It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
I recently met this guy and after a few months he told me he has two more kids besides the one I knew about. We are both 25. I really felt crushed and very hurt about it because he was not honest with me from the beginning. Yes, our relationship is new and I love him, but I feel like I have lost hope in him. I feel frustrated and don’t how to handle the situation. Please help. — Lost Hope
If a guy can keep his two kids secret from you for months, what other deception is he capable of? This isn’t “love.” Maybe this is lust, but it is not love. Love is built on trust, of which you can’t possibly have much. Cut your losses now and MOA.
Today is my boyfriend’s friend’s birthday party, and even though I know the friend and we’ve all hung out, my boyfriend was invited to the party and I wasn’t. Should I be upset? Also, when it was my birthday get-together, I invited the guy whose birthday is today. I also messaged him today and said happy birthday, and he still didn’t mention that he has a party later. Should I be upset and feel left out? — Feeling Left Out
There are two potential reasons for your being left out: Your boyfriend’s friend is purposely keeping his get-together small because, you know, we’re in a middle of a pandemic where large gatherings are discouraged, and you, being sort of a second-tier friend (girlfriend of a friend), didn’t make the cut. Or, he doesn’t really like you. Either way, sure you can be upset. Or, you can decide it isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things and it’s probably best that you avoid large gatherings anyway because, as I mentioned, there’s a pandemic.
My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly five months now. At the beginning our relationship was going really well. The difficulty, however, arose when we got to the stage when we wanted to start sleeping together. I’m well endowed and she finds sex with me very painful. We’ve tried on several occasions now, but each time she has to ask me to stop. I reassure her that it is okay and that we can take our time, but it’s still quite upsetting for both of us. She tends to become quite tearful after each attempt. I can’t enjoy sex either because I’m so worried about hurting her. I suppose the issue has become both a physical and a psychological one. Any advice or recommendations would be most appreciated. — Too Big for Her Pleasure
Women’s bodies are made to expand enough to birth babies; I doubt you’re so big that you can’t comfortably be accommodated. More likely, you need extended foreplay, lots of water-based lube, and positions that allow for your girlfriend to better control depth and movement. All of these things are highly Google-able, so good luck!
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].