from him for nearly 3 weeks, I finally called him (no cellphones back then) at his Mom’s house to see what was going on. His mom answered and imagine how surprised I was when his mom questioned why I was calling and then told me that he was getting married, that day to, literally, the girl next door because he got her pregnant! I was absolutely devastated. My parents were the first to say that it was for best and better to find out now, especially my father. A few days later, I had occasion to talk about this privately with my mother and I asked, did you know or guess this would happen. She shrugged and said yes, your father picked up on it first and warned that he was no good. More than a bit taken back I asked why they didn’t say anything? She only shrugged again and asked me, would you have believed us? She then went to say as bad as it was to watch it play out, they both knew that I had to learn for myself. So, It’s My Life, listen to your family because they can see what you cannot.
Yeah… i think that your own personal stuff is rendering you color blind. The only real red flags are coming from the family and the inlet person who was betrayed is the boyfriend.
Presumably your family love you and care deeply about you.
In my experience, I find it’s best to listen when the people who really love you go to the trouble of having a hard conversation with you. They only want what’s best for you.
No they don’t. Some families, especially toxic ones just want their kids to fall in lone with their messed up system.
Tom is a giant, boundary stomping red flag. Please listen to your family, LW2.
LW1, what Wendy said. Not your life, not your mess to clean up. Step way on back.
What’s the “boundary”, ratting out her sister ?
I am curious why lw didn’t provide details about the initial argument…🤔