RedRoverRedRover

I have a friend who changed her name when she got married, then changed it back a few months later.  She said she just couldn’t stand it, because it wasn’t her name (her husband doesn’t have a weird name or anything).

I have another friend who’s husband refused to marry her if she didn’t take his name.  I would have told that idiot where to go, but she changed it.

I didn’t change mine, and I’m so glad.  My name is literally my identity.  Everything I have ever achieved in my life is documented under my name.  I can’t think of any reason why I would ever give it up.  My husband was a bit disappointed, but he understands, and he knows that it’s my choice and he can’t change my mind.  I was disappointed that he was disappointed, because he’s quite a feminist and into equal rights, but what can you do?  I guess you feel how you feel, and that’s that.  I was a bit surprised though, because his parents are divorced, and now his mom is stuck with a last name that she doesn’t really identify with.  She’s half changed it back, but it was such a pain that she quit.  So now some of her credit cards have one last name, and some another.

Anyway, the biggest problem I have with not changing my name, is that now my kids won’t have my name.  🙁  Of course, even if I did change my name, they wouldn’t have MY name, they’d have my husband’s, which I just took because we got married.  It seems weird to me that there is no connection between my name and my potential child’s, considering that I’m the one that has to grow it for nine months, and then go through the ordeal of delivery at the end.  Anyone have any suggestions?  Ideally I’d like to toss a coin, give the first kid the winning last name, and then alternate.  Or give girls my last name and boys his last name.  But I doubt that he’ll go for that.