Reply To: I cannot tell if this is a green flag or the reddest flag ever.

Sigh. Taco, back far away from this guy and unpack this in therapy. Real therapy with an actual, trauma specialized therapist. Not a group meeting where abusers also go. You need to unpack your own extensive issues and get mentally healthy before dating anyone.

Speaking of, have YOU read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft? If not, it’s likely worth your time. I suspect you’ll see many of your father’s traits described in the book and it can be eye opening. I say as an abuse survivor myself – any guy who recognizes any part of himself in that book is someone you need to stay far, far away from. And that includes your dad. I really hope you’ve finally moved out and cut contact with them.