Copa
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Not a huge update, but BG has been out of town the past three(!) weekends in a row, and I’m so excited he’s home this weekend. I’ve seen him where possible between trips on weeknights, but I kinda hate weeknight plans because I can’t hang anymore and feel exhausted the next day at work. We’re going out to dinner and seeing Crazy Rich Asians, which I’ve heard good things about.
Anyone else have fun dates planned this weekend? 🙂
My mom has a star sapphire ring somewhere, it’s super cool! I’m not a ring person, and never have been, when I wear jewelry, I never reach for the rings I own. I kinda think I’d be someone who would forget to put an engagement ring or wedding band on half the time.
A friend of a friend just recently engaged, and I guess her fiance has synesthesia. For him, that means he hears colors. He got his fiance a sapphire ring because he hears blue when she speaks. I thought that was sweet.
Yeah, mostly curious, none of this is relevant to my life right now. I have a lot of friends who have (or had) ring expectations I find weird, like needing it to cost over a certain amount (the three months’ salary rule or whatever is absurd to me) and braying about it, whereas all I really want is to be equal partners in a marriage and to my mind that would include a ring.
I really like a lot of vintage/antique rings.
@veritek YAY! Omg! That’s so exciting. You ARE a success story even if you won’t call yourself one!
Random and possibly weird question: Do couples these days go in on the cost of an engagement ring together? I remember when I was like 23 one of my friends got engaged and she was such a snot about it, saying things like “You’re not ready to get married if your fiance can’t afford at least a $10K engagement ring!” and “My fiance loves me $XX,000 amount.” (BARF!) And, I’m someone who would like a nice ring (not necessarily expensive, just one I like) and would be fine splitting the cost, but IDK if that’s common.
@shakeourtree That’s basically how I feel! No dating anxiety here. It feels easy. I really look forward to seeing him. He’s so kind and nonjudgmental and affectionate, and he already feels like a safe space. I think if he were someone else I’d be kinda panicked that we weren’t exclusive by now, but he’s consistent and reliable and I’m not worried. (Famous last words!? Ha!) I actually told my therapist that I feel like I have all this free time/free mental space that I’d normally waste on worry.
Eh, it’s been like three months, so it’s still pretty new. We haven’t had the exclusivity talk, but I feel good about things.
Oh, and I think in this or another thread we were talking about introducing the people we’re dating to friends, and I had mentioned that I don’t think it’s a huge deal to introduce friends early-ish on, but anyone I date probably wouldn’t meet a lot of key players in my life for awhile because of distance. About a month from now, three of my best friends from middle and high school overseas are going to be in town. And I’m excited that BG will get to meet them, because I’ve known them forever — they knew me when I had awful bangs and acne! — but we live in different states/countries/continents and reunions are hard and happen once every year if we’re lucky. I’m excited for everyone to be together. One is traveling with her boyfriend, and I’ve never met him. Another is bringing her fiance, and I’ve met him once and he’s a good man.
Chocolate cupcakes with PB frosting sound delightful! You guys must be coming up on the one-year mark, right?
Things are still going well with BG! He went to London for work two Friday ago and was there for over a week. One of my oldest friends lives in London and she actually got together with him one night after work and showed him some local spots. So last night I went to his place for dinner, and it was just so nice to be with him. It had been almost two weeks! He brought me back some British munchies. One of them is a chocolate bar that I used to buy when I lived overseas that I only found in certain countries, and I was so excited to see it in the little box he had for me. He leaves again on Friday, this time for an annual trip he takes with his guy friends, then has another work trip two weeks from now. The travel for his job isn’t the easiest, especially when they send him cool places where he decides to extend his trip out there, but I don’t feel to compelled to be swiping around. We’ve both started talking slightly longer term, like trips we could take together in 2019. I stayed too late last night, I’m exhausted today.
@Cleopatra_30 Chiming in to say I think it’s fine if you’re not ready after a year of dating! I honestly don’t think I would be, though at my age (early 30s), would hope to be with someone I can see myself living with when we hit the one year mark. I also think if you’re moving next fall anyway, it makes sense to wait just from a practical standpoint.
My only experience living with a boyfriend was when I was 23, and we moved in together mostly for convenience/finances, and I guess cause we thought it’d be fun to play house. The decision was made super cavalierly, we weren’t mature enough. We broke up at 25 and I was devastated. I don’t want to live with an SO again without a more firm commitment because of that experience. I can’t believe either of us thought we were ready for that step at such a young age. (I know not everyone is different, but I get anxiety when I hear about anyone like 25 or under getting married because I think about how completely different I am now just a handful of years later.)
All this to say, I think it’s more than fine to take your time in taking the next step, and good that you realize it’s a pretty big deal. I’m not sure how old you guys are, but generally speaking, I think the younger you are, the more it makes sense to date longer. I think if I were you, my personal preference would be to make it through school and LDR, and the natural “trigger” for me to have more serious move-in talks would be when I started planning my life after graduation.
Hm. Things are still going well with BG, though his travel schedule has made things so start/stop. But I feel like we’re both trying. Saw him both Saturday and Sunday of this past weekend, including one date at a pretty nice restaurant I’ve always wanted to try. (Food was freakin’ amazing!) Then he took off on a work trip. He comes home today, and leaves for another trip tomorrow. So I’m dropping by his place tonight on my way home from therapy for a quick hello/goodbye so that we don’t have to go over two weeks without seeing each other. As a side note, his upcoming trip is to London, where an old friend of mine lives, so I contacted her asking her for recommendations for him that he wouldn’t find without the help of locals. So this friend and her fiance might actually meet up with him one evening while he’s there if schedules allow, which I think would be super fun.
In Neighbor News, I can’t even handle how immature he is. Yesterday morning we were in a situation where he couldn’t avoid me. He refused to face me (literally, back to me) or make eye contact while our briefly dogs sniffed each other out. He eventually mustered a, “Hey, how’s it going?” without any eye contact. I said a cheery hello. I’m starting to *actually* relish in his awkward behavior (instead of just faking it) because I think it’s so stupid at this point. Our fling or whatever was MONTHS ago and MY feelings were the ones that were hurt, not his, yet HE is the one who can’t seem to act normal? Good grief.
