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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

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Viewing 12 posts - 49 through 60 (of 78 total)
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  • in reply to: A kind of relationship #1029240
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    cant take lw seriously bc of the poor choice of username!

    lmao- @kates comment

    in reply to: Opinion needed please #1021979
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Maybe instead of trying to take poll of who is right or wrong, why don’t you guys find compromises to this informal relationship.

    I don’t think either is wrong or right AND religious beliefs shouldn’t trump others comforts either. Both should be respectful of their personal space with each other. This is just as much P2 personal space as P1.

    Instead of P1 getting BEEF for P2, have P2 get it! Maybe buy a Refrigerator/mini frig and put that beef in it and buy the kitchen utensil that P2 can use that doesn’t cross contaminate P1’s “area” when in the kitchen.

    This isn’t a health or safety issue, but a mutual respect issue. Try to find a common ground and ask family/friends to help come up with unique compromises.

    in reply to: Tired of in law situation #1013216
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Your husband and YOU will have to go through with the hassle/expense of paying MIL housing/needs.

    My suggestion is to let your husband know that you are overwhelmed with “hosting” his mother and that he needs to step up with either getting her her own place or contacting his sister and getting her wherever she is.
    Also, your MIL either needs to get a job or get some form of government benefits to start helping you guys out and to help herself out. That’s ridiculous. Esp. if she isn’t helping with any child care or household chores.

    I would also try to get on top of what the issue is on her VISA. Is it COVID related? Cause if not, get whatever issue it is fixed and send her packing to sisters house.

    If you and the kids are able to travel, go visit family. Take that respite/holiday vacation. Let him stay behind to figure out his mommy issues.

    Karebear1813
    Participant

    LW – The man you are in a relationship is HER DAD. He chose to take on that responsibly of fathering her and being that father figure when her own biological dad didn’t step up. That is a noble act and if anything, it shows you how good of a man you are with. I understand that you have pictured the picture perfect family life with a man that has no strings attached but this man does have strings and you have to figure out if you can ever be okay with this and eventually treat this child as your own one day. I think the primary issue of why you feel so negative about this is because of the child’s mother and because there seems to be some kind of bad blood between you guys. Don’t shame an innocent child because of who their parents are or where they come from. Instead, do you think you could be a positive female influence in her life. I also think you need to dig deep down and figure out where this jealous and insecurity is coming from. Maybe through therapy.

    Karebear1813
    Participant

    That 70 yr old man was, and maybe still is, her sugar daddy. Good for him to show proof of her willingly engaging in sexual activity to cover his ass. She not only has lied to you but is now making allegations of serious crimes against the old man. I hope you told this man what she has told you so he has a chance to distance himself from this crazy.


    @FYI
    is 100% correct that you are the poster child for being Gaslighted. If ever a perfect example exist, this is it! And I love the fact that @FYI pointed out that you had chemically altered your brain because your fiancés manipulated you so much that she made you believe it was YOU. Honestly, your fiancés could quite questionably be a Sociopath.

    If you bought a house together, meaning its in both of your names, go talk to a lawyer. Get your name off the mortgage. If it is in your name then if I was you I’d offer to move her out and pay her rent for the first month or something just to get her out of the home. Do confirm she is pregnant, by medical records, I wouldn’t trust an at home pregnancy’s test, and yes a DNA test.

    If it is your child, talk to an attorney and do step up and parent your child. But end the relationship with her.

    in reply to: Missouri Trip #1009213
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Ted Drewes looks delicious but they are temporarily closed and apparently until Vday!

    Thats a bummer. I had already picked out my concrete icecream.

    in reply to: Advice on freeloading adult brother and mother #1009177
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Yes! def. talk with a lawyer and talk with the police. Ask if there is a way you could install inside video cameras in the common areas of the home in case your mom does attempt to act on her threats? Yes, get renters insurance asap if you dont have it.

    I would find a new place, DO NOT TELL THEM THE ADDRESS, and slowly pack your belongings. When you start cleaning out the common areas, you might want to do it quickly and come up with some lie, like remodeling/redecorating – new furniture etc. Like maybe do this right before you leave.

    Your mom belongs on the streets. Fact! Regarding your brother, I would suggest finding a shelter that can provide 3 meals a day and a bed/shower at night that has case workers that can help him get on his feet if he is willing to accept that help and take him there. Do this on the day you are officially leaving that home. Let him know this is what you can do for him and offer to keep his belongings until he gets his own place but I wouldn’t tell him were you are living either. This might have you sleep better at night but If he refuses, let him walk.
    AND do not take your mom anywhere. Don’t offer any help.

    in reply to: Your kids are a bad influence on mine #1008647
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    I think its odd LW sister didnt pick the phone up long before this gathering to address this. It seems like she might have been avoiding this subject but I dont think this is a subject to avoid unless LW is confrontational and super defensive.

    in reply to: Your kids are a bad influence on mine #1008537
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    @anonymousse I think @Auntshea and @Lisah are two different people, no?

    Well I sure hope so.

    in reply to: Your kids are a bad influence on mine #1008294
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    No you don’t need to pester your sister or anyone regarding staying the night. But I do think it is worth bringing up the reason she believes her son has learned bad words at your home. Its very common for kids to lie about where they heard “bad words” in attempts to distract the truth. It would also be beneficial to sit down with your child and have an honest talk about the language in the home and the language around his cousin.

    At their age they know what they are allowed and not allowed to say, even if other adults say it. My nephew loved bad words between 5/6yrs old. He wasn’t taught it, he heard it 100% from is parents but he had been disciplined to learn that he isn’t allow to say adult words.

    Your sister is a fool to assume her child only learned this language at your home considering his spends most of his time at her home.

    Some parents sometimes like to put the blame on others when in fact their the ones to blame.

    in reply to: A relationship that has hit every rock. Please help! #1005242
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    LW – sounds like you came back home and jump right back in a relationship with this guy and wanted to play family. And what you are getting is a big man child who is taking food out of your child’s mouth and money out of your pocket book whilst being a moocher. That alone should make you want to kick him to the curve.

    Send him packaging back to his parents. We aren’t to far from a year of being on lockdowns. If he isnt helping with the basic of house chores or financial support, he isnt worth keeping around. And to be frank, if this guy can barely care for himself, what the heck makes you think he can care for a child.

    He has alot of growing up to do and the RAF will hopefully help but dont sit around and wait on this one.

    in reply to: BFs mother I feel is crossing boundaries #1005098
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Stevie did you save money to buy a home? or just b/f? Because you say that your name wasn’t put on the loan/mortgage due to bad credit? Which is interesting because even with bad credit you can still “buy a house” esp. if you are a cosigner.

    It sounds like you assume this is your home because you are in a relationship with the person who bought it but you don’t mention anything about how serious this relationship is or if it is leading towards marriage. Its fine to stay in a relationship without making it formal but you have to protect yourself and have to have a partner agreeing to that protection.

    If your paying rent then the only thing you have is renter rights. I wouldn’t make anymore big purchases without a clear contract as to who owns the piece of property and you should keep receipt of the purchase/value/and form of payment.

    And with it being his home, even as a renter, he can approve of whomever he wants to come in the home without your permission.

Viewing 12 posts - 49 through 60 (of 78 total)
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