Matthew

I definitely remember the last last-name thread, and probably shared some of these thoughts in it, but I figure it might be fun to get a guy’s opinion again.

I’m more traditional and would definitely prefer to have said future-Mrs. take my last name. There’s no good rational logical reason for it. Simply put, it’s been done that way in both sides of my family as far back as I can go, so that tradition just feels ‘right.’ An SO telling me they didn’t want to take my last name would absolutely take me time to process before I was comfortable with it. And I feel like I might question whether the person was committed to me. It sounds so superficial, but there is something palpable about the name-change that cements everything in my head. I suspect that any potential SO would easily convince me I was being crazy for thinking they weren’t committed though.

I guess the short of it is that I don’t think it’s unreasonable for the guy to be emotionally attached to the idea of the SO taking his name. We may be becoming more progressive as a society, but it doesn’t at all mean the gender-biased traditions are gone or that they have to be kicked to the curb just for progressivism’s sake. If your BF is hesitant about you not changing your name; you probably just need to give him time.

In a bizarre twist, I started seeing someone who shares the same last name as me (very common). So for now at least, I guess this discussion doesn’t matter much for me 😉