Poppy
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My heart goes out to the women who experience this type of pain. I couldn’t/wouldn’t want to imagine the person I love not only cheating on but getting that person pregnant. That’s a nightmare. I’m sorry LW. If it were me I’d move on. Your worth is so much more than this.
LW you are not the MRS so no you are not prioritized over his children, no matter how old they are. If he married you than it would be a different story that his children would need to be civil with you and respect boundaries. However, what he chooses to do with his money isn’t your business. You have children yourself so would you like someone to fell the way you fell about your children. The fact that you too put your hands on each other is enough to say we need a break or terminate the relationship. Yes!!! Even after x amount of years together. Thats not healthy EVER!! You need to sit down and figyre out what qualities you want in a man since he obviously isn’t giving you that. And to the @B lady, same advise, if you don’t like how he treats his child verse how he treats you than move on already. Your time is valuable so don’t waste it. Go find someone who makes you happy and treats you they way you want to be treated. DAMN.
Also adding you need to both be going to,domestic violence classes along with the anger management. And maybe even AA classes. Probably look into coybseling for yourself since you so jealous over your boyfriends adult child.
Hey @Ron, there apparently was an incident prior to him grabbing her head where she attempted to assault him. I don’t blame her for defending her life when he grabbed her head. This appears to be a domestic violence relationship, very toxic. But I also feel she tried to minimize her abusive behavior as well. Hitting is hitting. And no parents cannot buy alcohol for minors or even their own children. Theres laws in place the prohibit that. I can understand a parent would rather their child drink with them rather than out in about but at the same time drinking alcohol to get drunk is toxic, can bring on mental health issues, and substance abuse issues, especially in minors whose brains are not fully developed.
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I honestly just think this man snapped. Him putting his hands on her was very bad, so bad that she had to claw away from him that left blood and marks. To me that represents he no longer has love for LW but hatred and anger. I would want to leave. Even if it was one isolated incident. I believe LW needs to terminate this relationship. LW, his children come before you. You are not a wife. You are a person that he owes no obligation too. I’m curious as to how you feel if someone treated your children like this? Regarding the underage drinking, that’s great you were able to redirect that situation. Regardless of why he bought alcohol. I honestly,don’t see what the big deal,is about a car and paying for college. Lots of parents do this for their children. You say you are jealous of this adultchild which is a fair enough confession to the reason why you feel the way you do. Lastly ill say your relationship is over. You’ve hung on long enough.Also adding I love it when women cry that a man is abusive but yet they instigate and provoke abuse. He probably snapped on you and probably was out of character. I like how you seem to minimize your attempt to assault him. Your an abusive person. He probably just had enough.
His relationship with his child is more important than YOU. You obviously over step boundaries that you had no buisness being involved in. If your finances are not combine, you arent married, and you don’t know his child than NO its not your business. He can give his child whatever as long as he has the ability to do so. You don’t have a relationship with this child and how you see her is very negative. Also, sounds like you both are abusers. You don’t sound innocent. Sounds like its time to MOA.
I am late on this one but I wanted to add something. Ive read through everyone comments. I didn’t read anywhere from LW or anyone else asking if this guy has ever bought you flowers or did something special for you and so I was wondering had he? From what I gather everything is either 50/50 with you or you pay 100%. I sure hope you aren’t giving up the goods with that percentage. He could just be dating somebody who is a penny pincher to the extreme and you really have to ask yourself is that what you want. Is your relationship with this man the Romantic relationship you picture with a man. Ive ran into a lot of women who always make the statement that they don’t like flowers and that its a waste of money because they eventually die. However, I wish those women wouldn’t speak for all women because(or lie to themselves) there’s some women like me who love flowers and love receiving them. I had to eventually tell my husband I want him to buy me flowers, I don’t care if they die days later. To me that is a romantic gesture. A man paying for a date is a romantic gesture. I think a man opening a door for a woman is a romantic gesture. My husband hanging up pictures for me or fixing things for me is a romantic gesture. When my husband does the dishes or helps clean the home that’s a romantic gesture to me. And of course you can vice versa this and it could be romantic to the man. My man finds it to be a romantic gesture when he goes fishing and doesn’t hear me complain. You have to figure out what you want in a relationship and if you want a man to pay for some meals here and there and go get that man because there’s plenty of them out there.
