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Fyodor, I appreciate this reply! As i said, i need to grow in this, i really do. So ive also been starting to realize i shouldn’t be dependant on others for my own happiness like this. I truly understand your point of view but what about this:

“clearly stated desire to be done with this crap”. Her telling me she still wants to go on dates (literally), come chill at my place, visit my hometown and saying i could still always stay to sleep over like we did. Makes it pretty confusing, can you imagine.

And again, i don’t feel like im owed anything. I do want romantic attention and she stopped it out of the blue, her choice, of course. But id just rather know why than have her try not hurt me. I want to know why, so i can improve that part of myself. It’s how i am. I used to be an introverted, awkward loner but managed to make something out of myself through social interaction and feedback, using that to actively improve myself. It’s this part, the not being able to handle emotional/romantic situations that’s still there which is always a burden. It’s always the thing i blame myself for. I know emotional comfort is something i should be able to find by myself.

But don’t worry, the continued torrent of hiveminded comments saying i should leave it have made their impact. It’s sort of what i was looking for, really. You should know i am really not emotionally mature, it’s been my working point for the last few years. It’s what i hope to grow in though actively engaging in the thing it’s important to.

Maybe worth noting is that i very recently made the decision to turn my life around for the good. I made some very hard decisions and felt like i was on a turning point in my life. For example, got rid of addiction. A day later, i met her. So in my head it feels like she’s been some sort of katalyst. I am fully aware this doesn’t affect her in any way, it makes it a bit harder for me to give it all a place.

lol anonymousse. Hope you feel accomplished now?

1) read my original post again, first paragraph
2) there was a fucking ‘mutual agreement’, and i know, which is the whole fucking point of this thread, isn’t it then?
3) probably yes, and again, more complex than you’d think
4) also probably, if i didn’t need help i wouldn’t be here

And by that friendzone comment part, i meant say something more than simply that, because i knew that already.

To be honest, you’re unnecessarily rude, seems like you’ve got some problem of your own. I also only started replying pretty late, when people were starting to get more rude and assuming untrue things for some reason. So, no. I don’t even see the point in debating you since all you care about is your own agenda or something.

Plus the reasonable people on here are actually a rather good alternative for counseling.

Haven’t you seen an evolution in my comments actually? I need to be able to talk about these things and get feedback. Lookie here.

Fyodor, thing is, i am not actually continuing to push her for explanations. I am thinking of doing that to put my mind at ease. I left it where it’s at, but am still struggling with my thoughts. Which is why i’m here. It’s not her responsibility to explain anything, but in my opinion just asking and telling her i’m actually struggling with this hurts nobody. Maybe it does, and my opinion is wrong. I believe i may just be a dense person who needs very clear messages, you see? People need feedback in order to grow and im getting a lot of that on here. I still think it’s wrong of some people to shoot me down like that, i just don’t know how to deal with my feelings.

I know i have a lot to learn on this matter, i am fully aware that my mindset about this only causes problems. It’s true that having a “fuck it” attitude works out better always. But it ain’t easy. In fact, it’s the hardest thing there is for me.

anonymousse, sorry but you’re assuming a lot of things here. We had one brief conversation about it before our last date. All the other things came from a relatively short conversation afterwards. I never pushed anything nor bother her to explain further. And you can date people without calling them your bf or gf, ive done that before and it’s what this was like. We went on multiple, literal dates. I took her to the mall, to the movies, we went out for dinner a few times. Those are dates, are they not? There were two occasions where we were drunk.

“She told you that, in different ways. Many, many ways.
Since you won’t respect her words and back off.
Then you started pressing her for reasons.
Until she realized she didn’t like you that much, and then you kept pressuring her and are trying to come up with reasons why she is doing what she is.”
VERY extremely put and not true at all. She initiated the first conversation, afterwards i simply asked her where we’re at. That was two weeks ago and i haven’t spoken to her since. You make it sound like i stalked her for days, not leaving her alone and harassing her without end. Very much exagerrated. So please, please do not say things you don’t know about.

I do genuinly respect everyone’s replies here because they do make me think about this in another way. But honestly, you’re just spewing. I don’t like what i read in most comments, but you’re literally not being of any help whatsoever. You may have missed the part in my original post that i already had sex in the meantime. It’s not purely sex i’m after. Ive had fuckbbuddies before and that doesn’t please me. I don’t feel like anyone owes me anything. I feel like it’s me to blame in each and everyone of those situations and that’s the most frustrating part. Not knowing what the hell is wrong with you, if there even is anything wrong.

By the way, i just found out it may be becoming more serious with that other guy. And simply by knowing he may have charmed her more then me, i can deal with it better. Because it’s more of an outside factor than rather my personality or anything.

And no, i am in my third year of university. But i do indeed feel like a highschooler on this matter, which is why i need to learn how to deal with this shit. Stop being a keyboard warrior.

Look, Kate, you seem like a very judgemental woman. I’m young, have difficulties with finding love, myself and whatnot. Made mistakes. Don’t know the perfect things to say in difficult situations and am feeling very blue. What would you have called our ‘thing’ then if not dating?

Maybe i’m oblivious. And actually by seeing all of your comments, and trying to ‘defend’ my statements makes me look at them differently. If i’m left with my own thoughts, nothing good comes from it. I need to be able to talk about it and receive feedback in order to learn, so i can handle (or rather cope with) this situation the best way. So maybe it is better doing this than going to her for answers. I’m still 100% positive that i’d still like to have her as a friend, just not for the moment.

But really, all of you going on about ‘creepiness’ and restraining orders can fuck right off.