Elle

From DW, I’ve learned what a good relationship should be like. All the letters are about problems in relationships, and how they should be dealt with. I’ve learned that it’s important to communicate about problems, and that the other party, as well-intentioned as they may be, cannot read minds.

I’ve also learned that it’s not healthy to put all the blame on myself, and the way someone else behaves is not a reflection of me, just them. And the hardest thing, when you realize that, is to let go (of anger, of hope). I’ve dated a couple of people lately, and although it was hard to MOA and let go, I know, at least on an intellectual level, that it was the right thing. Emotionally, I’m still struggling to catch up, but thanks to Wendy, it’s a lot easier than what it used to.

DW has been a constant in my life for a couple of years now, as I moved to two different towns where the only people I knew were the people that interviewed me – not exactly the people I could go out for a drink with. Having a sense of stability helped me tremendously. Also, I was able to ask for advice a few times when I didn’t have anyone else to turn to. (Friends in the old town didn’t know what was going on, and I didn’t know the people in the new town well enough).

Reading some letters on here makes me go – oh, I’ve been in this exact situation, I dealt with it badly and in hindsight, this is what I wish I had done. Some letters are situations I’ve never been in, but thanks to the ‘training’ I got here, I’m sure I’m more equipped to recognize them if I happen to be in them in the future. Also, reading other people’s comments and seeing different perspectives on how problems should be dealt with is awesome. We all know a few people in our lives, and we don’t have a play-by-play of their lives, even though we interact with them frequently. Having access to this “collective knowledge” (I don’t know what else to call it) on relationships is, in my opinion, invaluable. And Wendy was the creative force behind it. She created it out of an idea, a dream. Wendy, your dream has come true (or at least, you’ve come a long way, if your dream is bigger than what you’ve accomplished in the past year). Congratulations, from all my heart. And thank you!