Eve

@Cleopatra_30 This is so creepy.. it’s a pitty these meet up groups have become like this.
And the meet up guys I mention earlier, they aren’t exactly harrassing me, but it is a bit off putting when you see what most guys’ main goal of attending these meet ups is. Ironically, the one dude who comes the closest to “harrassment” is actually the founder and organiser of the meet up.. so I can’t complain to the organiser about himself I guess.
Although I normally get along way better with guys, because of this I have become closer friends with the women in the meet up groups. I mean I get people make friends and get close and things can happen, this is only natural, but as I said you can see most of them aren’t even interested in the activity at hand..
Still, it’s overall a great way to meet lovely people. Meanwhile my track record of hitting it off with amazing guys who end up being actually engaged continues.. At 24, it is weird meeting so many people my age who are engaged/married. I guess that’s the main advantage of dating sites, you know everyone you meet will (hopefully) be single and looking for the same thing as you.

I just decided to randomly chime in here after many months of absence (and sporadic period of spying on the thread) mainly to vent a bit about my pathetic dating life :/
I don’t use online dating because I don’t feel comfortable with it and because of the job I do, I don’t want people seeing me there. I am quite active, go out all the time so meet new people regularly anyway, I much prefer meeting people in person – I can see who the creeps are immediately! 😀
Recently I joined a meetup group in my city with the idea to make some new interesting friends outside work. They are all *such* lovely people, I can’t wait to go to more meetups! 🙂
Back to the dating topic.. the men who tend to be in these meetups (as well as at dance classes and most places I go to) give the impression they are there for the sole purpose of getting a girlfriend or sleeping around (not to actually have a good time with everyone) and they come across as incredibly pushy and desperate. I mean, the ones who message you 5 times a day to see what you’re doing tonight, start getting pissy if you don’t reply within the next hour, make *very* low quality flirting attempts, etc.. Which is a bit annoying because, like most of the people there, I joined these meetups to make new friends.
Quite often I do meet kind, normal, level headed, relationship-focused non- creepy guys, but they have this annoying habit of always being in seriously long-term relationships (like 5-6 years..) 😀 Or if they actually are single, sometimes I’ll meet them days before they are moving out of the country to live at the other end of the World – which has been good for having a short fling, but that’s where it would end of course.
I’ve been on some dates but I sometimes don’t feel a real connection or the guy acts way too clingy and this stresses me out. I’ve been single for more than a year and a half and it makes me think whether I am expecting too much from a man or if there’s something wrong with me. People have told me it’s a numbers game, but then you have people who have met the love of their life at 18 with whom they’re still together 5 years later and it makes you think..

Anyway thanks for listening to (reading) my rant, I’ll try to keep up to date with this thread and respond, because it’s an amazing thread 🙂

Yes, I think a girl/woman with lots of interesting plans and stuff to do with her life is much more attractive to a guy 🙂 As long as she still shows excitement about seeing him and makes active plans to see him, so it doesn’t seem like it’s excuses and doesn’t discourage the guy. It’s like “Look, I really want to see you, I am really into you, but I also have an awesome life and friends and family I love and have lots of fun with”.

The guy I was saying I am not feeling, he sent me the sweetest text saying he would really like to see me again. I spent like 30 mins composing the “perfect” rejection text – firm enough not to lead him on, but still kind and compassionate so I don’t seem like a heartless b*tch. 😀
Thankfully he took it very well, very mature and sweet as always (which kind of made be feel even more guilty).

Now game over, I’m back to square zero, replay. I am not liking this whole (dating) game. Is there a way to just skip all the squares and go to happy ending?!

Thanks @Loo , this is reassuring 🙂 I honestly wasn’t even excited before our last date, which is probably a pretty bad sign. :/

@veracityb you are very, very right there – I am always so scared of leading on/hurting/misleading people (massive people pleasing issues here…) that I probably miss out on some fun opportunities just to make sure I don’t do that. And I probably come across as quite guarded because of this.

@Stonegypsy thanks, it’s again good to know you’ve also felt this way. Oh well, hopefully there are other nice guys out there who’re looking for relationships instead of hook ups (they probably won’t be my age though)

I had my second date, it was very casual, we spoke for ages and had a nice time.
There is nothing that seems particularly “off” with him (okay, there is some, I just don’t want to nitpick, nothing major) but I am simply not feeling it. I mean, I am not that attracted to him, I see him as a great friend, but I don’t see him in any romantic/intimate way.
I feel horrible, I finally meet a genuinely nice guy and I am not feeling like dating him – what’s wrong with me anyway? I am sabotaging my love life! I didn’t feel like kissing him but he didn’t do anything romantic either, he is acting super friendly but quite reserved and shy – perhaps never had a girlfriend ?! (again, we’re quite young!)
But he kept going on about when he’ll want to see me next, so there is some interest.. Is there any point carrying on? I might still be seeing him at work I am not sure how to go about this..