It’s time again for “Shortcuts.” For every question, I’ll give my advice in three sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss dealing with nosy family members, the right time to make a relationship official, and a relationship that screams MOA!
The next time your mother-in-law or some other nosy family member bugs you about having kids, say to them, “Oh, but we spend so much of our time having hot, passionate sex I don’t know how we could possibly squeeze a baby into our schedule right now!” That ought to shut them up.
It’s not necessary to go through a “crazy, wild stage” to be happy and satisfied in a committed relationship, but it is necessary to feel ready for a commitment. If you feel like you’re missing out on something by not dating (or sleeping with) other guys, then that’s probably a pretty good sign that you shouldn’t be ruling out those opportunities just yet.
The best time to broach the topic of exclusivity/making the relationship official is when you’re ready to be exclusive. Obviously, any time before that is too soon, and any time after, you risk losing the lady to someone else. Saying something now — if you’re ready — could make for a special Valentine’s Day later, so I say go for it.
I haven’t heard from my boyfriend of ten months in two weeks now and I’m getting worried. Two weeks ago, he took me on a very romantic date and promised he’d get in touch with me on Facebook and come over to my house the next Wednesday. He doesn’t have a phone, so it’s not unusual for me to not hear from him for some time, but this is the longest I’ve ever had to wait. The last time I had to, it was a week and a half and it was because he went on an unexpected family vacation, and like I said, he has no phone, so he didn’t tell me until after, and made sure to make it up to me once he got back since he knew I was pretty upset with him. But not only am I sick of this waiting around for him to find time for me, I’m also completely unsure of what to do.
There are a couple of options that I can think of: go by his house; or call his dad or best friend and see if they’ve seen or heard from him. But there are a few issues there. Due to financial reasons, he had to move back in with his family, and it’s pretty chaotic there, and his guard dogs make it to where I can’t even go up to his house, so neither of us like my going there by myself. And, I don’t like the idea at all of going through someone else to get to him, especially when I don’t know either of them well enough to use them as middlemen. I’m just worried that either something happened to him (I’ve even been watching the news to make sure his name doesn’t come up), or that he could get in touch with me if he wanted, but he’s choosing not to, and this is just his way of breaking up with me, even though I never thought he’d be that type of guy. So what do you think? Should I wait it out again and see what he has to say, find a way to get to him, or just MOA since two weeks is long enough to wait? And if I do wait it out, how long is long enough do you think? — Unsure Girlfriend
MOA, MOA! Everything about this situation sounds so sketchy (like, when you say he moved back in with his family, do you mean his wife and kids, because that would certainly explain things.). Move on and find a guy who has a phone and a home you aren’t afraid to approach.
*If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.