DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Yay looks like people are going on dates and having fun!
Thanks @cleo! No hopefuls yet, but it’s still an avenue to try hard if it is something I want to do.
There is a cute new member at the Toastmasters club I go to. Most members are in their late 30s-50s but for some reason there’s a recent crop of people in their 20s. This Thursday is our last meeting before we break for the summer. I want to be bold and I don’t know.. ask if he wants to go out for drinks or something or perhaps I can organize a group drink with the younger crowd (less bold ;)) since we won’t be meeting. I don’t know if this guy has a girlfriend though and also he’s going to business school in another city in January. But that doesn’t really matter at this point (I mean girlfriend yes, but I have no idea except he hasn’t mentioned one before). Life is too short not to go for it.
I went on a second date with the guy from eHarmony last night and it was lovely. So very lovely. He is wonderful – so sweet and attentive and intentional and very smart; a little quieter than I normally go for but I think it’s actually really refreshing. He calms me, which is saying something. We closed the restaurant down.
I told him I really wanted to see him again and asked him to pick something since his work schedule is crazy this week…so we’ll see what happens next. I texted him this morning to tell him I had a lovely time and he said he did too. I’m really trying to temper my expectations (at this point, I feel like I need to protect myself and not have any at all) but hopefully I will get to see him again. 🙂
Glad it’s going well so far! That’s great 🙂 Having someone calming is really good, my boyfriend does that for me.
@hfantods You could probably do a few things to get to this guy. 1) Group dinner/drinks, this reduces the pressure of one on one, and maybe something more in your comfort zone. 2) Invite him out for drinks alone but set it up to talk work a bit, usually with clever conversation segways, it can turn into something more casual. 3) Straight out ask him to go for drinks and treat it as a date.
Personally, I would probably go for the work drinks turn casual conversation, as I have done that before with a guy. But totally up to you and your comfort, you also probably don’t know too much about him yet, so maybe building up the casual conversation through group events or future ‘toasts’ can help.
Thanks guys. Just feeling super confused and really low. Also the first time someone ahs broken things off with me and cried the whole time. I give up.
@kmen did he give a reason or anything? I know you mentioned he has been kind of flaky as of late, I am guessing that was just a symptom? He seemed so great and in to it when you guys first started. Either way, total bummer and so sorry, it is never easy and sometimes can be even more difficult when things are newer and there is a lot of hope or potential for the future.
Said something was missing, and that when he was with me he was crazy about me but when he wasn’t…he wasn’t. And that we didn’t know what he wanted, or even what a relationship was, and that he wanted a girlfriend, but one he wanted to see all the time…it was very confusing. He said he didn’t want to drag it out because he doesn’t date causally and it wouldn’t be fair to me.
A week ago he was telling me we were in a relationship and that he really wanted me to meet his best friend who was in town. He was always VERY enthusiastic (telling me he really really liked me and was afraid to mess it up) so it’s…shocking. that and him crying the whole time I told him maybe he was making a mistake.
Our mutual friends who set us up are pissed, because he sort of led me on and then freaked out. His friend (my good friend’s fiance) has been friends with him since they were kids and just said he was an idiot and had always been a weird dude and that it definitely wasn’t me. Dude texted this guy saying he knew he’d hear about is so if he wanted to talk to get details to let him know, so they are going to talk today I guess. part of me is hoping mutual friend will yell at him (I’m sure he will do some version of WTF are thinking) and that he’l realize he’s making a mistake but I get that it’s not going to happen.
Just hard to deal with another disappointment so soon after the last one, and to have someone who was crazy about me suddenly just…decide he wasn’t.
