My male friend took advantage of me when I was drunk- is it my fault?
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Seriously OP just ignore what doesn’t serve you in this moment. The last thing you needed straight after this event is a bunch of people telling you what you did wrong. There’s enough of that out in society and you were looking for support in what you thought would have been a safe space. I’m sorry you didn’t get it. Usually we do much, much better dealing with women and I really don’t know why the ball was dropped this time.
I hope you get the support you need.
Nope. She just responded.
RoseLouise, please know that this wasn’t your fault. I’m glad you’re going to see a counselor. Cut your yourself some slack. Take care of yourself. Again, you did nothing wrong. There are many, many people, myself included, who let a night get away from them and drink a little too much. You were unlucky in that your friend assaulted you. EDT: Learn from this and move forward.
Sorry, @ange. That’s not the way I meant it. I’m in agreement with you and @TaraMonster. I’ll amend.
Thanks ktfran. This thread and responses I’m sure are highly emotional for a lot of women and all I can think is this is why women don’t report. This is why men get away with what they do. If we can’t lean on our own what hope is there.
OP you did nothing wrong.
I’m sorry I derailed your thread.
Everyone else – this topic is interesting and I’ve enjoyed discussing it, but let’s take it to another thread now.
RoseLouise’s last response made me extremely sad and I really do hope that she can move past this, which is why I finally felt compelled to say something and add to those supporting her.
RoseLouise – I truly hate that this happened to you. I hate that you are questioning your part in this. Let me again repeat: YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. Drinking too much is not an excuse, it’s not a reason, it’s not an invitation. He took advantage of your friendship and he admitted he would do it again.
He’s thisclose to being a full on rapist.
I am glad you are going to seek counseling and I hope you understand that it doesn’t matter what state you were in, you did not consent. You could not consent. You are completely and totally blameless.
@RoseLouise, I just want to reiterate that this was not your fault. He made a choice to do what he did, and that is completely on him. A lot of us have been where you are, and we know what all the second-guessing feels like. You are doing the best thing you can do by seeing a counselor– I didn’t do that for many years, and I wish I’d done it way sooner. I’m sending you all the internet hugs.
