misses98
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I’d like to be killed
I want to be well and happy but this seems like it’s just not for me. My illnesses will never ever go away. People have managed to treat depression, but MS? Diabetes? Epilepsy?
They will aaaall be there for all my life. It’s not a mental problem. It’s, my body is permanently destroyed.
I managed to lose weight after years. For what? Those meds will put it all back triple. And make diabetes much worse. They don’t care psych meds make diabetes and weight worse. They don’t care.
I have no energy for trial and error with meds and side effects. I am far too exhausted for this.
I have multiple sclerosis, diabetes and epilepsy none of which I do something for.
I started taking an antipsychotic, an antidepressant and anxiolytics, around a month ago. They make me far too dysfunctional. But psychiatrist said to continue. He also gave me a Xanax prescription that I’m not going to go get because the last thing I need is an addiction.
I don’t like my life as it is, and often I want to harm myself.
I would like help to stop though, but I find it cruel that she doesn’t help me start together and instead expects me to do it alone.
I haven’t been able to follow through meds for my physical conditions for over 9 years.
How does she expect I do it alone. Of course she doesn’t trust me. Because she knows I can’t do it alone.
I am about to give up on the psych meds, too. Few last ones of the first box remain.
They are not the answer.
My life situations are not what I want them to be. And no chemical is changing that.
This really can’t be done.
My mother is happy and finally able to be free of constant responsibilities. She has been through a lot, her brother is fighting cancer etc. of course now doing better. I’m not ruining that. I’m pretending.
His mother is going through cancer. Definitely a no go.
I don’t think it mattered that I went to the ER, as it was pointless. Why go if nobody is going to see you.
Until I can be financially well enough, nothing can be done. If I ever am.
I wish I could sleep at least
I went to the ER today, stayed for about 5 hours crying. Nobody saw me, I got no help.
Priority is given to the patients who are brought by police. The rest of us were never seen by a doctor. We just waited for nothing.
I really can’t afford therapy, because if I go, I won’t be able to get food. It really isn’t an option for me.
I only have a hotline to talk to. That’s it. And let me tell you, I tried it, and they don’t respond. Lines are all occupied it seems.
I feel like all my efforts to get help are rejected.
People online have offered I can talk to them if I need someone to talk to, though. But it’s not helping. It never helps.
Felt horrible that nobody even saw me at the ER.
