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@Veritek I don’t know if I would have answered the texts, I would have been curious to know why he set up a date in the first place or I would have scolded the guy. Or maybe if I was interested, I would have told him that I would be paying for my meal. I think there are a lot of possible interpretations of his texts, he could be dissapointed due to past dates. Not cool to text someone you don’t know at 3 am. But then again, he could have been regretting standing you up.
I texted that german dude last week to set up a coffee date. He never answered. So, bye.
Three weeks ago my ex boyfriend’s dog died. I loved that dog, and he did too. He cried his eyes out, or so he says.
Anyways, we weren’t talking but I didn’t have him blocked or anything. He told me at work that his dog had died, since he knew how much I loved that dog. We started talking and texting regularly. Then last week we went for coffee. He told me he really misses me. Also told me he is in therapy, and has been going weekly. He says he wants a life with me and that he always has but our relationship had become too much for him and we were fighting a lot and he couldn’t stand it. I told him that I would think about it. I miss him too and I am not over him yet. But I don’t want to get back together without a plan or knowing what went wrong. I also wouldn’t want to think that all of this is because of grief, which he says is not. He agreed we need more time apart but this is all new to me. I didn’t know he felt that way.
I am going to the beach with friends for a week starting Saturday and I can’t wait. I’ll have some time to think then.

I’m not saying it’s wrong to say it so early. I’m saying it was surprising for me. If you don’t want kids, then maybe put it in your profile. I matched with him because it didn’t say anything. I won’t waste anyone’s time because I don’t know.

@MissDre at least you know that he is willing to have the difficult conversations with you which means he is serious and he sees a future.
Long distance is hard and it must be harder on him since he moved to a different country.
@Veritek sorry for that, but I bet margaritas were better than what the date could have been.

Thanks everyone for the good thoughts.

So, on wednesday I was bitching here about ending up alone but doing nothing about it. So, I decided to take action, downloaded Tinder again and matched with ten dudes in half an hour. Decided to pull a “Copa” and messaged all of them just to see what I got.
All of them responded but I only followed up on one, who seemed like the most interesting one. Very interesting dude, german living here and we moved the conversation to text.
We texted yesterday, he is funny and smart. I decided that I wanted to meet him without texting too much, like many people here have recommended. So I asked him out this weekend. He said he already had a trip planned. And stopped answering. So, maybe too forward?
Anyways, I know that this takes patience and time. I have felt that way many times, but most of the time I feel happy and fine. One of my longtime friends is coming back after spending 5 years in France getting her PhD, and she is single too, so I can’t wait for her to come back. She is the funniest and most adventurous person I know and when she was here we planned trips almost every weekend and we had a lot of fun. That’s what I need right now.

Happy birthday MissDre! You deserve roses and more.

I agreed to his friendship request because I wanted to see what he looked like and because I am actually very private in Facebook. I think I have about 30 photos total. Two of them were with my ex and were from last year. I never post anything there. I never add anyone that I have never met but I did it with this guy. Anyways, looking back I see a lot of red flags now (constantly asking about my ex was one).

@ktfran I was actually pretty meh about the date and the guy. I was only hoping for a good meal and a good conversation. I think I saved myself from a very awkward meal.