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Yeah, it’d be nice to have more supportive parents, but I don’t bother getting upset about it at this point. They are who they are and their awful marriage has really colored their perspective on a lot of things. Which is understandable. My sister is excited for us and is going to help me pack and wants to help us get settled in. And that means something to me!
@TheLadyE I’m glad you got to spend some time with your boyfriend, even if it involved distancing and masks. I’ve felt very grateful to have my boyfriend through all of this. Physical touch — even just the ability to get a hug or whatever — is important! I listened to a podcast about how people who were single or otherwise alone during the pandemic have been dealing with “skin hunger.” Like people described what it felt like to accidentally graze a cashier’s hand or how they’d try to self-soothe after going so long with zero touch.As an aside, one of my friends is married to a doctor and had a baby in May. In March, her husband got sick and they didn’t know what it was at the time so they had to wear masks at home, keep their distance, and clean like crazy for… awhile. He later got an antibody test, and his March illness was COVID. If my friend caught it (we may never know) she was totally asymptomatic. The last couple months of her pregnancy were very stressful on them.
No clue, tbh. My whole immediate family dynamics are pretty whacky to other people. My dad and I don’t have much of a relationship and it’s a fairly awkward one when we talk. He was a really controlling and critical dad growing up and was not good to my mom in many ways.
Anyway, he’s met my boyfriend maybe three times in the 2+ years we’ve been dating, and in those times, hasn’t really tried to get to know him. This is just how my dad is, it’s not a reflection of my boyfriend. He’s never shown an interest in getting to know anyone I’ve dated, or even friends who were frequently around when I was growing up. If he thinks my boyfriend is a bad pick, I don’t know why because he doesn’t know him. He then asked me if there were any legal implications, and my immediate reaction was, “Oh, he’s just wondering if I did something dumb by buying property with a boyfriend,” and I told him no. After we hung up, I realized he may have been asking if we quietly got married. Also no.
My mom likes my boyfriend. She hasn’t congratulated us — my parents are generally unsupportive and this is not out of character — but has been otherwise supportive even though she’s not going to tell us she’s excited for us. She’d speak up if she thought it was a bad idea, and I’d put stock in her opinion. My dad’s? Not as much. But the way he approached it just made me feel frustrated and kinda shitty because it felt critical of a relationship he knows very little about. Like even if you’re not excited for me or don’t think it warrants a congratulations or just want me to understand it’s not a step to be taken lightly, that’s fine — but something like a “Wow, that’s a big step,” would’ve been a better reaction.
Oh, and forgot to add. My dad did not say anything when I told my family I was moving in with BG. Over the weekend, we were speaking by phone and he asked, “Are you sure this is the right thing for you?” I asked what he meant by that and he said he meant what he said. So there’s that reaction, which I didn’t love and made me feel kinda bad.
Yikes, @veritek! Glad you guys are ok. And hope you feel okay physically, too. I once involved in a five-car pile-up on a highway and we all walked away unharmed, thank goodness, but I was SO sore the next day. Hope your dad is doing better, too.
@hfantods Glad you guys had a good time! I generally have been able to enjoy myself vacationing with an SO’s family, but it can be tiring.I’ve listed my apartment for relet online. I’ve had about three people flake out with no notice for scheduled times to see the place, which is frustrating. Yesterday a guy came by with his dad to view it and they treated it like a condo showing. Turned on every faucet, flushed the toilet, tested the outlets, opened every cabinet. And after they left, he texted to ask questions like how many outlets there are (he forgot to count!) and asked if I could send him screenshots of my most recent electric and gas bills. I’ve never been this thorough in my life with a rental. I’m hoping his follow up, though odd, means his interest is sincere because I’d like this particular worry off my shoulders.
BG and I are doing an overnight near a beach town in western Michigan this weekend and I’m excited. It was supposed to be a long weekend trip near another beach town in MI, which I was very much looking forward to, but we cut it down to one night and changed locations to cut costs with our move coming up. Looking forward to it regardless.
Yeahhh, I’m worried the Bernie crowd is going to mess things up. I’ve seen some Bernie supporters hashtagging #NeverBiden and calling him #BlueMAGA on social media and saying they’re not going to be intimidated into voting for him, and will vote third party instead. I think it’s stupid and I don’t get it… I actually think it’s a really selfish thing to do at this point. Like, Biden wasn’t my first pick either, but he’s got my vote because four more years of Trump scares me.
Sorry to hear about your boss’s wife, @MoneyPenny. News like that always feels so startling and I’m sure feels extra heavy with everything that’s going on in our country.
@hfantods Have fun! Let us know how it goes with your boyfriend spending so much time with your family.
Thanks, everyone! I’m excited to close the distance between us. I’m also a little apprehensive — briefly lived with one boyfriend about 10 years ago but have lived by myself since and really grew to love it. Not at all looking forward to the actual packing and moving bit, but making a new place ours together is something I’m looking forward to.
BG is really good about “ours” rather than “yours vs. mine” but this feels so big that I feel like I can’t call it ours until we’re there.
After last night’s looting, I noticed some local businesses near me boarding up again.
And just like that, the place is ours! BG’s, really. We celebrated last night with a little too much wine and I’m paying for it today. We’re both still shocked by how quickly things moved. His sold his condo and bought a new one in under a week. He closes on the place on September 15th, so tomorrow I have to call my leasing company to figure out what my options are/what the processes for subleasing or reletting are.
Heh, your old place is just a few blocks north of the one we like! I already like that area, but I’ve been in the same neighborhood the entire time I’ve lived here and it feels like home. I know I’d adjust, but I do feel sad to leave this area. Obviously nothing’s a done deal, but I’m getting excited and nervous all at once!
So BG negotiated with the buyer and accepted an offer. And just put an offer in on the place we liked that we’re hoping to get. This escalated quickly. Here’s to hoping they accept!
SO, BG just heard from his realtor. He got an offer! I’m honestly stunned. It’s on the lower side, so I guess now he’ll discuss with his realtor if he should accept or negotiate or what. He has the lowest price he’d accept in his mind so I think if he can get them to meet him there… things just got real!
ETA: @Ktfran That’s honestly pretty nuts. I didn’t really want to see the unit I ended up loving. It’s on Ashland, and I’ve always been on quiet, tree-lined streets, and we’d already seen one unimpressive unit in a nearly identical building like three doors down (unsure if they’re all part of the same HOA, but floorplans are all the same). But no, I loved it. Top floor, great natural light, three outdoor spaces, close to transit, close to Southport Corridor and Roscoe Village. I so surprised it hadn’t been scooped up. The realtor said it’s very dated for the asking price, but BG and I both live in 100+-year-old residences so we had no clue — we’re both used to dated, I guess, so we thought it looked modern enough. Like I knew looking around there would be a few cosmetic updates I’d want to make, but they weren’t deal breakers to me. Anyway, I shouldn’t have fallen in love with property but I did. And that’s my love story with it.
Wow! That’s very fast! Homes seem to be selling quickly here, too, but because I would’ve never jumped at the chance to buy his place — I certainly like it, but don’t love it for reasons I’m sure I’ve already shared — it’s hard for me to imagine anyone else doing so. But they might!
In June, we saw condo a few buildings down from BG’s out of sheer curiosity. It was a beautiful home but the realtor thought it was priced too high. It sold in two days for about $15K over asking price. I don’t think we’ll have that kind of luck, but an offer within a couple weeks would be great. His realtor said that the early interest we’re seeing in the place is very positive, so that’s good. The place we liked and hope could be ours goes off the market temporarily starting tomorrow so we’ve got our fingers crossed that nobody else falls in love with it today!
