scorpio

We went out last night to celebrate St. Paddy’s Day and see a friend’s band play. The bar caterers to a late 20’s to early 40’s crowd so it wasn’t too bad, but afterwards we decided to walk down the street to see what it was like and there were drunken people everywhere (I live in a University town). Made me realize I am past the drunken party scene. Instead I had a good dinner out with friends, listened to some live music, was home at a reasonable hour and am feeling fine at work today.

@theladyE I agree with everyone to not use your name since it is so common. I have a fairly common first name and a job that puts my face out in the community quite a bit so I always used a pseudonym until I got to know someone.

I am so happy to hear that the comedy thing is going so well for you! I have been a lurker for quite awhile and remember when you posted about getting into it, it sounds like this has really turned out to be your thing. Which is so awesome!

I have also been super sick with a cold and my bf just caught it on Thursday so I think our St. Paddy’s day plans may be a bit more low-key this year. I still plan to drink a few beers, but I don’t think it will be as much of an all-out party as it usually is. I had wanted to go to Chicago since it is only about a 6 hour drive from me and I have heard St. Paddy’s day is pretty epic there, but the sickness has won. I know a few of you are from Chicago or that area, is it really that great? Or are you mostly just annoyed with the drunken tourists?

I am not the praying type, but I will keep your Mom in my thoughts @Veritek.

I am mostly a lurker, but love hearing the updates from people, especially as I find myself in a relatively new (6 months) relationship after I was sure the last one was “it”.

I hope all is well @theladye. How is life across the pond going @MissD?

Or try the Calm app if you are interested in meditation and soothing sleep sounds and stories.

@ale I have been there. At 33 I went through a hard breakup that I didn’t see coming at all! It felt like my whole world had flipped upside down and I couldn’t see a future because my whole future had been centered around building a life and starting a family with this partner.
I dated a bit a few months after the breakup, but then I took 18 months off dating completely. I took a hard look at my life and what would make me happy, such as partner, family, but also friends, career, hobbies, etc. I decided the best thing for me was to build the life I wanted to have and if I met someone who complimented that life great, but if I didn’t it wouldn’t matter cause I had built a life that made me happy.
These weren’t necessarily things, such as a boyfriend or my own kids, but more feelings and life goals, such as surrounding myself with people I love and who love me, having kids in my life that I can be a role-model for, being active and healthy, seeing the world. Then I looked at these and identified “things” that could help me achieve those life goals. I joined some rec sports leagues, made friends who other people who were single, tagged along with my couple friends as a third, fifth or seventh wheel, spent time with my friends kids, started to work out more, travelled on my own or with friends. Basically I created a life that I would be happy with if this is what it looked like until I was 70. I made the choice that if I wanted kids and was single, I would adopt and that was okay. I am not saying it was easy, I was still lonely or sad sometimes, and it took a lot of honest self-reflection to get there, but I did and I am so happy now.
I think taking the time to determine what feelings or goals are at a higher level and then breaking them down into action items will help. (I am also a very action-oriented person and love creating lists and plans.)
I am sorry you are going through a tough time, but it sounds like you are doing the right things to get yourself on a good path.
And I echo what other people say about just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you aren’t lonely or unhappy. A couple months after that breakup my ex wanted to get back together, and if I had I bet I would be married with kids right now, but I would also not be nearly as happy and self-aware as I am now.

Sorry if this gets posted twice, I thought I hit Submit but maybe I forgot. @MissD – I love seeing your updates and am excited for the ones you will be posting in the coming months. I don’t know you, but am so happy that you have found happiness with someone. I hope you were able to get your vacation sorted out at work.
@Copa – it is definitely worth the time to go back and read from the beginning, but it is a commitment. I basically kept Dear Wendy open in a browser on my phone for months and would read when I had a few minutes.

That is exciting @Copa. With the rise of online dating I love to hear stories of people meeting IRL. I agree, he probably wouldn’t ask for your number if he wasn’t interested in at least seeing if there was potential there.