Is he the uncle or father? Please help…advice needed.
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Yes, the mother participated. I have no clue as to why they both wanted to keep quiet about this. My son has been talking to the mother daily and from what I’ve heard, she continues to tell him that he is not the father because she wasn’t ovulating at the time that she was with him. My son is genuinely concerned with whether or not he’s the father. I’m a little confused though, are you saying that the Avuncular test should have only had a reading of 25 or 50 percent? The testing company told me that it will usually read anywhere from 70-80 percent and that YES the 99 reading is high but not unusual when it comes to these type of tests. I’m letting this get to me way too much, to the point where I can’t sleep at night.
Your son doesn’t want to do the test. She doesn’t want to permit another DNA test.
A DNA test is a DNA test. If he was the father, they would be able to tell that from the test. They concluded he was the uncle.
So let it go. If you keep pestering her, you could miss out in having more of a relationship with your granddaughter. Trust the mother knows the timing of the pregnancy and who the father really is.
99% chance they are related means they are related, not that he’s the father.
It depends what they mean by 99%. They may be saying that they are 99% certain that your living son is at least as close a relative to the child as an uncle.
I don’t understand why a new test or the mother’s cooperation is required, although perhaps it is a legal matter of confidentiality and they cannot reveal what they know without her permission. If a court demanded the mother’s cooperation, what they would be requiring is that she make her child available for collection of a DNA sample. She already did that for the avuncular test. The lab already analyzed that sample. To determine paternity, they would take a sample from your living son, analyze it, and compare it to the child’s DNA. They also have already done that.
They reported that one of your sons is the father of the child. They know which one already, because the test comparison would show a 50% gene match if the living son is the father and a 25% match if he is only the uncle. Perhaps the mother, as guardian of her child, is required for the lab to release these results. Certainly your son providing another sample and agreeing to be tested for paternity makes no difference. They’ve already taken his ample and analyzed it and he is willing for it to be used to establish paternity.
It really sounds like the mother wanted to prove that your deceased son is the father and doesn’t want your living son to be a part of her child’s life. If that son has been into drugs, crime, and prison and is still in the process of pulling his life together, then I can understand and fully sympathize with her position.
There are a lot of lawyers on this forum. We need them to chime in here. It seems like the question is more legal than scientific.
The mother wants nothing to do do with your son. Drugs, crime and who knows what else. Maybe having a child has made the mother have some common sense and want to protect her child. He does not even want to pay child support. I think if you really cared for this child you would leave well enough alone.
Oracle —
I don’t think it makes any sense at all that this is about the living son trying to skip out on child support payments. If this were about child support, then the child’s mother would be pursuing child support and demanding whatever testing/release of test results required to prove living son is the father and collect support.The other bit in the updates that point against this: the living son and the child’s mother are in very constant communication, yet the LW is butting in and pushing to prove that living son is the actual father. I think that I’m not going WAY out on a limb to conclude that this is about inheritance: the deceased son had life insurance or savings — if he is the father, then his estate will go to his child; if other son is the father, then the estate will go to the LW as the parent of deceased child. This would explain why the LW is the only person involved in this who is pushing to prove that her living son is the true father — pushing very hard and writing to Wendy for advice on ways to push more effectively. This also explains why the child’s mother wanted the genetic testing to establish that the deceased son is the father, but has no interest in any further testing or release of test results. The living son probably has no money or means to pay child support. The living son isn’t cooperating with LW’s wishes, because he prefers that the money go to his nephew, rather than his mother (LW).
Oracle- She talks on the phone with him daily, so she must want something to do with him. Although, she keeps insisting he’s the uncle and nothing more. My son has become so fixuated on this being his child. The only way to solve this would be through a paternity test.
99% relatedness tells you the possibility that he is the father suicide or relative, in this case they are telling you with 99% probability he is her uncle. Usually it is 99.999999% NO TEST ever is going to tell you 100% chance. He is not the father. Done.
Maybe this link will help.
https://www.lbgenetics.com/auntuncle-dna-tests-avuncular-testing/
The 99% relatedness just means that there is a 99 percent chance that your son is the uncle of the child when it is an avuncular DNA test. That is pretty conclusive that your son is the uncle rather than the father.
They would expect the uncle to have 25% of their genes in common with the child. A father would have 50% of their genes in common with the child. We’ve done DNA testing in my family. I have exactly 50.0% DNA in common with each of my parents and each of my kids. By random chance I have 56% of my DNA in common with my sister. I share 25% with my aunt.
If the testing company says there is a 99% chance that your son is the uncle he is probably the uncle rather than the father. Have you asked the company what the report would say if your son was the father rather than the uncle? I’d talk to the company.
The mother of the child can use the test results to get Social Security benefits for the child. Either way, you are the grandmother. I understand that your son is troubled but the results seem pretty conclusive. He is definitely related but he is the uncle.
Again, talk to the testing company. What would an avuncular test say if the genetic testing showed the uncle was actually the father.
Your son being fixated on something that isn’t accurate is HIS problem. He got his paternity test. He’s the uncle. The end. He needs to get over it (and so do you).
He took a test that tested for relatedness of an uncle. The results came back 99.99% relatedness. He is the uncle.
The mother says the dates don’t line up for paternity. Your son was also there. He should know if the dates match up. Everyone seems to be in agreement this child is his niece.
This is your grandchild. That is all you need to know.
